Malcolm Defends Reese is the ninth episode of Season 7 and the 138th episode overall of Malcolm in the Middle. It aired on December 16, 2005.
Synopsis[]
Reese is being publicly humiliated by Mr. Herkabe, which leads him to depression. Meanwhile, Dewey has a crush on another girl at his school and Lois deals with a chatty and clingy elderly babysitter.
Plot[]
In the cold opening, Reese makes a dummy and puts it in his bed in an attempt to sneak out, but Lois catches him and asks if he is trying to sneak out. Reese explains that he was only trying to get comfortable on his crappy bed. Lois says if that's true he won't mind if she stands in the doorway until she sees him go to sleep. Around 2:30 AM Reese sees that Lois is still there but is sure that she can't stay awake all night. Unbeknownst to him Lois has created her own dummy and left it in the doorway to prevent Reese from sneaking out.
Malcolm and Reese end up in the same class since Reese failed the previous year. Malcolm claims as if the situation wasn’t already bad enough, Mr. Herkabe has made Reese his personal whipping boy. He makes Reese write a historical timeline on the chalkboard. He then mocks Reese’s intelligence by his listing of the moon landing followed by the war of 1812 followed by the Lincoln-Kennedy shootout. The rest of the class laughs at him, and they all start chanting for him to do the monkey dance, which he does.
Meanwhile, Jamie's new babysitter, Claire, drives Lois crazy with her nonstop talking. She constantly vents to Lois about being bored and alone and not hearing from her kids. She also never stops talking about her chronic health issues including her shingles. Lois tolerates her, much to her annoyance, as she is good with Jamie. Through Hal's suggestion, Lois finally asks her to leave and finally snaps and fires her. However, Claire appears from the back door, thanking for being honest in expressing her hatred because they now know they have problems. She is willing to let Lois talk about them, much to her dismay.
Walking home from the park, Hal asks Dewey if he’s still upset with him. Dewey reminds his dad that he threw a baseball at his head. Hal defends it was a brushback pitch and that if he doesn’t defend the plate Dewey would be taking him down all day. They run into Dewey’s classmate; a girl named Gina. She asks if he did his vocab homework, he responds yes and that it wasn’t too hard, they exchange short answers with each other before parting ways. Hal asks Dewey if he likes her, and he says he might. He comments him for playing it cool but realizes he may have played it too cool.
Back at the house, Claire asks Lois to feel her shoulder as it is equal to a sack of burning jelly. Hal enters and Lois introduces him to Claire and she’s Jamie’s new babysitter. She tells him that she moved into Franklin’s old house and although it’s nice on the outside, inside it’s full of dry rot. Lois is so infuriated that she breaks a plate in half.
The next day, Mr. Herkabe is further humiliating Reese by pitting him against Hammy, the class hamster in a trivia game titled “What is Dumber Than Reese?” which Hammy wins. Malcolm has had enough and tells Mr. Herkabe that he’s nothing but a bully and a sadist and wonders how he can take any pleasure in humiliating Reese and begs him to stop. Mr. Herkabe it’s about time that Malcolm finally took action and is surprised that he didn’t do anything last week when Reese was crying.
Mr. Herkabe leads Malcolm to the school trophy case and tells him about the award he won his senior year. Malcolm incorrectly guesses several sports trophies and when Mr. Herkabe points out the plaque he earned, he claims it looks like it broke off another trophy. He claims he can’t be responsible for the myopic value the sports obsessed administration places on academic achievement. He explains that the plaque represents the highest GPA in the history of the school, and it belongs to him and him alone. Malcolm isn’t impressed. Mr. Herkabe explains he had to work hard to earn that plaque to score higher than Edna Fornby, the previous recipient who held the title for 38 years. He stresses that although she was blind since birth, she was a classy lady with a towering intellect and went on to become a Rhodes scholar. He sadistically enjoyed watching her cry like a baby when he took it from her. Now, Malcolm is on the verge of taking it from him and cannot allow it and blackmails him into tanking his grades unless he wants to see him destroy Reese every day for the rest of the school year. Malcolm wonders if he’s serious and he affirms he is as serious as a heart attack. He says he can’t simply give him a “B” since people are watching him, and he has a habit of rubbing people the wrong way but that doesn’t stop Malcolm from tanking the course on his own. Malcolm questions if he is really so shallow and petty to stoop so low as to blackmailing his students. Mr. Herkabe tells him to give it a few days to think it over and it’ll give him more time to think of more humiliating challenges for Reese wondering if using hot coals would set off the sprinkler system.
