Day Care is the 22nd episode of season 4 and the 85th episode overall on Malcolm in the Middle. The episode aired on May 18, 2003.
Synopsis[]
A local day care center operated by a church agrees to a wailing Jamie, but there's a catch. Reese, Malcolm and Dewey must not only attend bible school, but also Hal and Lois are expected to take part of some extracurricular activities or there will be no daycare. While Reese and Hal discover the joy of being Christians, Malcolm and Dewey are not impressed and want out. Lois must deal with a troublemaking six-year-old named Seth while watching him at Lucky Aide. Meanwhile, after hearing sightings from aliens from a rival ranch, Francis attempts to organize one for Otto's ranch, which ends up getting him arrested by the government.
Plot[]
The family is suddenly awakened at 2:38 AM by a wailing Jamie who has somehow managed to get out of the diaper and defecated all over a wall. Malcolm claims that this baby is going to kill them. Hal runs into their room, informing them that it's a Level 3 mess, and orders them into the backyard. Lois questions how Jamie got out of the diaper, but Hal is at a loss too, even though he had secured it with duct tape. He orders Reese to get a mask and a bucket to clean up the mess on the wall, Malcolm to find and bury the old diaper at least three feet deep and Dewey to stand by with the garden hose to help clean Jamie up for changing. The three boys all do as they are told.
Once outside, Lois lays Jamie on a towel on the backyard table but Hal discovers they have run out of diapers and questions how they went through a bonus pack in only one day. As Jamie continues to cause a mess by soiling the towel, Lois and Hal force Dewey to give up his last clean nightshirt and they rush to get him to the shower, but they are too late, with him defecating in Lois’s hair, leaving Dewey shirtless and shivering outside.
The next morning, Hal and Lois realize that raising Jamie is putting a strain on their finances. Lois has been calling every local daycare center hoping to find a place for him. However, upon discovering they have moved down on the waiting list after being blacklisted from every center due to their boys' past misbehavior, which they consider juvenile offenses that should not be on public record. Lois is worried because her maternity leave is over, and she has to return to work the next day. Even Hal is getting desperate as they are out of juice and diluting it isn’t working since he is now watering down water. When they hear that the local church offers free daycare, they decide to join.
Soon, Hal, Lois, Reese and Dewey are sitting in the pastor’s office at the church, while Malcolm stays home to look after the hostile Jamie. Reese expresses concerns to her about their lack of knowledge about Christians and their values, and Dewey is worried about being asked to pray because he doesn't know how. Hal reassures them that they only want to meet them so for the next half hour they have to pretend to believe that God is the greatest thing in the universe. Pastor Roy welcomes them as they lie to him by claiming they want to transfer their membership from a church in Danville, Virginia that was recently bought out by a strip club. He is pleased to welcome them, but joining requires them to participate in the church's activities, including attending Bible classes, much to the boys' dismay. He asks them if they’ve gone through the precepts of the covenant, and they nervously answer yes and Hal claims that number three has gotten him through some hard times. Lois brings up how it all comes back to God and Dewey and Reese back up her statement with Reese saying that God is totally his favorite out of all the biblical figures.
At the Grotto, Otto has had to temporarily lay off employees because business has slowed down due to a festival in Roswell featuring evidence of UFOs and aliens. Francis thinks it's ridiculous, and Otto agrees since all the evidence was sealed up in Area 51 fifty years ago. Nonetheless, he calls the news station and tells them that he's seen a UFO. When he actually plans to fly a kite with lights on it, hoping to convince the news station that a UFO has been sighted to attract more tourists.
The next morning, Lois arrives at the church run daycare with a crying Jamie. She explains to Donna (Pastor Roy's wife who runs the daycare) that this behavior is out of the ordinary and at home they forget they even have a baby. She gives her some breast milk and then hands Jamie over before quickly leaving while she is distracted. Later, at Lucky Aide, despite the chaos of Craig calling out price checks, an old couple arguing, and a woman knocking over sunglasses display with her cart, Lois finds it peaceful and quiet as she is relieved to finally be away from Jamie.
