Living Will is the twelfth episode of season six of Malcolm in the Middle.
Plot[]
As executor of a neighbor's living will, Hal must decide to keep him on life support or pull the plug. Meanwhile, Craig asks the boys for help in fighting his estranged father to avoid having to take over his chain of successful gyms.
Summary[]
In the cold opening, Hal and Lois sit by the fireplace and look at x-rays of times the boys' swallowed things. Including, Reese’s fifth birthday and Christmas the same year where he stuck a candy cane up his nose, Malcolm swallowing a toy truck on his first day of school and Dewey swallowing Hal’s watch after getting lost at a flea market. Hal says that his watch still keeps great time. Lois asks if he wants to go through the arrest reports and Hal agrees to pour them some more wine.
At breakfast, Hal finds it difficult to choose between raisin bran or oatmeal. He debates between the two options but after being unable to make a choice Lois decides he's going to have raisin bran, which he's happy with. She then asks Hal why he always had a hard time with decisions. This problem stems from Hal's childhood, which he explains from flashback. His mother is asking him whether he wants a petting zoo or a clown for his birthday party. Hal requests both and then witnesses a snake constricting around the clown's throat. Since then, he's been afraid of making decisions on his own because he believes he will always make the wrong choices and will have to live with the consequences of it. Thus, Hal reveals that he always deferred to Lois and lets her make the decisions for him. To him, it's easier since she is assertive and knows how to make choices.
Craig drops by the house to pick up Lois, who thanks him for offering her a ride to work. Craig says it’s his pleasure and realizes he hasn’t seen the boys in a while and decides to drop in and say an innocent hello before they leave. Craig comes into the boy's room and loudly suggests having a giant tickle fight before closing the door. He tells them that was just a cover to avoid alarming their parents. Malcolm asks what’s going on and Craig explains that he needs them to teach him how to fight. He's being bullied and needs some lessons in dirty fighting and admits that their family is legendary for it. At first, Reese doesn't want to give away his best secrets because he’s concerned that Craig will teach the methods he learned to other people until eventually he’ll be in a fair fight. Dewey apologizes, but Craig wonders what he’ll do and starts to cry because he thought they were his friends and it’s why he came to them in his hour of need desperate for help. They agree to help him if he stops crying and warn him that he needs to be fully committed to learn. Reese adds that once he starts training with them, he’s going to start seeing the world differently with Dewey adding that afterwards there will be nothing they can ever do to restore his innocence. Craig thanks them but Reese warns him that if he hugs him, the lesson starts immediately.
Hal gets a visit from a lawyer named Peter Rubin with amazing news. Hal, used to the routine by now, decides to tell Peter what he tells all the other lawyers to look around and that his house has been picked clean, but he can feel free to sue away. Peter informs him that isn’t why he’s there. At the kitchen table, Peter informs Hal that Jim Edelman, who lives down the street, has appointed Hal as executor of his living will. Hal states that he barely knew him and wonders why he would allow him power of attorney. Peter explains that there are some difficult family issues, and all the other neighbors are friends. Hal's the only who can be impartial. Hal questions if he has to decide how all his belongings get divided, but Peter informs him that Mr. Edelman is in a coma, and Hal has to decide whether to pull the plug or not.
That night he discusses the severity with Lois and how it’s not simple like paper or plastic but life or death. Lois tells him that panicking isn’t going to help. Hal blames Lois for his indecisiveness and is completely unprepared for this since he hasn’t made a decision in years. Hal wonders how it got to this until Lois reminds him it started when he told her “Lois, I want you to make all the decisions in our marriage.” Hal absolves that she didn’t have to listen to him and his mind is racing unable to eat or sleep. Lois absolves to make the decision for him, but Hal refuses since he was given the responsibility and cannot simply shrug it off. He believes he can do it if he focuses his mind. At first, he seemingly comes up to a decision until he asks Lois to guess what it is, Lois realizes he hasn’t made up his mind and he agrees to keep trying.
In the backyard, Reese welcomes Craig to the first day of his new vicious lifestyle. He begins by showing him a model of the human body separated into three major theatres of operation: the head (a watermelon with eggs for eyes), the torso (a trash bag filled with deli meats), and two plums in a bag (the testicles). He falls for all of their tricks and collapses crying. Dewey realizes this isn’t working and Reese claims they should just kick him in the kidneys and call it a day. But Craig begs them not to quit on him and although he sucks, he can buckle down if given the opportunity. Then Malcolm suggests that he should use his anger for the bully by imagining every bully’s look of satisfaction as they pounded him and to imagine what they were looking at. The transformation in Craig is remarkable and he tears sausage links out of the torso, breaks the salami arms and smashes the watermelon he grabs a baseball bat. Malcolm realizes he is going after the plums, and after seeing his treatment of the plums, Reese claims at least he won’t ever have to worry about the bully’s children coming back to avenge him.
