Lois' Birthday is the third episode of Season 2 of Malcolm in the Middle and the nineteenth episode overall of the show.
Plot[]
When Lois discovers how little her family thinks of her with Malcolm, Reese and Dewey spending money for themselves and Hal completely forgetting her birthday, she runs away from home. Francis finds out about this and doesn't hesitate to discipline his brothers for their selfishness.
Summary[]
Reese, Malcolm and Dewey walk down the sidewalk and Malcolm explains all the good things about weekends like no school and cartoons but the best thing about it is their elderly neighbor like old Mrs. Jensen. They take advantage of her by making her think it's Halloween. They then start changing into winter coats and hats, Malcolm claims condemning them is an appropriate response but if it wasn’t for them Mrs. Jensen would have no human interaction whatsoever. They ring the doorbell once more and tell Mrs. Jensen they finished shoveling the snow off her walkway. She sees they did an excellent job and goes to get her purse. Malcolm claims that now they can be condemned.
At Lucky Aide, Lois takes the boys there to buy her a present. Lois yells at Reese for getting his hand stuck in the prize machine and having to use a quarter to get it free. He pulls out a toy that he's happy with. Lois tells the boys that she's going to give them $10 each to buy her a present, Malcolm tells the audience it's quite a shocker because in her past birthdays, they’ve always just made her homemade gifts. A Flashback occurs with Reese making her a “potato bank” with a nickel in it. Lois tells them they can each buy her something or they can combine their money and give her something together. She gestures towards a foot spa that she wants that’s only 25 dollars. The boys leave to get her presents. Craig appears and asks Lois why she's at the store on her birthday and pretending to forget it. This is because he is planning a surprise birthday present for her upon overhearing what she wanted. The PA system comes on and calls Craig to Aisle 7. He feigns that it seems like any other day since he is always hitting the gym working on his guns and when he’s not doing that he’s preoccupied with his position as the costumer for the Dixieland jazz group. The PA announcer tells Craig he can see him as he heads off to Aisle 7.
Meanwhile, Francis comes home to celebrate his mom's birthday on a bus of students from Mozambique where he is talking to a girl how he doesn't understand that her class came to America just to see places of historical accuracy, another girl named Amaani interjects and informs Francis that he is wasting his time talking to her classmate because she doesn't speak or understand English which she thinks is good for her because she can't understand all the crap he is saying and if she did, she’d laugh in his face. But she however finds his desperation charming. Intrigued, Francis convinces Amaani to attend a party with him after making a brief appearance at his mom's house for her birthday before going to Richie's house for his usual keg party.
At Lucky Aide, Lois's meager hopes for a happy birthday are dashed when Reese, Malcolm and Dewey spend the money she'd given them to buy her a present mostly on themselves. They buy her an eyeglass repair kit, throat lozenges and a dirt bike magazine, which Reese wants to thumb through afterwards. She questions if the items they bought cost 30 dollars, Malcolm claims it was only around eight and the store is awesome for its low prices. Dewey asks if he can have some candy, but Reese tells him to be relax since they bought 20 bucks worth of candy before racing back to the car, leaving a shocked and disheveled Lois lagging behind.
As they arrive back home, Reese asks what’s for dinner. Lois apathetically suggests having some of the candy they bought before retreating to her bedroom. As Reese and Dewey go into the living room Malcolm notices his mother looking upset. He asks his brothers if they noticed her mood and thinks she might be upset about something and considers checking on her but quickly forgets about it because Skinny Fonzie is on TV and joins them on the couch.
Francis and Amaani leave the bus by disguising a slovenly man as Amaani by giving him her uniform jacket. He takes her to his house asking her if she can feel the authenticity of it, unlike the plastic national parks she was originally going to see. Amaani tells him to relax since they’re already off the bus. Francis tells her his plan: to go inside make a polite appearance at his mom's birthday, have some cake with her, drop off his laundry them they leave for Richie’s party. He proceeds to tell Amaani how astonishingly beautiful she is, and she tells him she has had 15 marriage proposals, which is exactly why the general sent her on the trip to keep her out of trouble. They immediately begin making out and upon seeing his dad's car pull into the driveway, Francis sneaks them behind a nearby hedge.
After getting home, Hal tries to comfort Lois who tells him that she's upset with the boys, Hal assures her not to worry because they'll be out of the house in ten years and asks what they did to upset her. She explains how she gave them 30 dollars to buy her a present and they spent it all on themselves not even caring that it’s her birthday. Hal realizes that he forgot that it was her birthday and feigns being furious at the boys for being so thoughtless and tells her he’ll give them a good talking to and he might take a drive afterwards before leaving the master bedroom. Hal expresses his frustration and thought he programmed his watch's alarm, which goes off at the wrong time to remind him of her birthday and it as supposed to be 5:25 AM. Hal is frustrated over how it broke down on him and made him unintentionally forget her birthday. He tries to cover it up by loudly reprimand the boys, while whispering that they both messed up. When Hal accidentally confesses that he forgot Lois's birthday he slams his head down on the coffee table in frustration.