The boys have to take Bible classes on Sundays after the services. In the class, Dewey asks his father what the "t" stands for (referring to a cross on the wall), before Roy asks him to continue the lesson while he leaves to attend a meeting with a parishioner, telling him that he just needs to read the story "Daniel and the Lions" believing that Hal knows it in his sleep. Hal starts slowly but accidentally loses the page when Dewey asks when the lions show up. He then improvises and must make up a new ending after a girl question whether God saved Daniel from the lions’ den. He comes up with a ridiculous ending involving a talking lamb, a boa constrictor, the missing ranger, and a CB radio.
In Reese's bible class, they are singing an overly jubilant religious song. He asks if he can sign a loyalty oath to get out of there. Mrs. Helen Munson, the teacher, tells him that no one is making him stay, yet the little voice in his head asks him why he isn't as happy as everyone else. She then shows the class paintings done by the church secretary. After Reese sees Elijah's fiery chariot, he has a spiritual awakening within.
At home, Malcolm complains to Lois about not wanting to take the class. But Lois ignores him and show him her paycheck, emphasizing that she earned it because of the day care service and only those who earns money get to have an opinion and since he doesn’t, he will attend. She then tells Hal that they need to burn the car seat after Jamie has three serious diaper accidents on the way home, before taking the baby into the bedroom. Malcolm confides in his dad to talk to her, but he encourages him to give the church a chance, understanding how different it is from what they’re used to but after he opened up to the experience he feels a real spiritual connection. Outside, Pastor Roy and the church members are finishing the nursery extension for them and Hal tells Malcolm that everyone finds their own path their own way. After this, Malcolm leaves for Stevie's house.
At the church run daycare, Donna struggles to handle Jamie, who is wearing a trash bag after ruining all of Donna's blouses. She pleads with Jamie to stop crying, while the other children cover their ears. When Lois arrives to pick the baby up, Donna reminds her she's babysitting Seth Richards the next day, which has been scheduled for two weeks. Lois is confused and explains that she only drops off at the co-op and works, rather than babysitting. Donna explains that their daycare operates on a sharing cooperation program and that she will have to reciprocate by babysitting for a few hours. Lois expresses her belief that the church was one where people felt good doing things for others without expecting anything in return. Donna insists that she was wrong to assume that and she must take her turn babysitting. Should Lois refuse, she will inform her husband about this, have the family removed from the congregation and lose the daycare services. Despite this, Lois argues that she has to work the next day and won't be able to babysit.
Unfortunately, Donna remains firm with her stance. Lois is forced to babysit Seth and has no choice but to take him to work with her. Her misadventures get her into serious trouble with angry customers. It all starts with Seth making a fort out of shopping carts and refusing to get out, even when she yells at him. She calls out to the customers waiting at the checkout that she’ll be with them in a minute. He continues to cause her problems throughout the day.
Meanwhile, back at the Grotto, Francis is impressed that his kite-flying trick made the front page of the newspaper. Otto is feeling anxious about the possibility of aliens and believes they communicated with him telepathically. Just then, a man informs them that the Songbird Ranch, a rival ranch to the Grotto, claims to have a piece of landing gear from a UFO, causing everyone to leave. Francis tries to explain that it's a hoax, but Otto, convinced otherwise, warns the people not to wave at the aliens. He believes that the aliens might misinterpret the gesture and perceive that their hands are sex organs, and they may end up starting something they don’t want to finish.
In the living room, Reese has changed and tells Dewey that he loves him. However, Dewey is skeptical because Reese has been acting weird ever since they joined the church. He explains that it’s because he’s a different person now and describes how he was feeling spiritually dead in bible class until he found faith in God and expresses his happiness by hugging him. Dewey asks Reese if he can just hit him like he used to, but he states that he is so happy for violence now.
After Roy and the churchgoers finish the nursery, Hal is overwhelmed by their work and blesses them all. However, he soon finds that, although the nursery is perfect in every other way, a graphic depiction of the crucifixion of Christ is painted on the wall. Hal tries to paint over it, but every time he lifts the brush, he sees Jesus looking at him and can't bring himself to do it for fear of his soul and the damnation it may cause.