Hal visits Mr. Edelman is in the hospital and sees how different family members want him to do different things. It makes his decision more difficult. When the nurse comes in with extra pudding, Hal immediately screams and runs out of the room hysterically.
Craig has arranged to meet his bully in the backyard of Malcolm, Reese, and Dewey. Malcolm informs him that they set up a few hidden weapons to protect himself if he runs into trouble. Dewey explains that a broken bottle is hidden in a leaf pile and a can of bug spray is hidden under the Big Wheel and even if he runs out the can still serves as a great blunt object. Reese assures Craig that they’re there for him unless he looks like he’s getting a total beating, in that case he may have to take his side. Craig assures him that he hates the jerk more than anyone else on Earth and that he is finally going to get what he rightfully deserves. To their surprise, the pest is none other than his father, Vic Feldspar, a fitness guru. He introduces himself to the boys as Craig‘s father, but Craig reminds him that he pretended not to know him at a father son picnic. To which Vic claims he wasn’t swelling with pride watching him suck the butter off of other people‘s corn cobs. He’s there because he wants Craig to take over his chain of gymnasiums. Craig's refusal is the cause of all the fighting. He mentions that he can't stand the constant humiliation from his father. Vic claims he needs to start his 30-mile run which should give him two hours and sixteen minutes to calm down. He tells him to meet him at Applebee’s and they can discuss the matter like grown-ups. Craig agrees to come, but only for the great service and atmosphere, not for him.
Dewey comes into the kitchen and sees Hal trying to solve his problem by building a decision tree, filling the kitchen with paper. When Dewey questions it, Hal says he is making branches of all the possible outcomes so he can get it out of his head to see what he’s dealing with logically. Dewey questions one outcome where “Pulling plug causes feeling of Godlike power. Forced to kill again.” Hal says he wants to cover everything and believes that he’s narrowed it down enough until Dewey figures out that pulling the plug doesn't necessarily mean that Jim will die, as he could continue to live without his respirator while his body wastes away while he struggles for breath like a fish on a dock gasping for air. Upon hearing this Hal realizes that he has to start all over again and sarcastically thanks Dewey claiming that he already doesn’t get enough know-it-all stuff from Malcolm as he tears down his decision tree.
That night, Hal and Lois invite Craig and his father over for dinner. Again, they notice how often Vic Feldspar expresses his disappointment in Craig. Craig shows his disappointment with his dad for coming back in his life, even when he told him to stay out of it.
When the doctors demand that Hal makes a decision because they need the hospital room, something strange happens to Hal. He suffers from psychosomatic paralysis (Hysterical Conversion Disorder). The top part of his body is paralyzed, making it impossible for him to speak. Hence, this forces Lois to pick Hal up from the hospital. After bringing him home, she tells the boys about the doctor's assessment and that he may be like this for a while. Malcolm, Reese, and Dewey are concerned about his condition. When Hal begins to squirm from the stress, Lois gently taps his head to calm him down. Dewey mentions that his right foot petting her left leg is his way of thanking her.
The next day at Lucky Aide, Craig demands that Vic leave him alone because he has already said no countless times at Applebee’s, Malcolm’s house and all the way home as he jogged alongside his car. He mentioned that he likes his life as it is, and his father's appearance is stressing him out. Craig also thinks Vic is ruining things for him by trying to force himself back into his life. His father tries a last strategy to convince Craig. He gives him an old childhood toy he called his “Unk-Unk” and tells him his late mother was also a fitness freak, and she would be equally as embarrassed by her son's physical condition, and it was her dying wish for him to stay healthy. Craig agrees to join his father's business and asks if the jumpsuits come in extra-large. Malcolm sees past Vic's lies and decides to use it against him.
After a few days, Lois gets fed up believing Hal is taking the easy way out by pretending to suffer from Hysterical Conversion Disorder to avoid making this decision on Mr. Edelman. She points out that the neighbors are getting concerned with his strange behavior, and he needs to make a decision now. Hal still refuses and continues to be paralyzed.
