Hal's Dentist is the seventeenth episode of season seven of Malcolm in the Middle.
Synopsis[]
Hal cracks his tooth, but lucky for him, his friend Trey is a dentist. Meanwhile, Malcolm and Dewey lose all the excitement in their lives but falls in love with brand-new mattress. Reese teaches Lois how to ride a bike.
Plot[]
The boys are walking down the road completely bored with Reese claiming it's so boring it almost makes ditching school seem pointless. Reese then sees a dead squirrel and tells his brothers their week just filled up, but Malcolm and Dewey aren't interested as the squirrel will stop being interesting after a while and just end up in their closet with the other squirrel corpses, they both decide to pass and walk away. Reese tells them it's their loss and decides to go on his own.
After fiddling around with the dead squirrel, Reese walks through an alley where he runs into his mom with a bicycle. Lois tries to bust him for ditching school, but he changes the subject because he can smell shame a mile away, and how it smells like rotten coconut as he demands an explanation. Lois reveals that Lucky Aide is organizing a bike-a-thon after some idiot made a big stink about how the store isn’t doing enough for charity. Reese suggests that she drop out, but Lois says she has to because she was the idiot who suggested it. She then reveals that she can’t ride a bike and emphasizes how embarrassing it is for her. Reese is in disbelief and idiotically starts to yell out her secret until Lois tackles him to the pavement. Lois informs her son how he doesn’t understand the trauma she’s been through and her father didn’t believe in training wheels and that he simply tied her to the bike and pushed it down a hill. Reese begs his mom to let him up since there’s broken glass on the ground. Lois continues explaining how she lost three teeth from the accident only for him to push her down all over again. She told everyone she knew how to ride and has been lying to everyone for her whole life and if he tells anyone about it, she will kill him. Reese promises that he won’t tell a soul and if she lets him up, he’ll teach her. And to demonstrate he can keep her secret, he loudly yells saying he does not want her drugs for a passerby to hear, so they would not suspect her struggle with the bike.
Later Malcolm and Dewey sit on the side of the road still completely bored with Dewey wondering if they should go see what Reese is up to with the squirrel, but Malcolm knows Reese too well and knows that all the good parts will be gone already. He then realizes nothing exciting ever happens in Studio City and wishes that something interesting would happen. Just then a mattress falls out of the sky right in front of them, Dewey is in shock that they even have boring miracles. Malcolm concludes it must've fallen from a plane and realizes that it is brand new with tags. They decide to try it out and do stuff it's like sitting on a cloud with another cloud underneath. Dewey wonders if the mattress could be worth some money, Malcolm debates whether they should sell it or keep it and decide to test it out. After falling asleep on the mattress until nightfall, they are awoken by a car horn. Malcolm tells Dewey that they fell asleep, but Dewey dictates that sleep is what you feel after you’ve been beaten up, and their slumber was heavenly. They conclude they are keeping the mattress and carry it home.
Meanwhile, Hal has his game with his poker buddies and Steve brings out the caramel corn much to Abe's excitement, due to Kitty putting on a diet. When Hal partakes, he cracks his tooth. Trey, who is a dentist, examines and determines the damaged is #31, which is important for eating and talking. Much to Hal's dismay, he admits he does not have dental insurance and he will have to go to the dental college to be treated. He hates doing so as they are required to sign a waiver and supply their own ether. Trey offers Hal to come to his office on Monday and he will "take care of it," much to Hal's relief.
The next day, Malcolm and Dewey wake up with heavy comfort with how great their sleep was and commenting how smart it was to get 800 thread count sheets to compliment the mattress. They lament on what to do with all the new energy but decide sleep for 5 more minutes. Reese coaches Lois on riding a bike, but Lois is afraid. Reese encourages her to turn her fear into hate, expressing he fears mailboxes and turned it into hate by smashing mailboxes in their neighborhood. Lois was confused how Reese could be afraid of mailboxes, to which Reese said he was always scared a mailbox would close on his hand. Reese then tries to figure out what hate Lois had, to which she denies having hate, saying she does not hate her life or, surprisingly, not even her job. Reese then brings up how he charged kids $5 to watch her shower, which angers her, and Reese quickly gets her to shift it to the bike. Unfortunately, Lois attempts to sit on the bike and is afraid to fall. She sees herself being way up high and over Reese's head, she grabs onto him, begging him not to let her fall.
Meanwhile, Hal is at Trey's dental office and has been treated for his tooth with a temporary crown in #31's place. Hal is brought to tears of joy with how wonderful his experience is and how it is relieving seeing a real dentist for the first time in years.  He thanks Trey for everything and compliments him on being such a good friend. However, his happiness was shortly destroyed as he was handed a bill for $2,000. He tries to explain to the receptionist that Trey is his friend and he said he'd take care of it. The receptionist assured him he was given a 10% friend discount, to which Hal was shocked that he could've been charged more. He accidentally tears up his parking validation instead of the bill explaining what he feels about the bill.