The doorbell rings and Hal angrily gets up to answer it. Craig comes to the door to surprise Lois with an expensive present that he bought for her. Hal sees it and says he’ll take it into her, but after Craig sees him creepily rubbing it he realizes that Hal has a motive to steal his present and pass it off as his own, he changes his mind and says he’ll just give it to her at work tomorrow. This leads to the two of them getting into a tug of war with the present, Craig calls out to Lois that Hal is attempting to steal his present which is a bread maker he paid 129 dollars for. Lois comes out of her room and stoically walks out the front door. Hal, Craig and the boys follow her and ask where she is going. She tells them she is going “Wherever I want”. When Hal asks when she’ll be back, Lois tells Hal off that she’ll come home whenever “someone in this family gives a damn” and the family apologize to her for being so insensitive and ignoring her on her birthday. At her wit’s end, she runs away from home. As she drives off she stops to kick Francis and Amaani out of the car after finding them making out in the backseat before leaving. As she leaves Francis wishes her a happy birthday, despite the awkwardness of the situation.
In the house, Amaani is trying to watch a kung-fu movie on TV. Malcolm realizes how bad things are since Lois has never taken off before, with Reese emphasizing how it’s usually her throwing them out. Hal is furious at the boys and tries to discipline them for buying candy instead of a present and making Lois run away. However, he's unable to do so because he also knew he screwed up too. Being unable to come up with a proper punishment, a frustrated Hal goes out to the backyard to cool down. An unconcerned Reese asks what's wrong with him. He soon regrets it when Francis points out that he's not the only one pissed at them since he had planned his birthday surprise for Lois to see him as her birthday present so that he could be the good child for once in his life. But now he going to have to do his plans with Lois in a terrible mood since in her mind they’re all thoughtless jerks thanks to them. Reese asks for an explanation and Francis calls them out for ruining everything by selfishly buying candy for themselves instead of a present for her. He tries to help them feel empathetic about it by putting themselves in her position to no avail. Malcolm tries to explain that they never made a big deal of their moms birthday in the past and besides he claimed that she would be happy with whatever present they got her. Francis is unconvinced and asks if Lois looked like she was happy. Malcolm, and Dewey realize how hurt Lois was with them and Malcolm realizes how much they suck. Reese is still confused until Francis punches him in the shoulder and tells him that the pain he’s feeling in his shoulder is how his mom feels on the inside. They ask for Francis' advice in fixing the mess, but he tells them that since it was their own fault they need to figure out the solution on their own. He’s got his own plans to go to Richie's keg party, party with his friends and make out with an African goddess before returning her to her class and he goes back to Marlin Academy. After Francis and Amaani leave, Reese says that Lois set them up and she never should’ve taken them to a store that sells candy, but Malcolm quickly shuts him up. Malcolm admits that they blew it by making their own mom run away from home. Dewey wonders where she could be.
Lois decides to go to a batting cage at a local amusement park to take out her frustrations on hitting baseballs. A young boy asks her if she is going to hog the cage all day, Lois informs him that she’s a grown-up with a credit card and no curfew and she can stay there all week if she wants to. He says that him and the other kids want to hit too and ask her when she’ll be done. Lois agrees to get out of the cage if they give her back the last 15 years of her life. Asking them if they can reverse time and take her back to when she was 23 so she can stay single, go to music school and become a concert violinist. Knowing that they can’t she decides to keep on hitting, the boy calls her out that it’s unfair and she can’t just stay in there because she’s crazy. Lois says if he wants to see crazy she’ll show him crazy before rattling the bat against the cage to scare them off.
While out driving, Amaani hopes Richie has a place where they can be alone together. Francis tries to forget his problems and enjoy himself with Amaani but she knows something is wrong and asks him to tell her. He finally admits that his birthday surprise for Lois went south thanks to his own brothers in messing everything up. Amaani tells him that talking about your mother so much isn’t considered a turn on, which he agrees with.
At home, Dewey asks Malcolm if their mom will ever come home, Malcolm comforts his little brother and puts his arm around him assuring him that she’ll be back. Reese tries to come up with other women for Hal to date now that their mom’s gone, Malcolm informs him that their mom will come back. Reese tells Malcolm that if he wants to live in denial it’s fine with him but he’s trying to stop their dad from making the same mistake twice and it’s called being proactive. Malcolm questions why he put Mrs. Larson on the list, he says it’s because she can cook and her daughters are nymphos.
