Cheerleader is the twelfth episode of Season 1 of Malcolm in the Middle and the twelfth episode overall of the show.
Summary[]
Reese joins the cheer-leading squad to impress a girl he's interested in. Dewey tries to get his parents to buy him a new toy.
Plot[]
In the cold opening, the Krelboynes have a singing session indoors during recess. As Malcolm comes in from recess after playing a game of football Caroline asks him to say something to his classmates who stayed inside while he was out playing with his friends. Malcolm sees them giving him disapproving looks but knowing they'd likely embarrass him he simply says "Thanks."
One morning, Lois calls Malcolm to get ready or he will be late for school. Malcolm doesn't know why Lois makes him get up at 8 since school doesn't start until 8:15. In the bathroom Reese is dressed up nicely and combing his hair.
It turns out Reese has become so head over heels for Wendy, a girl on the cheerleading squad, that he actually decides to join, much to Malcolm's humiliation. We see from Dewey's point of view, where he sees and hears things differently from everyone else as he tries to convince Lois and Hal to buy him a new toy. Meanwhile, Francis suffers through a long lecture on mothers from Spangler, who even gives Francis permission to cut his classes to hear the lecture.
Dewey watches the Herbie commercial again and Herbie is disappointed believing that him and Dewey were friends and informs him that all the other kids on his street are his friends because they all bought him. Herbie reminds him that his parents have lots of money they're just hiding it. He tells Dewey he shouldn't think of it as being selfish and assures him it's for his own good dreading to tell him but that if he doesn't buy him he'll die. This frightens Dewey and he goes to ask his parents. In his head he asks them politely, but in reality, he spins around on the floor screaming "I want it!" repeatedly. Lois claims he must've found the sugar.
Malcolm helps Reese by rehearsing his cheerleading routine in the backyard. Upon hearing Reese tell Malcolm to spread his legs more, Lois brings Hal to the kitchen window and informs him that it's time for the talk. Hal realizes he can't prolong it anymore but decides that if he's giving the talk all three of the boys are getting it together and if they ever have any more kids they are on their own.
Hal gathers the boys in their room to give them the talk and uses action figures to demonstrate chemistry between boys and girls and if they love each other they'll have sex. He then explains how if the boy is from their family most girls will see them as creeps which will result in the boy becoming more obsessed with her showcasing how idiotic they act until he crashes and burns. Hal explains it's hereditary and it goes back generations. Francis and their Uncle Pete have it and it's exactly the reason the boys great-grandfather left home to work at a Peruvian oil rig. Somehow though Lois carries an antidote since Hal got her and lets the boys know what they are in for.
At school the next day, the cheerleaders form a pyramid where Reese finally musters the courage to talk to Wendy normally. He tells her he's sorry for acting so stupid but explains that he only acted that way because he really likes her and doesn't have much experience with how to treat a girl. Wendy understands Reese's words and admits that she kind of liked him being a bad boy. They move their hands together causing the entire pyramid to collapse but both of their hands emerge from the pile still together.
That night, Spangler musters up the courage to call his mother on the phone. Meanwhile back at the house, Hal begins seeing similar visions to Dewey's view when a cookie from a commercial mesmerizes him, he calls out to Lois if they can get a box of cookies, but the cookie adds to make it two boxes.
Trivia[]
- The Chinese word on Malcolm's white t-shirt means "fruit."
- Dewey's sleepy time Herbie toy would reappear in Smunday as a talking alarm clock.
- This is the last episode to be filmed in 1999 in production order.
- Hal asks Reese if he’s on drugs. In this episode, he isn’t, but in Stilts, he does a ton of experimental drugs.
- When Hal gives the boys "the talk," he claims the men in the family have a genetic curse and are unlucky with women, and Hal got lucky with Lois. However, Francis has been established to have tons of relationships prior to marriage. Reese and Malcolm had multiple girlfriends in later episodes. Even Hal was revealed to date Lois's sister, Susan Welker, who was preferred over Lois by Hal and Lois's parents.
Quotes[]
- Commandant Spangler (to Francis): I am very tired off all the things you didn't mean to do. You didn't mean to come in 4 hours after curfew. You didn't mean to replace the morning revelry with a selection from trip hop wizard Tricky! Maybe I should rename this "Francis' 'I didn't mean to' File!"
- Malcolm: Reese, why are you dressed like that?
- Reese: I figured out what she likes. I started cheering for the football team, so I joined the cheer leading squad.
- Malcolm: Why didn't you join the football team, you doofus?!
- Reese: She's a cheerleader!
- Malcolm: Oh, my God, I'm a Krelboyne with a brother who's a cheerleader. I could wet my pants in public and it would be a lateral move.
- Malcolm (to Reese): Are you crying?
- Reese: No, I was reading.
- Malcolm: You don't read.
- Reese: Just shut the door, Krelboyne.
- Malcolm (to Reese): Listen to the words: good, boy, cheerleader. Quit while you still have some dignity.
- Reese: Oh, and let her think I'm a quitter.
- Malcolm: You can't even remember a simple six-step routine.
- Reese: There's six steps?
- Malcolm: Yes. It's just right-left-right-left-reverse-pose.
- Reese: You remember that by just watching?
- Malcolm: You guys did it like 10 times!
- Reese: So, you know my routine?
- Malcolm: It's not that hard.
- Reese: But... you know my routine.
- Malcolm: Yes, I do. Look, I know where this is going...
- Reese: No, you don't. You're going to help me.
- Malcolm: That is where I was going.
- Reese: Oh, good. Let's get started.
- Malcolm: No!
- Commandant Spangler (screaming from his office) My mother was neither a Madonna or a whore! She was a damn fine woman!
- Malcolm (about Reese): I tried talking to him, I gave him advice, I tried reasoning with him, there's only one thing left to do: Sit back and laugh my ass off!
- Reese (to Malcolm): I know what's more embarrassing.
- Malcolm: What?
- Reese: Getting beaten to a coma by a good boy cheerleader.
- [As Malcolm is helping Reese with his cheer leading routine]
- Reese: Stick your arms out! We have to sell this.
- Malcolm: Can you move your hand a little to the left?
- Reese: Spread your legs!
- Malcolm: No!
- Reese: I said spread your legs!
- Malcolm: No!
- Lois (in the kitchen seeing the boys, to Hal): It's time for the talk, Hal.
- Malcolm: I'm not spreading my legs.
- Malcolm (walks into the room and sees Reese tearing up his uniform): What are you doing?
- Reese: What's the point? You heard Dad! I'm doomed!
- Malcolm: You can't quit! I worked too hard for you to quit now!
- Reese: I hate to inform you, brain boy. It's not about you, it's about me!
- Malcolm: That's before I spent an entire day with your hand on my ass!