Forwards Backwards

Forwards Backwards
Season 4, Episode 5
Previous	Stupid Girl
Next	Forbidden Girlfriend

Forwards Backwards is the 5th episode of season 4 and the 68th episode overall on Malcolm in the Middle. It was directed by Levi Issacks and written by Maggie Bandur. The episode premiered on Fox in December 1, 2002.

Plot

Days before Malcolm's birthday, he and Reese pull increasingly severe pranks against each other. Flashbacks throughout the episode gradually reveal how their feud began and reached the breaking point when Malcolm ate a blueberry Reese was saving. Meanwhile, Francis encounters a "devil cow" at the ranch and discovers it's just an ordinary cow long overdue for milking. Dewey worries about his role as Abraham Lincoln in the school play. Hal enlists Craig to help him find Malcolm a birthday present, but is driven nuts by his constant demands.

Synopsis

Main Plot

With Malcolm's birthday approaching, he has been socking away money in book-type safe to buy Stevie's old laptop computer from Abe. However, he and Reese are currently locked in an escalating war of pranks and abuses. Malcolm duct tapes Reese's entire head, while he was screaming for help due to struggling with the Barbell. He retaliates by beating Malcolm senseless, which Lois diffuses. While removing the duct tape out of Reese's head, she loudly reprimands both boys for their behavior again. Lois reminds Malcolm that his birthday is coming soon, she warns him and Reese to behave themselves at once if they want to avoid the inevitable dual grounding. Ignoring her warning against continuing the prank war, he is determined to out-duel Reese and let him get grounded.

At school, Malcolm super glues Reese's forearm to his forehead. A flashback shows him wet, angered and covered in a towel walking in the living room with a fire extinguisher on hand. Sticking the nozzle of the fire extinguisher's hose in Malcolm's pants, Reese sprays foam in them and causing him to fall down. Later on, Reese retaliates by posting his embarrassing "potty training" pictures on school lockers. Another flashback shows an angry Malcolm with his mouth covered in toothpaste blowing an air horn in his ears, which causes Reese to fall in the shower. Malcolm approaches Reese at school, appearing to drop the whole prank war, but then publicly humiliates Reese for hanging out with "friends" who don't even know who he is. In another flashback, a dirty and muddy Reese puts meat in the toothpaste. Malcolm uses it and is disgusted by the taste of it and throws up in the sink.

In the boys' bedroom, Malcolm tells Stevie that Reese deserved that humiliation and thinks he has a clear path to one up him. Stevie attempts to voice his concerns over his recent behavior. That he's concerned over Lois' reaction to their fighting. Malcolm reassures Stevie that things will be fine and Reese will know better than to mess with him. He notices a letter from Ida and it reveals a $5 Canadian for his birthday. Malcolm's happiness is shattered when he opens the book safe and finds a letter from Reese informing him that he had stolen all of his birthday money in retaliation for humiliating him in front of the school. Infuriated, he goes after Reese in revenge as Stevie chases after him and warns that the police will arrest him and he'd be tried as an adult. A flashback shows Malcolm vacuuming dirt out of the fireplace and grounded by Lois for an unspecified punishment. Reese appears grabbing his baseball, bat and glove to play with his classmates. When he attempts to put his baseball hat on, he is covered in dirt.

At the Family Fun Center Amusement Park after losing his money, Malcolm decides he has nothing to lose and intentionally crashes his go-kart into Reese's own and causing him to spin out of control. The announcer orders him to return to the pit area to face proper punishment. Ignoring the announcer, Malcolm yells at Reese for ruining his birthday by stealing his money that he had been planning to use to buy Stevie's old computer. He responds by this is what Malcolm deserves for the humiliation in front of the school and ends it by tossing a quarter on the track, telling him to keep the change. The announcer then orders Reese to return to the pit area for being discourteous and face disciplinary actions. Both boys ignore the announcer, their anger at each other being too strong for them. Malcolm screams that he no longer cares about his birthday, his money or the safety of either of them, only to make Reese suffer. Their fighting culminates into a game of chicken, which ends with the two wiping each other out. A flashback occurs with Malcolm washing dishes after breakfast. An angry Reese gives him a wet Willie in revenge.

