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Mini-Bike is the twenty-second episode of season 2 of Malcolm in the Middle. The episode aired on April 29th, 2001


Plot[]

Craig drives the family insane while living with them. The boys buy a used mini-bike and fix it up, only to have Lois confiscate it. By the time that Malcolm and Dewey were able to get her to change her mind, Reese takes the bike out for a forbidden ride and crashes it, breaking his leg(proving her original stance against having a mini-bike true).

Malcolm thinks fast and tricks Craig into believing he had run over his leg. Even though Lois eventually finds out about Reese riding the bike against her admonition, she lets the boys get away with it because they helped get Craig out of the house. Hal visits Francis at Marlin Academy's father/son day and is disappointed when he learns that Francis apparently has not changed. Hal is later proud when he sees that Francis is the only cadet who stands up to Commandant Spangler.

Summary[]

Lois and Hal find a Christmas present underneath their bed in the opening scene. Hal assumes it was for one of the boys and suggests saving it for their birthday, that way it’ll be that much more special. Lois realizes the present is for Hal who gets excited and starts unwrapping it expecting it to be the DVD player he asked for and admits he's been secretly holding a grudge. he feigns being happier when it is revealed to be an emergency repair kit for his car. Hal thanks Lois for it.

The episode starts in the morning with the family waiting in line to use the bathroom, Craig has been hogging the bathroom for 45 minutes. He is conducting his morning routine while singing show tunes. Malcolm is annoyed and asks how long he will be living with them, Lois reminds everyone, including herself, to have patience; they burned the man's house down. Hal announces that they're barging into the bathroom, Reese tells him he did the same thing yesterday and warns him not to go inside, Craig is done when he is done. After Craig finishes, he and Jellybean venture out to start the day, leaving behind a huge mess for everyone to clean up. Lois repeats that they burned his house down.

Hal prepares to leave for a father/son weekend with Francis at Marlin Academy, he looks forward to spending time with Francis and maybe going on a survival hike, Lois asks if he has his fluffy pillow. Lois expresses how much she will miss him and wishes she could accompany him, he suggests she comes with him and he’ll hide her and she can be his dirty little secret. Craig interrupts them kissing, reemphasizing how small the house is, and how much Craig is really in the way. As Hal leaves Craig jokingly promises to take care of their house the same way that Hal and Lois took care of his, but promises that he won’t burn his house down while he’s gone. After Hal leaves, Craig tells Lois he realizes how awkward the situation is and tries to lay down the ground rules for Lois about anything funny happening while Hal is away. Mistakenly thinking that Lois had any feelings for him, of any kind, at any time. Craig acknowledges that all of those moments are in the past. Lois attempts to speak but he shushes her and tells her they’re done.

On the way home from school, Reese claims if the school policy is against him keeping a squirrel in his locker they should put up a sign since he isn't psychic. The boys walk past a garbage truck, where the driver was just about to throw out an old dirty mini-bike. Dewey is first to spot this treasure, and calls it out to his brothers. In turn, all the boys flash to a fantasy about this new turn of events: Malcolm imagines cruising down the street, Reese imagines using it to ride through a puddle and splash a girl and Dewey imagines having six arms to eat six cookies all at once. The boys stop the garbage truck driver from throwing it out, Reese reprimands the driver for not knowing what trash is. Malcolm asks the garbage man to give it to them and he asked for a price, Malcolm finds it outrageous since he was just about to throw it out. Reese gives the garbage man $30 for the mini-bike, Malcolm questions where he got $30 but Reese states it's none of his business. Later, they take it back to the house to hide it in the garage.

Back at the house, Craig is exercising in the living room. Lois walks in to asks her to make the boys dinner, while she is working late at the Lucky Aide that night. Craig willingly agrees to it. While Craig is talking about how he is in charge of the boys tonight and if he wants them to dance for him they'll have to obey him, Lois whispers to herself that they burned his house down.

The boys are working on their mini-bike, fixing and cleaning it up together. Happy that the whole body and paint job was intact, Malcolm sees that the only parts they need is a spark plug and a carburetor, knowing that they can dismantle their dad's lawnmower to build it. They are so excited to get it running. But it all hell breaks loose when Malcolm starts mentioning the schedule on who gets to ride the mini-bike, Reese finds it unfair, Malcolm defends himself as he is the one who knows how to put together the engine, Reese argues that he's the one who paid for it, Dewey argues that they would not have it if he had not seen it. Malcolm tries to calm things down as they are still fixing it. Dewey’s request to get it on Sundays is quickly shot down and Reese informs Dewey that he’s too short to even ride it. Dewey states that he’s in the 40th percentile and Reese is too stupid to ride it. Malcolm asks them to chill out but Reese tells Malcolm off that his loser Krelboyne friends may take orders from him, but normal people don't have to. Malcolm tells Reese off with the fact that he doesn't have any friends other than his brothers. Reese's feelings are hurt by that, he reminds Malcolm that their mother told him that he's not allowed to speak of that.

