Malcolm in the Middle Wiki
Malcolm in the Middle Wiki

Cheerleader is the twelfth episode of Season 1 of Malcolm in the Middle and the twelfth episode overall of the show.


Reese joins the cheer-leading squad to impress a girl he's interested in. Malcolm plays football while the rest of the Krelboynes have a singing session indoors during recess


One morning Lois calls Malcolm to get ready or he will be late for school. Malcolm doesn't know why Lois makes him get up at 8 since school doesn't start until 8:15. In the bathroom Reese is dressed up nicely and combing his hair.

Reese becomes so head over heels for a girl on the cheer-leading squad that he actually decides to join. Dewey tries to convince Lois and Hal to buy him a new toy. Francis suffers through a long lecture from Spangler.

Hal gathers the boys in their room to give them the talk and uses action figures to demonstrate chemistry between boys and girls and if they love earth other they'll have sex. He then explains how if the boy is from their family most girls will see them as creeps which will result in the boy becoming more obsessed with her showcasing how idiotic they act until he crashes and burns. Hal explains it's hereditary and it goes back generations. Francis and their Uncle Pete have it and it's exactly the reason the boys great-grandfather left home to work at a Peruvian oil rig. Somehow though Lois carries an antidote since Hal got her and lets the boys know what they are in for.


  • The Chinese word on Malcolm's white t-shirt means "fruit."
  • Dewey's sleepy time Herbie toy would reappear in Smunday.
  • This is the last episode to be filmed in 1999 in production order.
  • Hal asks Reese if he’s on drugs. In this episode, he isn’t, but in Stilts, he does a ton of experimental drugs.


Commandant Spangler (to Francis): I am very tired off all the things you didn't mean to do. You didn't mean to come in 4 hours after curfew. You didn't mean to replace the morning revelry with a selection from "Trip Hop Wizard," tricky! Maybe I should rename this "Francis' 'I didn't mean to' File!"

Malcolm: Reese, why are you dressed like that?
Reese: I figured out what she likes. I started cheering for the football team, so I joined the cheer leading squad.
Malcolm: Why didn't you join the football team, doofus?!
Reese: She's a cheerleader!

Malcolm: Oh, my God, I'm a Krelboyne with a brother who's a cheerleader. I could wet my pants in public and it would be a lateral move.

Malcolm (to Reese): Are you crying?
Reese: No, I was reading.
Malcolm: You don't read.
Reese: Just shut the door, Krelboyne.

Malcolm (to Reese): Listen to the words: good, boy, cheerleader. Quit while you still have some dignity.
Reese: Oh, and let her think I'm a quitter.
Malcolm: You can't even remember a simple six-step routine.
Reese: There's six steps?
Malcolm: Yes. It's just right-left-right-left-reverse-pose.
Reese: You remember that by just watching?
Malcolm: You guys did it like 10 times!
Reese: So, you know my routine?
Malcolm: It's not that hard.
Reese: But... you know my routine.
Malcolm: Yes, I do. Look, I know where this is going...
Reese: No, you don't. You're going to help me.
Malcolm: That is where I was going.
Reese: Oh, good. Let's get started.
Malcolm: No!

Commandant Spangler (screaming from his office) My mother was neither a Madonna or a whore! She was a damn fine woman!

Malcolm (about Reese): I tried talking to him, I gave him advice, I tried reasoning with him, there's only one thing left to do: Sit back and laugh my ass off!

Reese (to Malcolm): I know what's more embarrassing.
Malcolm: What?
Reese: Getting beaten to a coma by a good boy cheerleader.

[As Malcolm is helping Reese with his cheer leading routine]
Reese: Stick your arms out! We have to sell this.
Malcolm: Can you move your hand a little to the left?
Reese: Spread your legs!
Malcolm: No!
Reese: I said spread your legs!
Malcolm: No!
Lois (in the kitchen seeing the boys, to Hal): It's time for the talk, Hal.
Malcolm: I'm not spreading my legs.

Malcolm (walks into the room and sees Reese tearing up his uniform): What are you doing?
Reese: What's the point? You heard Dad! I'm doomed!
Malcolm: You can't quit! I worked too hard for you to quit now!
Reese: I hate to inform you, brain boy. It's not about you, it's about me!
Malcolm: That's before I spent an entire day with your hand on my ass!