Christmas Trees is the seventh episode of Season 5 and the 92nd episode overall of Malcolm in the Middle. It aired on December 14, 2003.
Synopsis[]
A layoff at work forces Hal to sell Christmas trees in order to make money. Meanwhile, Otto's German relatives come over to the Grotto to visit, making everything go to all-out chaos.
Plot[]
In the cold open, Hal and Lois wrap Christmas presents but upon finishing find there's one more than there should be. When one of the gifts shakes, the two are horrified to find they accidentally wrapped Jamie. The two agree that they probably would have noticed before posting him.
Christmas is approaching, however everyone at Hal's company is given two weeks of forced unpaid vacation due to trouble with the Government, leaving the family with little money for Christmas presents. Hal however has an idea on how to make up the shortfall; when in college he made money by selling Christmas trees, and has already secured a load of cheap trees and an empty lot to sell them in. In theory, he should be able to easily make a large profit. Malcolm and Reese, seeing this as a promising idea, decide to invest their own money to buy more trees, delighting Hal who gets emotional at the thought of going into business with his sons. At Lois's urging, Dewey decides to invest his savings too.
Francis and Piama are spending Christmas at the Grotto, as Otto and Gretchen await the arrival of Otto's relatives. As Francis and Piama look forward to a peaceful Christmas free of arguments, suddenly Otto's relatives arrive after a miserable trip and it's not long before the many Germans are screaming at each other.
At the Lucky Aide, Craig (who has a broken foot) offers to help Lois decorate the store but Lois refuses telling him that every time he comes into contact with her or her family something awful happens (even Craig's broken foot is the result of him trying to help her reach something from a high shelf) and she can no longer stand the guilt. At Craig's insistence, Lois gives him the empty decoration box asking him to hold it, only to find once handing it over it contains a squirrel which bites Craig's finger and runs off.
At the Christmas tree lot, the family are ready to start selling with Malcolm tells everyone they only need to sell 67 trees at $6 a foot to make a profit. However they find that business is not as booming at they expected, and learn from a customer that the nearby church is selling their trees at $5 a foot. Hal decides to lower the price to $4,50; they would still make a decent (if reduced) profit on the trees but now need to sell 91. Pretty soon business is booming and only a couple of more trees need to be sold to break even, only for the reverends of the church to appear telling Hal and the boys in no uncertain terms to close down and leave immediately. Everyone refuses, Reese telling them that the family is a bunch of godless heathens, and Hal doesn't worry figuring that the church won't be capable of getting revenge... only for the reverends to set the local homeless community on the lot promising eternal salvation if they scare away Hal's customers. Soon all the customers are gone and Hal and the boys are forced to leave.
As Craig's finger is being treated, he learns he'll need to get some painful rabies shots. Lois feels terrible and, desperate not to let Craig feel more pain from associating with her family, decides to find the squirrel as if it can be cleared for rabies then Craig won't have to get the shots. She recruits the entire staff and (unknown to her) the same homeless people who scared off Hal's customers to hunt down the squirrel. After some searched, Lois is able to trap the creature.
After failing to find anywhere to sell the trees, Hal becomes desperate as they only need to sell two more trees to turn a profit. Reese casually suggests they should just sell the trees from their front yard. Hal realises that his is actually a good idea, so the business is set up back at the house. However Phil, one of the many neighbours who hates the family, tells Hal he needs a permit to sell Christmas trees from his yard. Hal offers Phil one of the trees free to buy his silence. Phil agrees and takes the tree, then calls the police anyway. An officer arrives and orders Hal to shut down immediately, and Hal begs for the chance to just be allowed to remain a little while longer so they can make a small bit of profit. The officer is about to agree when he spots Reese and, recognising him from one of his many acts of destruction, angrily orders Hal to close down and move the trees or else he'll spend Christmas in jail.
At the Grotto, Francis and Piama have spent the last few days observing Otto and Gretchen's dysfunctional relatives and find they remind them of their own respective families. Surprisingly, this starts to make the two homesick.
Having had to return their rental truck, Hal and the boys are forced to move all the trees inside the house where they dominate the space. Malcolm, Reese and Dewey all decide to give up and ask Hal to buy them out of the business. Hal begs them to keep hoping, saying a miracle will come along, at which moment the doorbell rings. Hal accosts the visitor, who is enquiring about a missing cat, and begs him to buy a tree just so he can convince his sons not to give up. The man eventually agrees and hands over the money, just to get away from Hal who celebrates that they've made a profit. At this point, Lois arrives home with Craig and the squirrel, but the sight of all the trees in the house causes Lois to accidentally let the squirrel go. With that, the homeless are called back in to hunt for it again.
Francis and Piama end up spending Christmas with Piama's family. The two happily watch Piama's parents fighting and decide to get involved. It's then revealed that Francis has arranged for Otto and Gretchen to spend Christmas with Hal and Lois so as to get away from their own relatives. The house is still filled with trees, which Otto mistakes as the family going all out with their decorations. Malcolm notes that overall it's been a pretty good Christmas; no fighting, no destructions, no arrests and he even made a profit on the trees... even if it is only ten cents.
Trivia[]
- This is the last episode to air in 2003.
- Larry Hankin who played Luther in this episode, would go on to star in Breaking Bad with Bryan Cranston.
- While visiting Piama's relatives, Francis and Piama agree to visit Francis's family the next year, they follow through with this the next season in Hal's Christmas Gift.