At Lucky Aide, Lois's day gets even worse, especially when she tries to help ring a customer's items. The lady mentioned that she just scanned her own soda with her items. She apologizes for the inconvenience, saying that Seth has been keeping her frazzled, before realizing that he’s gone. Craig appears before her with a dirty Seth, asking if she’s watching him or not. Lois asks where he was found. Craig explains that he found Seth under a car sharing a candy bar with a squirrel. He tries to act innocent about it, but neither of them listen. Lois apologizes to Craig for the inconvenience that Seth caused to him and the workers. He explains that he can't be chasing Seth around the store because he's trying out a less supportive undergarment for an elderly customer planning to buy one and she needs to do something about it. The lady asks Lois why she doesn’t just leave him in her car like the other bad mothers before she leaves. Lois angrily glares at Seth but knows she can't punish him since he’s not her son.
Fed up with his brother's uncharacteristic kindness, Dewey goes to the church and gives Mrs. Munson a cynical, theological way of looking at life, explaining that humans are like ants to God and that he spent days watching the anthill in his backyard to see which were good or bad. But they all just looked like ants, and thus started smiting all of them, with lighter fluid, the lawnmower and going crazy with a shovel. Realizing that no matter how much the ants could have prayed to him, He still wouldn't have been able to hear them since it's the same way with humans, he sees no sense in worrying about it and feels better. Mrs. Munson is glad but before she can comment, Dewey resolves to live his life with as much kindness and decency as possible and try not to dwell on God standing over him ready to smite him at any second with a giant shovel. He then leaves as Mrs. Munson gazes up at God, shaken by his speech.
At Lucky Aide, Lois's anger and annoyance with Seth finally reaches it's peak when she catches him wasting $50 worth of makeup on himself. Walking back to the cash register, she reprimands him for causing trouble all day. When Seth innocently asks if he looks pretty, Lois is annoyed and gives a resounding "NO!". She announces that they're going straight to the church's daycare on her lunch break to explain to Donna why the sharing program won't work for her schedule at Lucky Aide. Before she gets a chance to do so, Seth's furious parents, who are customers, see him all messed up with cosmetics and show them condoms. Without giving her a chance to explain, they take him away and plan to report her for being a terrible influence on him. After they leave, she sees a coloring page of baby Moses that he did and has another epiphany.
Meanwhile, back in New Mexico, Francis disguises himself as a glow-in-the-dark alien in an attempt to divert customers' attention from the Songbird ranch to Otto's. However, his plans go awry when another person shows up with the same idea. This leads to a confrontation between them, and they are eventually discovered by government agents who are lurking in the area.
That night, Lois returns home and tells Hal about how shaken she is from her difficulties with Seth. Hal apologizes for not being there to help, as he was at an all-day hayride committee meeting for the church. Lois confides in Hal that she does not feel a maternal connection to Jamie and inspired by Seth’s coloring page of Baby Moses wants to do the same for Jamie, putting the baby up for adoption in the hopes that a better mother can raise their child.
However, Hal stops Lois and reminds her that she's never felt an instant connection with any of the kids at first. He even mentions a time when she tried to leave Francis at the county fair when he was an infant so he could be raised by cows but ended up loving him as he grew. This conversation brings her peace of mind, especially as they gaze lovingly upon Jamie, who has finally calmed down and is sleeping quietly. Lois then asks Hal if they’re going to keep the painting on the wall, to which he responds that he'll find an atheist handyman to remove it.
Reese wakes up Dewey, showing him that he plans to float on a homemade blimp made from tying balloons to a lawn chair. Dewey is shocked and is convinced that he will fry himself on a high-voltage wire, but Reese isn’t afraid and is confident that his faith will carry him. He tells Dewey he loves him before taking off. Dewey assures Reese that he'll miss him at first and starts thinking about how to break the news to Hal and Lois. As he flies above the clouds, he messes up the lyrics to "Amazing Grace."
Meanwhile, back in New Mexico, Francis and a worker from the Songbird ranch are arrested for increasing the town's belief in aliens. A government agent informs them that their actions are causing false alarms and costing money. He suggests that pretending to be from another planet does not harm since aliens and cavity probes are all made up. The agents confirm that aliens aren’t real but warns them that cavity probes are real, and they will use them on the two of them unless they quit their actions.