Lois arrives at Claire’s house to pick up Jamie. She claims she was just about to bring him over, but she thought she’d save her the trip before yanking Jamie away. Claire invites her to come in, but she informs her she’s got such a busy schedule. Unfortunately, Claire ends up following her all the way home and tells Lois to get out of her work clothes and she’ll make some tea, much to her frustration.
Dewey arrives in the backyard on his bike and Hal informs him how he got their microwave to work without closing the door. Hal asks him if he talked to Gina. to help him break the ice with her. Dewey informs him he didn’t talk to her that day. Hal reminds him that he said he would talk to her later. Dewey claims he might do it tomorrow, but Hal says if he was Gina, he’d have no idea what was going on. Dewey claims that it’s no big deal hotels do he knows how hard it is to figure romantic stuff out and how he wants to be with her but doesn’t know what to say and he feel like such a doofus. Dewey agrees, so Hal tells him to go in the house and call her. Hal says he could either do it right now, or he could wait until he’s old, toothless and alone living in a welfare hotel hoping the couple screaming next door invites him over to dinner sometime.
Inside, Claire tells Lois all about her leaky gut much to her dismay. Hal and Dewey come in and she suggests that they all go out to dinner that night. Hal turns her down because he’s helping Dewey with a project and suggests that she go with Claire, much to her further frustration. In the master bedroom Hal dials the phone but Dewey claims that he needs more time. Hal understands what he’s feeling, and he’s been through it himself and how wanting to runaway hide under the covers and cry just let you know that you’re a man. When Gina answers the phone Dewey is silent, Hal persuades him but when he still doesn’t answer he decides to talk to her himself.
As Dewey does his homework at the living room table, Hal comes in and tells him that they’ve got a problem and that he saw Gina talking with a wavy-haired blonde boy at the bike racks after school. Dewey questions whether Hal is supposed to be at work and informs him that boy is named Stephan and he’s not a threat.
Malcolm initially agrees to get Herkabe to stop tormenting Reese. However, in an air of confidence, Herkabe makes a big mistake: he casually confesses to skipping P.E. towards the end of his senior year and rather created his own AP course as an alternative.
He gives Dewey candy to give Gina, but it gets him into trouble with her father and he points out that she is allergic to nuts. As Gina comes out with her face swollen Dewey can only look on in horror as Hal drives away.
Malcolm anonymously tipped off the principal that Herkabe didn’t meet the requirements for the highest GPA and has his title revoked. Mr. Herkabe is begging Sam, the janitor not to revoke his title just because he missed one semester of Gym class. He ignores it and removes Herkabe's name off the plaque. Sam gives it to Mr. Hodges, who claims it to be a dark day for North High but given recent information he makes a speech that P.E. is part of the curriculum and a requirement for the GPA award. So, he returns the plaque to Edna Fornby, the school's previous record holder, who still managed to pass physical education despite being blind and club footed. Malcolm is pleased by Herkabe’s humiliation and offers fake condolences. Herkabe tells Malcolm he knows that he was the one who tipped off the principal and then says he’ll rise again like Napoleon on St. Helena before getting the facts of Napoleon’s return wrong which Malcolm happily corrects him that he was banished to Elba and died on St. Helena much to Herkabe’s annoyance. He then storms away to call his mother about everything before she hears about it from elsewhere.
