Dirty Magazine is the ninth episode of Season 5 and the 94th episode overall of Malcolm in the Middle. It aired on January 11, 2004.
Summary[]
When Malcolm becomes editor of the high school literary magazine, the principal instructs him to censor a well-written story. Lois encourages Hal to flirt with a new supervisor so he can keep his job. Francis teaches Otto how to waltz, and Reese messes with Dewey's mind.
Plot[]
In the opening, Dewey spents three days standing against the wall greeting his parents as they pass by. Hal and Lois are impressed by his dedication even if he didn't think to cover the hole on the other side.
Malcolm has been made the editor of the high school magazine, and two students Ronnie and Hope requested Malcolm to publish their stories in the magazine. Malcolm read Ronnie's story and was impressed with it, however Principal Block is infuriated as it contains profanity and will not allow it to be published. Malcolm is ready to give up, but Stevie and Hope convince Malcolm to contact the American Civil Liberties Union for advice. Malcolm calls and tells them what happened, but then gets nervous when they discuss filing a lawsuit against the school and hangs up. Unfortunately, the ACLU representative uses Caller ID to trace Malcolm and sues the school for censorship. To avoid the lawsuit, Principal Block must either publish the story or end all extra-curricular activities. He opts for the latter and immediately disbands all the schools' teams, groups, clubs, societies and committees, making it clear that Malcolm is responsible. He tells Lois and Hal what happened, but they give him short shrift assuming he's just taking a stand to impress a girl. Principal Block gets all of the teachers together and offers Malcolm a deal; if he signs a letter that the story never met the magazine's standards and publishing it was just a prank to see how much he could get away with, Block will lift the cancellation of the school clubs. Malcolm refuses to lie for them and to protect Ronnie's story from being censored. Ronnie then enters the room and begs Malcolm to do as they say so she can have field hockey back. Malcolm is forced to agree to the deal and signs letter to Block's lawyer. However, Malcolm gets the victory by publishing a new independent magazine called "Absolutely Filthy Smut" which features the letter on the back page as well as including Ronnie's story. The magazine is also being distributed just outside of school grounds, preventing Block from doing anything about it and now more students will read the story than would have done if Block had just allowed it to be published. Block has no choice but to accept defeat and drop the whole thing. Malcolm worries that the students would be disappointed that the magazine does not contain smut, but Stevie reveals that an obscene image will appear if pages are folded a certain way. Stevie remarks "Freedom...is a glorious thing" as he and Malcolm watch the students react to the magazine.
At Hal's workplace, the company hired Nell, a new supervisor to make cuts and fire employees. Nell took interest in Hal and began to flirt with him. After Hal explained to Lois what has been happening at his work, she disregarded Hal's complaint and ordered him to go along with Nell's advances for the sake of keeping his job. Hal eventually could not take it anymore and admitted to Nell that he only let her flirt with him because his wife ordered him to. Nell was impressed with Hal for his loyalty to his wife. Nell admitted she was planning on firing Hal, but she already fired so many people that Hal is the only one left in his department. Hal was relieved that he could keep his job and stay loyal to Lois. But before Hal could go, she wiped her lipstick on Hal's face to make Lois think they kissed. Lois asked if Hal put the lipstick on himself, but Hal continued to ignore and dodge her question.
Reese easily beat Dewey in an arm-wrestling match and asked him if he knew why he lost. Dewey stated that it is because Reese outweighed him by about fifty pounds. Reese corrected Dewey that the real reason he won is because he beat Dewey with his mind and not his muscle. Dewey did not buy this response and accused Reese of trying to mess with him again. Reese countered Dewey's statement by telling him he was not completely sure of that. Moments later, Dewey was standing outside with soil in his hand believing a sprout of grass will grow out of it. Later that night, the grass actually spouted in the soil of Dewey's hand. Malcolm and Reese did not understand how that was possible as there was no seed. Nevertheless, Reese continued on with the prank by replacing the sprout with a full-grown flower while Dewey was asleep.
At the ranch, it was Otto and Gretchen's anniversary. Gretchen got Otto a great gift but also bought herself the same gift he was about to give her. Otto did not know what to do for Gretchen until realizing he would learn how to waltz with her. Otto tried many different tactics to learn how to waltz, but they were all unsuccessful. Otto finally learned to waltz with Francis when he was instructed to stop learning it and just start doing it. At the anniversary party, Otto was finally ready to waltz with Gretchen and he started the music. Otto failed to properly waltz with Gretchen and did not understand why. He then realized he could only waltz with Francis who reluctantly agreed. Otto's waltz with Francis still made Gretchen very happy and she kissed Otto.
Trivia[]
- This episode was originally going to be rated TV-14 for suggestive dialogue but was later changed to TV-PG for mild language.
- This is the first episode to have to use a censored bleep.
- Principal Block is played by Kurtwood Smith, best known for his role as Red Foreman on That 70's Show, another FOX sitcom; much like Block, Red was often a stern authority figure and was also the first person to use a word that had to be bleeped on the show.
- Mr. Block was planned to return in Malcolm Defends Reese who immediately revokes Herkabe's 'GPA award and curses him out for lying about not taking Gym when he flunked the class. Then to add humiliation to him, Block tells him that he's fired from his job and gives Malcolm the GPA award. 'H'e' was later replaced as North High School's principal with Mr. Hodges.