Malcolm Dates a Family is the fourteenth episode of Season 5 and the 99th episode overall of Malcolm in the Middle. It aired on March 14, 2004.
Synopsis[]
Lois gets incredibly angry because they charged 15% more to their bill at their favorite pizza restaurant. Meanwhile, Malcolm started to date a girl, Angela. She tells him that her family is strange and usually hates her boyfriends; however Malcolm's intelligence fascinates them. He ends up going to see Angela's family, but he forgets about her in the end.
Plot[]
In the cold opening, Reese and Dewey accidentally break the kitchen window with a baseball. However Reese comes up with a surprisingly clever plan. They replace the ball with a rock with a fake note from the neighbors telling them "Get out of our neighborhood, we hate your guts." Hal and Lois find it and go through a long list of neighbors who despise them. Lois knows it’s the Hackett's revenge for their dead cat, they both get in the car to give them a taste of their own medicine while Reese and Dewey look at each other worried.
The episode opens with the family at Luigi's, their favorite pizza restaurant. Malcolm explains that they go to Luigi's every second Thursday of the month and mentions that they are the only two nights a month he doesn't cry himself to sleep. As Reese and Dewey sword fight with breadsticks Lois informs them that she gets to duel with the winner. Malcolm states that every fourteen days they magically transform into a happy family since the taste of their deluxe pizza is so good it not only brings out the goodwill buried deep inside of people but creates momentary goodwill that isn’t even there. Lois asks about everybody’s day and Dewey tells her he got a B on his math test, impressing her.
Hal thanks the host Alfredo for another exquisite culinary experience before unbuttoning his pants and letting out his gut disturbing a female customer, Hal says it’s doctors orders. After giving them a tip, Lois notices a SV on their receipt. Alfredo informs her it is for the service charge that they add 15% for the service charge which was added after several people began stiffing the waiters and they’ve been doing it for years. Lois is off put that they force people to tip without telling them since they’ve been double tipping without realizing it. Alfredo states they have a sign on the register that informs it but Lois is further upset upon seeing how small and insignificant it is. Reese looks worried and asks Malcolm if it’s going to be shoe store bad or circus bad, Malcolm believes it’s going to be ten items or less aisle bad. Hal attempts to make an excuse that their car is on fire and he hears sirens but Lois ignores him since her anger is on Alfredo for putting up a sign no one can read and that gives them the right to steal. She angrily demands to see the manager as Hal and the boys sigh in disappointment. Dewey gets a drink and tells another employee named Manolo that he probably won’t see him for a while and apologizes to him in Spanish.
At school the next day, Malcolm tells Stevie how after her outburst, Lois stood out in the parking lot for half an hour waving cars away, which he found unbelievable. Stevie mentions that Kitty called him on his birthday drunk and wanting money. Malcolm reassures him that what Kitty did to him was awful but his friends will never abandon him, he then sees a cute girl named Angela Pozefsky walking by and jumps up to talk to her. Malcolm states that no one ever asks Angela out assuming because she is promiscuous. Angela knows Malcolm wants to ask her to the upcoming spring dance, but informs him her family would have to meet him and they are ridiculously overbearing and constantly meddle in her social life and she has to get back to dying alone. Malcolm assures her she's talking to the right person, she agrees.
At the Grotto, Otto introduces Francis to a man named Jordan, who he has hired to be Francis' personal assistant, Francis is unsure but Otto reassures him to give Jordan a chance since he needs a job and he’s already filled all the other positions three times over, Francis agrees. Otto is aware of his problem of hiring too many people and that he’s seeing three psychiatrists about it, proving Francis’ point.
Two weeks later after missing their second monthly Luigi's pizza the boys are beginning to forget its taste. Reese tells Dewey he shouldn't have brushed his teeth. The phone rings and Hal answers, he announces the boys to get their coats because the owner of Luigi's is calling to apologize to Lois and that the pizza gods have answered their prayers. Lois answers the phone, where the owner Lawrence Cabrici apologizes sincerely after how she was treated. Lois asks him several questions but after asking him for a refund, Hal and the boys take off their coats and angrily sit down. Lawrence claims he can't afford to give them a refund but she claims that if he can afford a trip to Europe he can afford to pay 1/20th of that to pay back a valued customer they cheated. Hal claims there is no pizza god as Lois tells Lawrence that they are never eating a Luigi's pizza again, and hangs up the phone. She announces to the family that at least they have closure.
