Hal's Birthday is the fifteenth episode of the third season of Malcolm in the Middle, which was broadcast on March 3, 2002.
Plot[]
Lois arranges for Francis to come home on Hal's birthday as a surprise. Francis arrives with Piama (Emy Coligado), revealing to the family that she is his new wife.
Malcolm, Dewey, and Reese are immediately sent to bed while arguments rage on between Lois and Francis, ruining Hal's birthday. Meanwhile, the boys, upset that their parents don't care about their opinions, sneak off to a hotel with Hal's credit card to start a new life.
Summary[]
The boys are grounded for another unspecified prank they pulled in destroying the family's fireplace, with another three weeks' worth of household chores. Lois walks in and reminds them that their punishment isn't over until the fireplace is so spotless, they can eat off it, which they are going to be doing for the next two weeks. Reese argues with her that it is not fair that she has punished them again for her own mistake in not replacing the aging fireplace when she should have. Enraged, Lois announces that he just bought himself another week of grounding for calling her out. Malcolm asks her when she will lift their punishment; Lois tells him that she will lift it when the boys learn not to play around with the fireplace again. She reminds them that today is Hal's birthday and they need to behave themselves. After Lois leaves, the boys stop cleaning the bricks of the fireplace and head into the kitchen. Malcolm finds a piece of paper in the trash, and discovers that Lois has arranged for Francis to come home and visit as a birthday surprise for Hal. Excited to have him come home, the boys say silent with Hal, and return to cleaning the fireplace. Soon, Stevie calls Malcolm to invite him, Reese and Dewey to come see the monster truck show with him and his family. The boys really want to go to the show, mentioning that his family have front row seats in the handicapped section. However, Lois puts her foot down by refusing and reminding Malcolm, Reese and Dewey that Hal's birthday is tonight and they need to celebrate it. When Reese tries to argue against it by pointing out that they owe her nothing, she grounds him even further for the deed and leaves.
Later on at night, the Wilkersons are waiting for Francis to arrive with the cake ready to be cut. He arrives later on to the family's joy along with an unfamiliar woman. When asked who she is, the surprise is on everyone when Francis introduces Piama as his wife, having gotten married after their one-month engagement. Naturally, Lois is furious and demands to know why he is doing this to her again. She immediately sends Malcolm, Reese and Dewey to bed, but they all refuse to leave. They point out that even they agree with Lois that Francis pulled a boneheaded move in not telling the family. She screams at the boys to go to their room before she extends their grounding, making it clear she has no interest in their opinions. The boys leave for their room, while the arguments rage on with Lois and Francis, ruining Hal's birthday. Hal tries to calm everyone down, but Lois tells him that she is beyond calm. Piama calls her out for being mean to him, resulting in a fight between the two women. Lois is angered that out of her family, her new daughter-in-law is the only one who does not back away when she gets at her.
In the boys' room, Malcolm, Reese and Dewey are all sick of how Lois doesn't care about what they think and discuss their plan of action. Since Lois will not listen to them, they decide sneak away to a hotel room and begin a new life away from the family using Hal's credit card. The boys pack what they need to bring and leave the room. As an argument continues to rage on, Malcolm announces that they've had it with and thus they're leaving to emancipate themselves from this family. He helps Reese and Dewey out the door and then closes it. However, no one pays them any attention due to Lois' preoccupation in being angry at Francis. Hal is depressed when he notices her ripping out his birthday cake with her bare hands and blaming their eldest son. Francis defends himself by pointing out that Lois never cared about her children, nor their opinions at all and it was always about her. Enraged, Lois tells him off that he's always been a problem since he was born. Francis shoots back that he learned from her at an early age.
Eventually, Hal and Lois realize the boys are missing and Hal heads out with Francis to look for them. Hal reprimands Francis in the car for making such a bad decision. He tried to defend himself in not waiting to marry Piama. Hal points out how disappointed he is in Francis because he didn't tell anyone but instead chose to land his new wife on the family expecting them to just accept it. He mentions that he had to wait a few years to marry Lois because he was dating Susan at the time. Hal reveals that if Francis had told him about the wedding, he would have been there. Francis feels guilty and apologizes to Hal, mentioning that even if he asked his father and his brothers to come, Francis would not want to see Lois at his wedding, knowing that she would try to ruin things for him by causing a scene. As they drive on, Bernard, the hamster in the orange ball is seen further rolling his way to freedom.
At the hotel, Dewey convinces the rude concierge to let the boys stay in the hotel and use Hal's credit card by pretending to throw up on the desk. He gives them keys to the suite to keep them quiet. There, the boys have the time of their lives, ordering $15 burgers, a surf and turf, desserts and enjoying the Jacuzzi. They then decide to spend the money on the credit card.