At the house, Hal and Lois are furious with Malcolm and Reese after picking the boys up from the hospital for incurring more expenses in damages and injuries. Malcolm is seen with his right arm in a cast and his head bandaged up, while Reese's body is bandaged up and he's having a hard time walking. Lois points out that she wished the doctors sewed furs and tails on both of them because they're prime examples of animals. Hal informs the boys that they're both grounded again, Malcolm on his birthday for escalating the fight and Reese for being a jerk in presumably starting the fight. In addition, the boys have accumulated another lifetime ban for the family from the Family Fun Center Amusement Park for the destruction of two of the park's go-carts. As the boys argue among themselves and blame each other for getting them grounded, Lois silences them. She asks Malcolm and Reese what they've previously done on their birthdays. When they reveal that they've done nothing to celebrate it with Reese admitting that he got grounded last year after she caught him smashing Malcolm's face in the cake, she calls them out for it. Lois points out that it's the reason neither Malcolm and Reese have been able to enjoy their respective birthdays. She finds it sad that they willingly threw away a chance at a special days because they kept fighting each other. In turn, it always ends with Lois having to ground both Malcolm and Reese for it. She begs the boys to let up their rivalry soon as the only thing they're going to remember on their birthdays is how miserable it was to be grounded when they should've been celebrating it. She wonders if they think revenge is really worth it to them, and wonder if they are happy now after getting revenge. In that moment, Malcolm and Reese both finally feel remorse over how badly they behaved by escalating the fighting and making it worse. Lois mentions that Malcolm and Reese shouldn't be fighting since they love them both same way, as there are no favorites in the family. Hal then wonders where Dewey is.

At the end of the episode, Malcolm and Reese are both seen cleaning the kitchen floor with toothbrushes. In the last flashback, it is revealed that Malcolm started the prank war with Reese. Before leaving to get a refill of orange juice, he tells Malcolm not to eat the last blueberry on his plate because he is saving it for later. He ignores Reese's request and eats the blueberry, asking, "What's the worst that could happen?" to the audience.

Subplots

Hal & Craig

In a subplot, Hal wishes to buy Malcolm an actual birthday gift, despite his request for money. Knowing his son's affinity for comic books, Hal asks for assistance in the comic book shop. Unfortunately, the owner, Dean, is rude and refuses to help him because he's not a comic book fan. He even goes as far as insulting Hal by pointing out his short business dress casual shirt, slacks, tie and dress shoes. Dean and his pals, Ricky and Bob orders him to leave so they can help an actual comic book customer. That night, Lois asks Hal how his trip to the comic book store went. He admits it didn't go very well since Dean was very rude to him and exposed him for not being a comic book fan. Despite Lois' admonition against asking for Craig's help, Hal decides to do so anyway. The next day, Craig visits the home, at Hal's request. Craig reminds him of all the times that he came to the family's aid when they "needed" him, albeit for meager tasks that only he can handle. When the time comes for Hal and Lois to repay him back by returning the favor in helping him out, they always renege their deal by coming up with some poor excuse to avoid him. He promises that they will pay Craig back in full if he agrees to help him out with the negotiations at the comic book store. He agrees to help out this time, but it comes with a price. Craig demands that Hal drives him around the whole day.

After spending a day of driving him around, Hal is annoyed by this believing his actions was out of revenge over how the Wilkerson family treated him. Craig tells him off that he can't negotiate with Dean unless he is at full strength. Hal doesn't believe him and insults him inside the car. He is offended and demands that Hal takes him home at once. He pulls over, and Hal tries to apologize for his actions. He soundly rejects the apology, stating that Hal was rude and impatient with him. Craig tells Hal off that he would have to learn to negotiate with Dean on his own. He calls off the deal and leaves the car with his things to his house.

At the comic book store, Hal again attempts to try his luck and finally persuades Dean to help him. However, before he can sell him a mark up of a bad comic book of Dead man's Shoes, Craig shows up to save the day, much to Hal's shock. Dean is displeased and tells him to go away because the deal doesn't concern him at all. Ricky and Bob immediately recognize Craig right away due to them playing Dungeon Master all the time. He refuses Dean's request to leave and states the deal does concern him. Craig immediately confronts him for his actions for attempting to sell Hal a bad comic book. He points out to Dean by revealing that he has one like it framed in his bathroom, but he never reads it(except when it was made) and has checked the Overstreet with 50,000 returns from the comic book store. Craig accuses him of his comic book store he of being a mere novelty shop. Dean attempts to sell Hal a 'rare' Spider Man comic book about his first fight with the Green Goblin, hoping he could take advantage of his naivete. However, Craig isn't fooled by his attempt and saves Hal once more by tossing soda on the comic book, revealing it was a 1993 reprint of Spider Man's first fight with the Green Goblin, mentioning that he knew it was a fake the moment that Dean foolishly took it out of the plastic cover. He also points out that if it had been an original, he would've protected the comic book from getting wet. With that, Craig is able to force Dean into negotiations for a better and rare comic book. Hal is grateful to Craig for saving him from buying a bad comic book. When he offers to have Hal go with him to a nearby convention, Hal refuses, saying that he has a life.