At the church, Hal and Lois explain their behavior to Pastor Roy by claiming they don't deserve to be a part of the church because of their scheme and that they don't belong around civilized people. He tries to talk them out of it since they had only joined two weeks ago, and he is ready to forgive them. But Reese comes crashing in through the stained-glass window from his homemade blimp, proving that they are right. He explains that this is precisely what they're talking about.
Cast[]
- Jane Kaczmarek as Lois
- Bryan Cranston as Hal
- Christopher Kennedy Masterson as Francis
- Justin Berfield as Reese
- Erik Per Sullivan as Dewey
- Frankie Muniz as Malcolm
Guest stars[]
Recurring[]
- Kenneth Mars as Otto Mankusser
- David Anthony Higgins as Craig
Cameos[]
- Nancy Lenehan as Helen Munson
- Jim Jansen as Pastor Roy
- Jackie Harris as Donna Roy
- Dylan Capinnelli as Seth (credited as Dylan Campinnelli)
- Howard Mann as Elderly male customer
- Jennie Ventriss as Elderly female customer
- William Christian as Don
- Sally Ann Brooks as Seth's mother
- Jim Hanna as Seth's father
- Jeff Bowser as Alien guy
- Stewart Skeleton as FBI Agent
Quotes[]
- Dewey: Like Pastor Roy said, how God is so much bigger and wiser than us and trying to see what He's thinking would be like an ant trying to see what I'm thinking.
- Teacher: Yes, exactly. But we can trust in His wisdom and have faith that He is watching over us.
- Dewey: Like me with the anthill in my backyard. I spent days watching the ants, trying to figure out which ones were good, and which ones were bad, but they all just looked like ants, so I started smiting all of them.
- Teacher: Well, that's not...
- Dewey: I was smiting them with the garden hose, and with lighter fluid, and with the lawnmower, and to be perfectly honest, I think I went a little crazy with the shovel. Those ants could have been praying to me all day, I wouldn't have heard them. There was nothing they could do about it.
- Teacher: But I don't think...
- Dewey: Really, it's the same with us. There's nothing we can do about anything either, so why worry about it? Hey, this is making me feel better.
- Teacher: Well, that's...good, but...
- Dewey: I guess all we can do is live our lives with as much kindness and decency as possible and try not to dwell on God standing over us with a giant shovel. Bye!
- [Leaves Teacher wondering, and looking up worrying about God's "giant shovel"]
- Reese: [singing to the tune of "Amazing Grace"]
- Amazing race, how sweet the taste
That saved a wrench for me.
I once was in the lost and found,
Was blind but found my keys.
- [Francis and a rival member from another ranch are arrested by the government.]
- Agent: The United States Government is not happy with the level of interest you created in this sector.
- Francis: But what's the harm in pretending I'm from another planet? I mean all that stuff of UFOs about abductions and cavity probes, that's all made up, right.
- Agent:[looks at his partner for a second] Yes, there are no aliens, but there are cavity probes.
- [At night near the sign of the Grotto Dude Ranch and a Rival dude ranch, Songbird, Francis is wearing a glow in the dark costume which he's using a flashlight to make it glow. Once ready, comes out to pretend to be an alien until a ranch member from a rival dude ranch shows up with the same idea.]
- Francis: What the hell are you doing?
- Man: What does it look like I'm doing?
- Francis: What kind of alien are you? You don't even glow in the dark. Get out of here!
- Man:[Fights with Francis] You get out of here.
- [Their fight continues until an unknown car pulls up with heavy lights to bust Francis and the rival rancher from another ranch.]
Trivia[]
- The broken-down wall in the bedroom was finally fixed in this episode.
- Although not outright stated, its implied by how serious the government agents responded to Francis' and the rival rancher's hoax that aliens are real. It's further implied that they were arrested for inadvertently drawing attention to that fact.
- For the majority of this episode, Jamie was not played by an actual actor. The only time he was played by a human being was in the cold opening and a cutaway to Malcolm babysitting him, where he was played by either Kara or Jessica Sanford. In other scenes, he was portrayed by a blanket wrapped around a pillow with a little baby beanie on it, aimed away from the camera.