Angela brings Malcolm over to her house and reminds him that she tried to warn him. She introduces him to her large extended family including her parents, siblings, aunt, uncle, grandmother and cousins. They immediately put Malcolm on the spot by telling all of them about himself. He begins with some general knowledge about himself until Angela decides to hurry things up by saying Malcolm is the smartest kid in school by a lot. To Malcolm's surprise her parents Ivan and Maria understand his complex words about cosmological inflation and bring up scalar fields and welcome him in for dinner and claiming his medieval history knowledge will come in handy for a game later.
Back at the Grotto, Jordan does an excellent job as Francis' assistant by getting him tea with one sugar just how he likes and after Piama comes in inquiring about her mother’s thank you note for Christmas, Jordan informs them that yesterday he sent Piama's mother a thank you card with a pressed wildflower. Francis believes Piama owes Jordan an apology, Piama claims that Jordan is good.
At dinner the next Thursday night, Lois puts together a "Family Fiesta Night" with 4 kinds of enchiladas, steak and chicken tacos and a tray of empanadas and other Mexican cuisine. Malcolm comes in talking to Mr. Pozefsky over the phone and he agrees to come over again on Wednesday. The boys aren't impressed claiming she can dress up any food but it won't replace Luigi's. Clearly hurt from going to an effort for nothing she states that Mexican food goes in the trash before throwing the tray of enchiladas in the sink. Hal half heartedly says “Olé”.
The next night at the Pozefsky's house, Malcolm cracks everyone up while playing a guessing game using Copernicus, Marie Curie and Cher. He states that when they play it at his house they can only use cartoon characters they had seen that day. Aunt Layla brings in brownies with walnuts because they know they’re his favorites and Angela’s nana brings in a new hand knitted sweater for him. When Malcolm asks where Angela is Maria tells him that Angela went over to a girlfriends house an hour ago but he doesn't care because he is having more fun with her relatives.
Francis is on the phone with Lois who is informing him of the service charge added by Luigi's while Jordan feeds him crackers. She asks if he thinks she's doing the right thing protesting them. Francis claims she is making everyone else suffer for something only she cares about. Lois wonders why she even bothers talking to him, and if it would really kill him to say something supportive to her when she’s obviously right. Jordan tells Francis the perfect comeback to trump her statement. Francis tells Lois if she's so certain she was right she wouldn't be coming to him for reassurance, baffling her. After hanging up Jordan believes that they’ve put Lois in her place. Francis is pleased, but tells Jordan that they shouldn’t celebrate too early since his ears are feeling hairy again.
The next Thursday night, Hal, Dewey and Reese decide to take matters into their own hands and order Luigi's pizza before Lois comes home, giving them two hours to eat it and destroy the evidence by gorging themselves. Hal emphasizes that what they're doing is not okay and it is morally reprehensible on every level and they should be ashamed for betraying Lois' trust. Dewey and Reese are indifferent. Hal assures them they are all in this together, he asks where Malcolm is after Reese tells him Malcolm is over at his other family’s he simply says “More for us” and they immediately dig in. After gorging themselves they claim they are stuffed and Hal cannot even eat a breath mint, Reese claimed Dewey and himself forced theirs down easily enough. Lois then comes in with another kind of pizza after driving across town as a reward for them. She knows how difficult it has been for them going without Luigi’s and it means a lot that they’re sticking with her, they all immediately feel guilty for their untrustworthy actions. They are then forced to eat the pizza while already being stuffed and suffering from nausea.
At school the next day, Malcolm tells Stevie that he has never seen people get so passionate about the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum theory and thought nana would punch somebody and how much fun they had. Stevie tells him he watched his father torch his wedding album. Just then Malcolm is approached by a girl named Sarah who asks him to the dance he says yes and she’ll see him Friday. After she leaves he claims how great it is when the girl asks the boy out to Stevie until he realizes he now has two dates. He realizes how similar his situation is to almost every TV show claiming it to be an interesting challenge. Such as how Urkel from "Family Matters" did pretty well with the identical cousin trick until he got greedy and made himself a duke. But states that Potsie from "Happy Days" doesn't count since one of his dates turned out to be a man. Stevie tells him that he's got two girlfriends and he himself doesn't even have two lungs and to make a decision because people with his luck aren’t allowed to be creeps. Malcolm realizes Stevie is right and knows exactly what he has to do.