The next day, Lois comes home and finds Hal in Jamie’s crib where he is hitting his father with a toy hammer. Lois asks Reese how he could just leave him in there. Reese defends that every time he tried to take his dad out of the crib, Jamie started crying. She takes him out and immediately Jamie cries but Lois silences him with a glare. She then orders Reese to take him out for a walk. After they leave, Lois decides enough is enough and he is going to stop being paralyzed. She tells Hal that he is very good at making decisions. The only reason he acts like he is not because of his fears that he will make the wrong choice and that she understands his fears very well. Lois reminded Hal that he did make a very difficult decision once back in their youth: he decided to marry her against everybody else's wishes. She mentioned that their friends and families were against the choice because they all thought her sister, Susan, was the better choice of wife for him. To them, she was high class and talented, who would've helped him along in his career choice. However, Lois knew Hal saw something in her that he never saw in her sister. He finally snaps out of it and returns to normal. Hal admitted it was a no brainier to him. He mentioned that both his family and Lois's own parents thought he was insane for choosing her over Susan. However, Hal knew that deep down marrying her sister would've been a big mistake on his part because he would've missed out on the only woman who understood him much better than anyone else. Lois knew she was that woman who understood him the best. Hal knows that he now has the confidence he needs to make the choice.
Vic and Craig get ready to leave when Malcolm notices a picture of Craig's mother in Vic's luggage. He presents it to Craig, revealing his mother was apparently a rather obese woman. He can't understand where the photograph comes from as he thought all photos of her were destroyed in the twister that took her life. Vic finally admits that she didn't die from the twister and fabricated the story to hide his own pain along with discouraging Craig from trying to find her. He mentioned that Craig's mother had been unhappy in their marriage and was having an affair with the baker from the pie shop. When Vic found out about it, he demanded she stop seeing the baker and remain in the marriage with him. She refused by divorcing him and continuing her to affair her lover by running off with him. A few days later, Vic also revealed that his mother returned and sued him for full custody of Craig because she felt like he deserved better than to stay with a man who would force him to run his successful gyms when he's older. He mentioned that she lost her case as the judge ruled against her for the affair with the baker. The terms stipulated that either his mother gives up her lover and returns to the marriage with Vic, or she never sees Craig again. She reluctantly gave up her rights to stay with the baker as she was unhappy in her marriage to him. Craig feels betrayed after realizing that his mother cared about him to try and gain custody of him so he can live his own life as he chooses. He tells Vic off that he's a horrible father to him for lying to him about her and realizes he was only berating him as a way to punish his unfaithful ex-wife. Craig has decided to stay in his present life as he states to Vic that his life isn’t a mess and he loves everything about it: his job, his cat and his friends and he has made something of himself. Informing him that he is desk sergeant at his Neighborhood Watch and a fourteenth level elf cleric, which he refuses to throw away. Although upset with his son's choice to say in his present life, Vic finally respects Craig's decision for finally sounding like a man standing up for himself and admires his firm grip, Craig says it’s his joystick hand.
In the final scene, Lois congratulates Hal on the decision he made regarding Mr. Edelman. It was a stroke of genius. Once he knew Edelman was a bird lover, Hal said it was easy. And he got everything from Radio Shack, except for the hat. What Hal did is not revealed.
Cast[]
- Jane Kaczmarek as Lois
- Bryan Cranston as Hal
- Christopher Masterson as Francis (credit only)
- Justin Berfield as Reese
- Erik Per Sullivan as Dewey
- Frankie Muniz as Malcolm
Guest Stars[]
Recurring[]
- David Anthony Higgins as Craig Feldspar
- James and Lukas Rodriguez as Jamie
Cameos[]
- Tom Kopache as Vic Feldspar
- John Ducey as Peter Rubin
- Michael McShane as Dr. Phelps
- Elyse Murto as Sharon Wilkerson
- Dean Bates as young Hal
- Kerry Carney as a nurse
- Michelle Spears as Tracy
- Steve Sheridan as Nick
Quotes[]
- [Lois has just picked up a paralyzed Hal from the hospital and brought him home concerning the boys.]
- Malcolm: What's wrong with him?
- Lois: The doctors call it Hysterical Conversion Disorder. It's psychosomatic. Apparently, he's paralyzed from the waist up.
- Malcolm: The waist up?!
- [Lois is frustrated as Hal moves around, clearly in distress]
- Reese: Dad, what is it?