- Malcolm had a minor role in this episode, only appearing in 3 scenes: The cold opening, a brief cutaway to him babysitting Jamie, and a scene where he was arguing with Lois over going to bible class. This was mainly due to Frankie Muniz filming for Agent Cody Banks.
- Originally, he had a bigger role on the episode. This involved warning Lois and Hal against their plans in joining the church's congregation just to get free day care for Jamie. He pointed out it's a bad idea and their plans will come back to haunt them later on. They ignored Malcolm, only to discover how much of a bad idea it was too late.
- He was supposed to tell Helen Munson off in how he felt about his lack of belief in God due to the miserable life that Hal and Lois caused their family over the years. Hearing this, Helen takes him to a support group that she runs in the church. While there, Malcolm discovers that there are kids there in a similar situation like his own. From there, he begins to see how his behavior affects everyone good and bad. From there, Malcolm is able to talk through his issues without being egotistical and self-absorbed. Munson tells him if he has more issues, don't be afraid to come back and talk to her about it. Malcolm agrees to do so and for the first time, he is relatively at peace with himself. He gains a lot of maturity from his experiences, and he is supposed to maintain this during the final three seasons. This is all but abandoned and given to Dewey instead.
- After being shaken up from the horrible experience with Seth, Lois has a heart-to-heart talk with Malcolm over how terrible she's been with her own children. How she had wished Hal had gotten a vasectomy like she asked him to do after all of the horrible things she went through. Malcolm asks Lois why she and Hal treated him and his brothers horribly all their lives. Lois finally admitted she hated all of her children while they were growing up, especially Francis and Reese. She explained that the two older boys have been her biggest problem, and she was already drained from dealing with them. Lois wished she and Hal had waited a few years before having children. If they had, they would've been better prepared in handing their children's bad behavior. She also wished that she had Malcolm, Dewey and Jamie instead. If she had the three first instead of Francis and Reese, Lois's views on children would've been more positive. In talking through his issues with her, Malcolm and Lois had a better understanding of each other. This was given to Hal instead.
- This has been the 4th time Francis has been in trouble with the law and arrested. The first time was in Pilot, the 2nd time was in Water Park and the 3rd time was Malcolm vs. Reese (although both Malcolm and Reese set him up after he betrayed them).
- Irony: Hal and Lois learn that the church-run day care isn't free when they're expected to return the favor by babysitting and doing church activities.
- The scene where Seth's parents are at Lucky Aide and take him away from Lois wasn't supposed to be in the script and was added in because the original scene was deemed too dramatic and not comedic enough. An original scene had her return to the church's day care with him on her lunch break. When Donna asks how things were going with them, Lois is furious and tells her off that her day was terrible. All throughout the day, Seth has caused her and her co-workers a lot of inconvenience at Lucky Aide. This is why the sharing program doesn't work with her schedule at Lucky Aide.
- This episode reveals the Wilkerson family are effectively blacklisted from other day cares close to their home due to the misbehavior of their sons over the years.
- This episode marks the 2nd time a member of the Wilkerson family has been arrested by the government. The first time was back in Garage Sale.
- This episode is the 2nd time Lois had an epiphany over being a terrible parent to her sons. The first time was in Clip Show 2, the third time is in Lois Battles Jamie and the last time is in Ida Loses a Leg.
- This episode marked the first time Lois had been broken by someone outside her family. In this case, Seth was causing her trouble and inconvenience at Lucky Aide.
- Nancy Lenehan who plays Helen Munson, also portrayed Christie Gilbert, Malcolm’s school councillor in the episode Therapy.
- This episode marks the 5th time a cold opener deviated from the normal cold openers in which one plays a significant role in the main story. The first time was in Traffic Jam. The 2nd time is in Emancipation. The 3rd time was in Humilithon. The 4th time was in Baby Part 2. The sixth time was in Reese Joins the Army: Part 2. The 7th time was in Reese Comes Home. The last time is in College Recruiters.
- In this episode, Hal, Lois and the boys discover how much of a financial strain Jamie is putting them in, along with how he kept escape from his diapers and keeping them up all night.