Back on the road, Francis continues to rant about Lois, annoying Amaani. Francis apologizes and promises he’ll focus on getting to the party, which becomes harder after Hal sends out a request on the radio for Lois to come home and if she does he’ll give her “that sweet monkey love” disgusted he changes the station. As they head further, Francis sees her at the batting cages and is more concerned for her raising the question of why he’s surprised by anything she does. He tries to ignore her and tells Amaani they’re going to the party end of story. He attempts to drive away but can’t bring himself to do so, much to his own frustration and turns the car around to retrieve his father and brothers.
Hal and the boys arrive at the batting cage and Malcolm is amazed that Lois is crushing the ball and wonders why she never taught them to play baseball. Hal claims it’s because there’s more to hitting than making contact. A boy named Timmy is celebrating his birthday at the batting cages and Hal comes over and asks Timmy’s father if they can negotiate a deal. They throw together a makeshift party for Lois by tweaking Timmy’s cake to say “LOIS” and sing happy birthday to her.
Lois isn’t impressed by their mediocre celebration and questions what they’re doing. Hal says they’re celebrating her birthday as a family. The boys apologize to her for neglecting her on her birthday, apart from Francis who verifies that he’s innocent in this case. Hal asks Lois to please come home and wonders what they have to do. She tells them that she doesn’t wants to be taken for granted anymore and if they want her to come home a lot of things have to change. Most importantly: she never wants to remind her own family it’s her birthday ever again. Hal apologizes, and they all agree it will never happen again. She also brings up another few issues including: once a week not having to fix dinner and dirty laundry to go in the hamper instead of on the floor, over a lamp or shoved in a mattress crack. Hal and the boys easily agree, but Lois says if it’s that easy why she even has to ask them. Hal responds honestly by informing Lois that those things are never going to happen. He states that he and the boys aren't smart enough to know better and she may as well be asking them to be a foot taller. Hal says that she’s always going to have to tell them what to do and brings up the mediocre celebration they put together, and how it is them at the top of their game. The only thing they can offer her is their total, abject obedience, which he admits doesn’t sound like much, but the silver lining is that their meagre abilities are hers completely.
The lead clown tells Lois off that her family is just trying to do something nice for her and she might as well give them a break. In doing so he calls her “wide ride” (slang for having overly wide hips). Hal is offended by this and doesn't hesitate in retaliating by calling the lead clown out for insulting her. When the clown assumes he's just putting on a macho show for Lois's benefit, Hal punches him to the floor. He then tells the clown to get up and apologize but he punches Hal back. The two begin a fistfight, and this kicks off a massive brawl between the boys and the other clowns. Francis tells Amaani that he has to fight too and asks if she’ll be there waiting for him. Amaani says no and upon seeing how dedicated he is to putting his family first she kisses her hand to his lips before leaving.
Francis then joins his father and brothers in defending Lois’s honor by beating up the clowns for insulting her. Despite the chaos going on around her, after Lois sees the lengths her family would go to defend her makes Lois realize how much they truly care.
Cast[]
- Jane Kaczmarek as Lois
- Bryan Cranston as Hal
- Christopher Kennedy Masterson as Francis
- Justin Berfield as Reese
- Erik Per Sullivan as Dewey
- Frankie Muniz as Malcolm
Guest Stars[]
Recurring[]
- David Anthony Higgins as Craig
Cameos[]
- Blair Wingo as Amaani
- Patricia Place as Mrs. Jensen
- Patti Lewis as Tour Guide
- Keith Alexander as Lead Clown
- Robert Briscoe Evans as Timmy's father
- Sean Marquette as Timmy
- Brian J Williams as Clown #2
Trivia[]
- Lois turns 38 in the episode. Hal thinks she’s only 36, however as stated in the season 6 episode Stilts.
- Hal says Homer Simpson's famous catchphrase, saying "D'oh", when he accidentally forgot Lois's birthday.
- He also mentions that Lois’s birthday is on the 12th but does not specify which month.
- When Francis chats up girls in the bus, they drive down Lankershim Blvd up to Erwin St.[1]
- Although the batting cage was located elsewhere, Francis stops on 11706 Moorpark St, Studio City, CA 91604 when he spots her.[1]
- The foot massager Lois wishes for was a real product made by Conair. It's the Conair Body Benefits Ultra Massaging Foot Spa.
- The song played when Lois is at the batting cage is "Behind Every Good Woman" by Tracy Bonham.
- When Hal punches the lead clown if watched closely an extra can be seen catching the cake that the clown was holding.
Error[]
- When Reese is making a list of women for Hal to "look into", the list grows from a half page to 3/4 of the page between shots.