At the Wilkerson Kitchen, Lois and Piama are trying to have a conversation. However, an argument breaks out between them. Piama tells Lois that she should drop the high-road act and admit how much she does not approve of her marriage to Francis. She mentions that she is nineteen years old, had lived in a dysfunctional family with an alcoholic father and an absentee mother, been divorced two years prior and has no intentions in being a mother. Lois admits that she doesn't like Piama at all, simply because she is too much like Lois herself. Before another fight breaks out, Francis and Hal diffuses the situation by mentioning they know where the boys are.
Hal, Lois, Francis and Piama arrive at the hotel room where the boys are staying and confront them. They reassure the boys that they are not in trouble and just want to talk. They see past it and demand to leave. Lois asks the boys to come home and let the family explain their behavior. Reese and Dewey refuse once more, blaming her for not listening to them when they earlier voiced their disapproval over Francis' earlier decision. Malcolm wisely asks Lois to take a hard look at herself because the boys are in their rights to be mad at her for her behavior. He mentions that as a family, they need to listen to each other and talk in a mature manner, not behave like control freaks. Lois reassures Malcolm that she will hold back on being a control freak and apologizes for her earlier behavior. She mentions that she is just angry right now over Francis' behavior in marrying someone he barely knew. Piama tosses water on Lois, pointing out that she's acting like a control freak again. Before she could confront Piama, Hal diffuses the situation by tossing a bucket of water on her. Lois orders Francis to leave at once and take his wife with him.
The next day, Malcolm recaps on what happened as Hal and Lois bid Francis and Piama farewell. After they leave, Lois catches Reese misbehaving by chasing Dewey around. She is tempted to yell at him for misbehaving and planning to ground him again; however, she holds back on it and calms down. She grab a pen and notepad, and writes a bill for $5 that Reese needs to pay for harassing Dewey. Horrified, he quickly apologizes and promising to do his chores from now on. Watching Reese run away in fear, Malcolm announces that he hates the current system Lois has on them and wishes that she gone back to yelling at them, the grounding and chores punishment.
Cast[]
- Jane Kaczmerek as Lois
- Bryan Cranston as Hal
- Christopher Kennedy Masterson as Francis
- Justin Berfield as Reese
- Erik Per Sullivan as Dewey
- Frankie Muniz as Malcolm
Recurring[]
- Emy Coligado as Piama
Cameos[]
- Wayne Wilderson as Hotel Concierge
- Jim Meskimen as Waiter
Trivia[]
- Hal and Francis drive past Bernard, the hamster in the orange ball that Dewey had set free in the episode Health Scare. This is the fourth time Bernard is seen rolling through the background. ("Health Scare", "Poker", "Reese Drives") His final time is in Monkey, rolling past Eric as he ironically makes it to Alaska.
- Lois told Francis he has been nothing but a problem since the day he was born just like the way she did in "Emancipation". She used it in the same tone of voice word for word.
- When Francis and Hal talk in the car, they drive down Ventura Blvd, crossing Sunnyslope Ave here.[1]
- This is the first appearance of Piama.
- Piama said in one of her scenes with Lois that she was nineteen years old, even though the actress who portrayed her (Emy Coligado) was about thirty years of age at the time of shooting.
- Piama confesses that she hates children in this episode. The next times this subject is mentioned is in Cliques and Monkey. By the series finale after Reese's prank goes awry, she is desensitized over changing a dirty diaper and announces to Francis that she's ready to have kids.
- It takes Lois until Family Reunion, Thanksgiving, and No Motorcycles to accept Piama.
- It's possible that Francis delayed coming home to the Wilkerson house on time intentionally by secretly getting married to Piama. This was intended for revenge on Hal and Lois for having not paid for the plane ticket home just to see Jimmy Buffet and forcing him to undergo a humiliating hazing birthday ritual at Marlin Academy in Bully.
Quotes[]
- [The Wilkersons are all sitting at the table, there are burnt out candles on the cake and Hal is waiting to eat it.]
- Hal: We've been waiting for twenty minutes, Lois. When can we eat?
- Lois: [Slightly nervous] Hal, we have to wait for the ice cream to loosen up. You know you like it soft.
- Hal: No, I don't.
- Dewey: Yes you do!
- Malcolm: In fact, so do we! We ALL do!
- Lois: Since when?
- Reese: Since yesterday [winks]
- Hal: What happened yesterday?
- Reese: Dad, just be patient. This isn't a witch hunt! Just calm down, and whatever happens, is going to happen!
- Hal: [Slightly panicked] What are you talking about?
- [Reese exchanges a nervous glance at the rest of the Wilkersons.]
- Reese: What I'm trying to say, is we're going to get through this together, as a family... [long pause] ...and as individuals!... [longer pause]
- [Malcolm is looking at Reese with a worried expression on his face.]
- Reese: ...in this great country, where we live.
- [The house is silent for about two seconds as everyone looks at Reese with a "you better not spoil this" look]
- [The silence is shattered by the doorbell ringing.]
- Lois: [Relieved] Thank God!