The following Thursday night, Hal gives Reese and Dewey instructions to ride their bikes down to Luigi's order the pizza and that they should hand it to them at 7:56 and then bring it back after he sends their mother to the mall at 7:50 giving them enough time to destroy the evidence before she gets back. Dewey claims that deceiving Lois is going to make sure they pay for their dishonesty but Reese states they won't be paying today. Hal admits that the whole conspiracy has made him feel closer to his boys, Dewey reminds him that Malcolm and Jamie didn't join them, but Hal says “They're not like us” before sending them off. After heading back inside, Lois comes in shaken by Francis’ statement and tells Hal she is done with her vendetta against Luigi's and decides she has made everyone else suffer enough resolving to go to Luigi's and do right by her family. In an attempt to cover up his conspiracy he feigns being on her side. Lois is grateful for him and the boys being supportive but thinks that enough is enough. Hal persists her to not go near Luigi's in the next hour and she needs to stay strong and fight the power. Realizing he is right, Lois decides to take his advice.
Malcolm goes back to the Pozefsky's and attempts to make a subtle explanation. But Angela beats him to it and announces to her family that they are breaking up, which she is fine with since they haven’t even talked to each other in two weeks. Malcolm tries to be respectful but ends up being patronizing before being asked to leave.
Francis stares at his toast waiting for Jordan to spread the butter on it for him. Piama tells him that although Jordan is amazing, his assistance has made Francis completely helpless. Francis reluctantly agrees but before he can tell him, Jordan already knows he's being fired and knows exactly what Francis was going to say and he has already written himself a letter of recommendation and sent himself a muffin basket as a consolation gift. Francis is impressed and him and Jordan share a firm handshake and part ways on good terms.
Lois gathers everyone in the living room except Malcolm who is at the dance with Sarah to inform them that she was ready to give up on her war with Luigi's until she was inspired by Hal's advice to fight the restaurant and called "Clyde on your Side" a local news company whom she persuaded to do an exposé on Luigi's. Clyde reports that an alert tipster informed them about the hidden 15% service charge and how it is hanging people out to dry. Clyde insists it is nothing against the Italian people and most employees are Americans. Clyde then says that some of the victims are senior citizens on a fixed income and local teens after a dance. Malcolm is amongst those teens and after realizing he is being televised he dives under the table spilling a drink on Sarah. Lois is shocked and Hal calls him out as a traitor for betraying their trust. Dewey wonders if Malcolm was aware of what she was fighting for, and Reese says Malcolm is a traitor for eating his pizza in the restaurant while the rest of them had to sneak theirs in through the garage. Lois is further shocked. Realizing what he just said, Reese thinks on impulse and concludes since it was Hal's idea to get Luigi's pizza behind Lois's back he should pay for it. Reese stands up and decides to use an excuse he was saving to avoid blame for desperate measures. He tells her that Hal does a five minute imitation of her on the toilet and if she's willing to deal he'll show her the video tape. Lois then stares angrily at Hal implying he is in trouble for both secrets.
Malcolm goes back to Angela's house to get back together with her but when he gets there he sees Stevie is now Angela's newest boyfriend and is enjoying time with her relatives. Angela's parents close the door in Malcolm's face.
Trivia[]
- Stevie mentions that his mom called him, drunk on his birthday, wanting money, continuing the events of Kitty leaving him in the episode Goodbye Kitty.
- Malcolm reveals his religious beliefs in this episode, classifying himself as a "hopeful agnostic".
- Stevie reveals that the reason for his asthma is because he was born with only one lung.
- This may very well be the first episode where Stevie gets a girlfriend.
- Angela is portrayed by actress Sara Paxton.
- When Dewey says goodbye to Manolo he says “Lo siento mucho” which translates to “I’m very sorry”.
- This episode premiered 2 days after Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London starring Frankie Muniz was released in theaters.