- [Lois taps his head, and he immediately calms down. He begins petting her leg with his foot.]
- Dewey: I think he's thanking you.
- [Hal continues pretending to have Hysterical Conversion Disorder as he continues using his feet and rips off sheets of toilet paper]
- Lois: It's been four days, Hal. I tried to be patient, but this has gone one long enough. You have to snap out of it. Look, I admit you've been resourceful, and you've learned to do so many things. And the sex has been interesting.
- [She walks in as Hal is now using his feet to put toothpaste on his to his toothbrush]
- Lois: But you can't go on living like this. Don't think I don't know what this is all about. You're trying to avoid making this decision. This isn't going to work, and frankly, this is beneath you. It's the coward's way out, Hal. You don't think I don't like a paralyzed vacation. Everyone is waiting on my hand and foot. You know what? It doesn't work that way. You can't keep making up ridiculous illnesses to get out of what you don't want to do.
- [sees Hal pulling out a long thread of dental floss to floss his teeth]
- Lois: Oh, for God's sake. Do you have any idea how insane you're acting? I'm just glad your boys aren't here to see this.
- [sees Hal raise his feet to floss his teeth]'
- Lois: Oh, Hal, you changed Jamie's diapers with those feet.
- [she leaves disgusted]
Trivia[]
- Craig's family is explored, introducing us to his father, Vic Feldspar, and his unnamed mother.
- It's also revealed that his mother is alive and had an affair with the baker from the pie shop. Vic was apparently upset by this because she divorced him without warning.
- It was also revealed that Craig's mother had apparently hated Vic because of his selfish behavior in bullying and trying to force him to take over his gyms, which she thinks is unfair on his part. Hence, she sued for full custody of him and lost.
- As Craig never knew his mom in his life, his infatuation with Lois was because he desperately wanted to experience having a mother for once in his life. Despite being an overbearing control freak, he thinks she can fill that role as a mother figure.
- Craig believing his mother died when he was a child and never knowing she is still alive until this episode is a retcon. In the episode Monkey, he states his cat, Jellybean, was staying at his mother's house while he is recovering from his injuries.
- Hal says that he is afraid of clowns and snakes but does not know why. Through a flashback, we find out it is due to the fact that at one of his birthday parties, a clown was being strangled by a snake.
- This episode also reveals why Hal had a hard time making decisions on his own and often deferred to Lois in making them. Due to his own fears that he will always choose wrong, Hal prefers to avoid making decisions on his own. Due to his belief in Lois, he feels that she is more capable of making decisions on her own
- It was mentioned that Hal's family, Victor, and Ida disapproved of him marry Lois mainly because of Susan.
- This was also the first time that Hal and Lois's own friends were included in the disapproval.
- Hal was originally going to confess that he didn't regret marrying Lois against their families wishes because, unlike Susan, she was the only woman who understood him better. This was dropped to reduce screen time.
- Craig says he is a level 14 Elf Cleric. This is most likely a reference to the very popular fantasy adventure role playing game Dungeons and Dragons. D&D was created by the legendary Gary Gygax and is now in its global 5th edition. It has spawned countless games (both pen and paper and computer) and books, a cartoon, and two movies. It is extremely popular among the 'nerdy' sci-fi fanatics, of which Craig is a fine example.
- In Forwards Backward, Bob (one of Dean's friends) mentions that Craig is a level 45 Dungeon Master. This is erroneous, as Dungeon Masters do not have levels.
- Sharon Wilkerson, Hal's mother, makes her first on-screen appearance in this episode, though she's only seen in a brief flashback.
- The lawyer is conveniently interrupted before he can say Hal's last name - maintaining the series rule of never saying it.
- Malcolm does not aside in this episode.
- Craig mentions having a cat, despite it being killed off earlier in the series. It is unknown if this is Jellybean from earlier in the series or if Craig got another cat.
- This episode aired on the same day as the death of Pete’s actor Sandy Ward.
- Kim Cattrall was rumored to make an appearance as Craig's mom. Malcolm brings her over to his apartment to warn him not to go with Vic, explaining why she left and how she regretted not taking him with her to live with the baker. This was also dropped to reduce screen time, and she was just seen in a photo played by David Anthony Higgins in drag.
- Irony: When Craig destroys the plums, Reese states they wouldn’t have to worry about the bully’s children coming back to avenge him. But ironically Craig’s bully is his own father, so he is the child of the bully.