Malcolm, Reese and Dewey come home from school. Reese explains he and their mom have been spending extra time together going to the library, doing "library things." Reese then looks through the closet and asks if his brothers know where the bike pump is, only to turn and see they already fell asleep on their bed. On the next poker game, Trey comes over needing to take his coat off, Hal offers to take care of it. Hal rudely tosses Trey's coat aside, to everyone else's concern. They begin to argue about the bill and then question the group's thought on who is right. Half the group believe Hal is right and the other half think Trey is right. They all then argue on what "taking care of it" means, mainly that it means Trey agreed to take care of it for free while the other half disputes Trey never used the term "free." Malik, who is a mediator for a law firm, needed to intervene and asking the two parties to understand the issue from each other's side. Trey acknowledged how "taking care of it" can be misinterpreted while Hal acknowledged how Trey earned his profession, and he deserves to be compensated for his work. Both apologize and shake hands, Hal then asks Malik how much he is owed for his assistance. Malik responds nothing, it's all taken care of, to which Hal rebukes at Trey, and Trey argues is not the same issue. Hal then decides to pull out the crown so Trey cannot keep him held up to the bill.
At dinner, Hal struggles to eat and slurps through his food without chewing. Malcolm and Dewey complain to themselves the chairs are hard and cannot conform to their bodies, thinking of the mattress. Reese, otherwise, blackmails Lois being unable to ride her bike and asks her about how the bike-a-thon is going, to which she replies fine. Reese then asks her for another piece of cake, to which there is no more, and she has the last one. Lois initially wanted the cake and Reese says he'll just keep talking (with exposing her secret), Lois give him the cake to get him to stop talking. Later that night, Lois tells Hal to go back to Trey as it has an infection, promising they'll find the money somehow. Hal continues to refuse as he decided to make an appointment with Dr. Voorhees, the same doctor they took Dewey's hamster to before putting on his scream box.
Later, Dewey comes home angry, as he overslept and missed the concert of a famous pianist, Conrad Horner, that he'd been waiting years to see. Malcolm, being awoken by Dewey, tells him to stop complaining as Dewey will have another chance, to which Dewey quickly says "he's 98." Dewey then continues to complain he made it in time to grab a program and see him be carried off by an ambulance. Dewey then tries to convince Malcolm that sleeping is all they ever do anymore, and that Malcolm is jeopardizing his future since he's missing school to stay in bed, to which Malcolm does not care and claims his legacy will be left behind by the coil marks of where he slept. This is where Dewey decides they need to get rid of the bed but Malcolm drifts back off to sleep.
Hal continues to host a poker game at his house, his friends are very uncomfortable as he still can barely talk and denies that he is in pain. Even though Hal had a pair of two's, everyone else folded. Hal is surprised he is on a hot streak and has about $1000 in chips, he then gets suspicious and try to see everyone's hands. He notices Malik next to him actually had a flush and realizes they're letting him win to allow him to raise the money to pay for his tooth. Hal refuses to accept this and to be treated like a charity case. Trey, feeling guilty, offers to fix his tooth for free and that they can drive to his office to fix it up now. Hal, out of pride, refuses to alleviate Trey of his conscience and then proceeds to drink a glass of ice water to which shouts in pain as all his friends react in horror as Hal collapses. Reese tries one last time to get Lois to ride the bike, to which she successfully maintains her balance but rides slowly. In order to ensure there's nothing to be afraid of, Reese rides his bike fast coming towards her direction to crash into her, so she can conquer her fear of falling. While Lois falls onto the grass and successfully declares she is no longer afraid, this backfires on Reese as he instead falls on his crotch onto his handlebars, being left by Lois on the ground in pain.
Later, Malcolm wakes up to find he is no longer sleeping on the mattress, Dewey enters and was asked where it is. Dewey denies there was was ever a mattress and Malcolm was clearly dreaming since he was happy. The poker buddies are found pulled over by a police officer which Hal tied up in the back. The officer questions them, to which they explain Hal's refusal to get his tooth fixed and they had to tie him up. Despite what it looks like, the officer believes them and sends them away to drive safely, much to Hal's dismay.
Cast[]
- Jane Kaczmarek as Lois
- Bryan Cranston as Hal
- Christopher Masterson as Francis (credit only)
- Justin Berfield as Reese
- Erik Per Sullivan as Dewey
- Frankie Muniz as Malcolm
Guest Stars[]
Recurring[]
- Gary Anthony Williams as Abe
- Dan Martin as Malik
- Alex Morris as Trey
- Edward James Gage as Brian
- Jonathan C. Williams as Steve
- James and Lukas Rodriguez as Jamie (uncredited)
Cameos[]
- Paul Rae as Cop
- Michaela Watkins as Receptionist
- Scott Director as Customer
- Danny Chambers as Man at Alley
Trivia[]
- When Lois informs Hal about his infection, Hal says he will visit a doctor named Dr. Voorhees. This may be a reference to co-producer Don Voorhies, or to horror icon Jason Voorhees.
- Reese finds Lois trying to ride a bicycle here.
- Jane Kaczmarek stated in an interview that the scene where Lois pushes Reese's face near broken glass (as a threat not to tell anyone she couldn't ride a bike) marked the only time she questioned Lois's parenting methods.
- In this episode, Dewey and Malcolm have swapped sides of the bed. Traditionally, Malcolm sleeps further from the door and closer to Reese's bed, but in this episode Dewey sleeps in this spot and Malcolm sleeps in Dewey's traditional spot.
- The final appearance of Hal's poker buddies (Malik, Trey, Brian, and Steve) and as a group too.