Dewey's Play

Dewey asks for Lois' help in creating a costume for his role as Abraham Lincoln. He is worried that she and Hal may avoid attending his class events. Dewey knows this because each time he tells them about a class event he has at his school, Hal and Lois always avoids going there by coming up with some poor excuse. This in turn will end in his disappointment like it always does. Lois promises they'll be there as long as Malcolm and Reese behaves. She tells him that if he feels nervous on the stage, to look to the front row, where they'll be sitting. And just in case, she gives him a spare hat that she made just in case he feels the need to throw up.

On the day of his class event, Dewey is nervous about performing, as his parents didn't show up (due to having to deal Malcolm and Reese's misbehavior), like they said they would. Dewey gets disappointed, but then he fantasizes about an imaginary set of parents, performing an operatic musical delivery of the Gettysburg Address, which gets a standing ovation from the people in the auditorium.

The next day, Hal and Lois are buy Dewey a Game Boy Advance, as an apology for missing his school play. He isn't bought off yet, because he's still upset with Hal and Lois for not attending. The two are remorseful for breaking their promise to Dewey and apologize to him, with Lois mentioning that she and Hal never intended to miss it, but they got preoccupied with his brothers misbehavior as usual. Hal offers Dewey the comic book that Craig got for Malcolm, at which he tells Hal and Lois that he's slowly getting over it as they offer him the other gifts as well. As he leaves, Dewey wishes Malcolm a happy birthday.

Grotto

At the Grotto Ranch, a series of ghoulish discoveries (slaughtered chickens and a flattened antelope, for starters) prompt Otto to recount the local legend of the mythical "devil cow," a marauding bovine who occasionally comes down from her mountain lair to cause mayhem. Francis isn't buying into the supernatural aspects of the tale, however, taking up a shotgun to fend off the beast.

On one stormy night, Otto is afraid, but Francis soon discovers that there is no devil cow. It was Betsy, an ordinary cow that was behind the whole thing because her udders have been full with milk and it was causing her pain. Francis sits down on a stool, puts a bucket under her udders and helpfully milks her. He understands how much in pain Betsy was in for the neglect. She moos in agreement and is finally relieved over being milked.

Cast

• Jane Kaczmerek as Lois
• Bryan Cranston as Hal
• Christopher Kennedy Masterson as Francis
• Justin Berfield as Reese
• Erik Per Sullivan as Dewey
• Frankie Muniz as Malcolm

Recurring

• David Anthony Higgins as Craig
• Craig Lamar Taylor as Stevie
• Kenneth Mars as Otto

Cameos

• Tim Sharp as Dean
• Trieu Tran as Bob
• Marquis Scott as Ricky
• Oscar Nunez as Ranch Hand
• Angie Hughes as Female Guest
• Kevin Dunigan as Male Guest
• Bonnie Burroughs as Pretend Mom
• Matt Hannigan as Pretend Dad
• Jonny Acker as High School Kid(uncredited)

Trivia

• The complete sequence of events in the escalating feud between Malcolm and Reese is as follows:
  • 1) Malcolm started the feud by eating a blueberry off Reese's plate
  • 2) Reese gives Malcolm a wet Willie
  • 3) Malcolm fills Reese's cap with dirt
  • 4) Reese puts raw meat in Malcolm's toothpaste
  • 5) Malcolm blows an air horn at Reese while showering
  • 6) Reese shoots a fire extinguisher into Malcolm's shorts
  • 7) Malcolm covers Reese's head with tape
  • 8) Reese gives Malcolm a black eye
  • 9) Malcolm glues Reese's arm to his forehead
  • 10) Reese distributes Malcolm's baby picture all over school
  • 11) Malcolm shows Reese up before the popular kids
  • 12) Reese steals Malcolm's birthday money
  • 13) Malcolm and Reese play chicken in go-karts and wipe each other out
  • 14) Results end in the same way with Hal and Lois grounding the boys again.
• There was a Game Boy advance seen with Dewey playing it.
• Johnny Acker makes his first recurring appearance on the show as a high school student whom Reese claims to be friends with but isn't. He would later play Ira, Reese's bully and Billy's older brother
• This is the third time that the Wilkerson family earned a lifetime ban from a public place. This time it's at a Family Fun Center Amusement Park when the boys caused extensive damages on two of their go-karts. The first time was in Traffic Jam and the 2nd time was in Dinner Out. Coincidentally, it would be the last time they were banned on screen.
  • In Buseys Run Away, the family would be banned again, this time off screen from a movie theater from a prank gone wrong.
• This episode marks the only time that Hal and Lois show regret at missing Dewey's class function.
• This is Maggie Bandur's first solo writing credits. She had previously been credited alongside her co-writer, Pang-Ni Landrum.
• This is Betsy the Cow's first appearance on this show. She returns in Victor's Other Family, revealed in having a relationship with an amorous horse named Thunder.
• The kart racing scenes were filmed at the Mountasia Family Fun Center in Santa Clarita.
• Originally Malcolm and Reese were both going to be blamed by Lois for making her and Hal miss Dewey's play. The older boys were supposed to show no remorse for how they behaved themselves and call Hal and Lois out. Both Malcolm and Reese points out that they don't care if they lost their birthdays nor made their parents miss Dewey's play. Both brothers values their fighting and revenge more than their birthdays. To them, it has a sweeter taste and that they both enjoy the negative attention that both parents give them. Enraged by Malcolm and Reese's defiance, Lois announces that from now on: no one will celebrate the older boys' respective birthdays anymore. That Malcolm and Reese will have to do a lot of household chores.
• As he’s riding the go kart, Reese sings the Speed Racer theme song, which is a 1967 anime.