Hal arrives home from work and Lois informs him that Claire died, much to his surprise. She informs him that her sister called and how no one saw it coming. He asks her if she’s baking cookies. She tells him they’re snickerdoodles and how precarious life can be and now that Claire is gone, she’s in a much happier mood and suggests that they go out dancing tonight, he agrees to it before seeing an upset Dewey storm into his room. Dewey claims there is no “us” and blames Hal for ruining his chances with Gina and that every idea he has about girls is wrong and questions how he was ever born. Hal states that at the time of his birth his mother was pretty much stuck in the relationship. Dewey sarcastically thanks him and that he really did like Gina. Hal apologizes for getting him into trouble with her father and driving away from the scene when he needed his help. Hal attempts to apologize, claiming that the father intimidated him so much that he had to flee. Dewey rejects the apology and points out that he knows better than to believe him. He tells Hal off that he wished that Lois helped him instead because she would know how to deal with people. Dewey wants him to stop butting in his life and leave him alone. Hal agrees to stay out of it and let him handle it on his own.
Realizing how angry Dewey is with him, Hal decides to do the exact opposite, and attempts convince Gina to talk to him by bribing her with candy without nuts and apologizes for getting her sick. She ignores him as Hal tells her to get in the car and an elderly neighbor named Mrs. Conlin witnesses this exchange. She calls the police to report him, believing him to be a child molester. Hal is arrested by the police who presume he is a child molester with intent to sexually assault Gina. He tries to defend himself, asking if the officers remember their first love, but due to his misguided wording he is arrested and taken to jail for attempted child sexual harassment.
As Malcolm enters the gymnasium, he sees Mr. Herkabe there who has decided to retake Gym to reclaim his award, despite it being twenty years after. He intends revenge on Malcolm for humiliating him. However, a grateful Reese hits Mr. Herkabe with a dodgeball. This makes him fall down and the students begin laughing at him. No sooner does Mr. Herkabe stands up, Reese hits him another dodge ball. He claims he might stop hitting him if he dances like a monkey. Due to his lack of coordination, he endures more humiliation from Reese, who continues pelting him with dodgeballs as revenge for all of Mr. Herkabe's prior mistreatment of him. A smug Malcolm tells the viewers that true victory comes from the heart rather than from trophies like the GPA plaque, and that is something that no one can ever take away.
In the end, Dewey is able to talk to Gina normally after running into her walking home from school. Gina tells Dewey his dad is really weird, which Dewey agrees with. She then asks him if he wants to eat lunch together tomorrow, which he agrees to.
The next day, Claire’s sister Donna pays Lois a visit. Soon she starts annoying her with the same non-stop talking.
Cast[]
- Jane Kaczmarek as Lois
- Bryan Cranston as Hal
- Christopher Masterson as Francis (Credit only)
- Justin Berfield as Reese
- Erik Per Sullivan as Dewey
- Frankie Muniz as Malcolm
Guest Stars[]
Recurring[]
- Chris Eigeman as Mr. Herkabe
- Jamie and Lukas Rodriguez as Jamie (Uncredited)
Cameo[]
- Hopsin as Student (Uncredited)
- Steve Vinovich as Mr. Hodges
- Kathryn Joosten as Claire
- Mimi Cozzens as Donna
- Vanessa Marano as Gina
- Kevin Will as Gina's Father
- Fiona Hale as Edna Thornby
- Tom Lent as Janitor
Trivia[]
- First appearance of Mr. Hodges who replaces Mr. Block as North High School's principal;
- Final appearance of Mr. Herkabe;
- Rapper Hopsin makes an uncredited appearance as a student in Herkabe's class. This is his second appearance as an extra, after Reese Joins the Army: Part 1;
- This episode reveals Herkabe's lack of coordination. The last episode that alluded to it was in Cliques.
- This is the last episode that has both the main characters' names as the title. The first time was in Malcolm vs. Reese and the 2nd time is in Malcolm Films Reese;
- The song that plays while Reese is doing the monkey dance was "Love Machine" by The Miracles;
- This is the last episode to air in 2005, the shows final year of production;
- This is the last time Hal got arrested on his own. The last three times are Charity, Garage Sale and Reese Joins the Army: Part 1.