Quotes

Craig:(pushing the doors open in a heroic fashion) Not so fast!

Dean: This transaction does not concern you, Feldspar.

Bob: That's Craig Feldspar, he's a level 45 Dungeon Master.

Craig:(confronting Dean for attempting to sell Hal a $50 mark up of a bad comic book) What cereal box did you shake this out of, Dean?

Dean: It's the first print, totally collectible.

Craig: Oh, should we check the Overstreet? Wait, we don't have to! 1997: First and only printing. 50,000 returns all in circulation. I keep this in my bathroom, but not for reading. This isn't a comic book store, it's a novelty shop!

[Dean attempts to sell Hal a "rare" comic book of Spider-Man fighting the Green Goblin by taking it out of it's plastic covering. Craig isn't buying it and spills soda on it.]

Ricky: What are you doing?

Craig: Fear not, it was only a 1993 reprint. If that had been an original, he would've thrown himself at it.

Ricky:[He and Bob are now betrayed by Dean after hearing Craig out] Dude, you told me that was real.

Craig: Now, lets talk business!

---

[A furious Hal and Lois are forced to miss Dewey's play by having to pick up an injured Reese and Malcolm from the hospital.]

Lois: I should've told the doctor to sew furs and tails on you boys because you're animals! Only animals are easier because then I can have you FIXED!

Hal: For all the good it does, you're grounded again.

Malcolm: Thanks a lot for getting me grounded on my birthday!

Reese: Oh boo hoo, I was grounded on my birthday!

[Lois overhears this and is much angrier]

Malcolm: I was just standing up for myself! There is such a thing as justice, you know?!

Reese: Well, there is such a thing as "Shut up"-!

Lois: Stop it! Malcolm, do you remember what you did for your birthday last year?

Malcolm: Nothing. I was grounded then, too.

Lois:(to Reese) And what about your birthday?

Reese: You grounded me after I smashed Malcolm's face into the cake.

Lois: And your birthday before that?

Malcolm: Pretty much this.

Reese: (to Malcolm) Wait. When did you push me off the pony?

---

Hal: All right, two scoops, fudge ripple. Now are we going to the comic book store?

Craig: (imitating Yoda) Patience, Luke. You are reckless.

Hal: We've gone to he beach, we've gone to the movies. I won you an animal at the church bazaar. We've gone out for coffee, lunch, Slushees, pie.

Craig: I can't negotiate unless I'm firing on all cylinders.

Hal: Just how many cylinders do you have?

---

[Last flashback, at the dinner table.]

Reese:[getting up, but leaves his plate with a blueberry on it.] Don't eat that blueberry, I'm saving it.

Malcolm:[ignores Reese and eats the blueberry off his plate] What's the worst that could happen?

---

[Malcolm has just bumped Reese's go-kart, causing him to go out of control and spin to the side of the road. He stops feet in front of Reese]

Announcer: Car #15, no bumping. Return to the pit area.

Reese: What the hell are you doing?

Malcolm: You had no right. You stole from me. That was my money.

Reese: Fine. Let's see (finds a quarter and tosses it out in the middle of the race track) I've done 63 laps, keep the change.

Announcer: Car 8, let's be courteous.

---

[Malcolm runs out of the room and chases after Reese for stealing his money that he had planned to use to buy Stevie's old laptop.]

Stevie: They'll try you as an adult!