Meanwhile at Marlin Academy, awards are being given to the cadets for even the slightest recognition of the most pedestrian of tasks. Most of the cadets have a lap full of them, Hal is anxious as he anticipates Francis receiving an award, as he has not received a single one yet. Eric receives an award for the best history essay, and Hal congratulates Eric’s father, who is revealed to have two as his other father Jonathan thanks him and says how proud they are and that they’re the luckiest dads in the world. Spangler gives a speech about who the next reward goes to (describing Francis's profile), being a delinquent upon arrival and making the biggest turn-around ever seen, but instead is given to another cadet named Gordie. Hal was crushed and realizes just how poorly Francis is doing after he had not received any awards.

The boys are eating dinner in the kitchen with Craig, giving each other dirty looks as their feud with use of the mini-bike is still going on. Craig asks them about their day and Dewey says he didn’t do anything because he’s too short, Craig tells him that’s nothing to be ashamed of snd bets he’s got the biggest head in his class. Reese asks if he’s too stupid to have more peas. Craig remembers being their age without a care in the world, just himself and his imaginary brother building forts all day. When Reese gets up from his seat, so do Malcolm and Dewey, they all leave the table to go to the garage. Craig tells them they're all excused. Reese is taunting Malcolm about how long he is taking to get the mini-bike running. The minute Malcolm inserts they key into the mini-bike's ignition, their fighting increases to frenzy level. When Lois enters the garage, she removes the key and lays down the law: "It's nobody's. What's wrong with you kids? You're not allowed to have a motorcycle." As Lois is chaining up the bike and putting a lock on it, the boys debate that it's theirs and that they should keep it. Lois stands her ground and tells them it was stupid of them to get it. Malcolm tries to tell Lois is not a motorcycle, that it's two feet high, it was made specifically for kids, but she doesn't listen. She says "Two words. Motor. Wheels. Motorcycle" before locking it.

The next day at Marlin Academy, Hal seeks some answers from Commandant Spangler about Francis' lack of achievement and asks for a "little ray of hope". He spelled it out very clearly to Hal that his son does not care about learning at all. The only thing that Francis actually cares about is disrupting authority with his insurrection and pranks because Spangler seen kids like him at Marlin Academy before. Hal understands and asks if there is anything positive about him. Spangler tells him that he's sorry that he can't say anything positive about Francis. He tells Hal that he needs to face the reality of his son's behavior. This single apology makes him distraught because it means that he had come all the way from Star City, California for nothing. Hal soon realizes that Francis will never change and will continue being rebellious against Spangler, himself and Lois.

Now that the bike had been taken away, the boys once again reunite as a team, in search of a way to get their bike back. They try getting Lois to reverse her decision on the mini-bike through failed attempts: Malcolm looked over Lois' tax returns and tells her that he can save an estimate of $1,200 if he gets to use the mini-bike. Reese offers his Lois to take care of the neighbor's dog that keeps her awake every night by committing theriocide and throwing it in a body bag. Dewey childishly whines and screams on the kitchen floor as Lois is passing by. Malcolm offers to provide detailed information on every unsolved breakage or disappearance in the house for the last two years while Lois is showering. All are met with a resounding "No". Later in the day, Lois is collecting clothes to do a load of laundry, Craig tells Lois not to clean his, only to still throw his pile in to not waste water. Malcolm, Reese, and Dewey enter the kitchen with another proposition, being that they will wear helmets, elbow and knee pads with the park being the only place to ride it under her supervision. Lois shoots down their offer, Malcolm finds it unfair that she makes a blanket statement that means no, surely there is a way that they can use the mini-bike. Lois still says no and tells the boys to stop bothering her about it, Craig chimes in and says they are very reasonable. Lois tells him to stay out of it, Craig tells her that he lives in the same house too and he's entitled to his opinion.

After they leave the kitchen, Malcolm believes that their mother just cannot accept the fact that they were using teamwork, they bonded with each other when they were fixing up the mini-bike and wished it would never end (this is perhaps the best moment the three of them had gotten along in the whole series). Malcolm takes notice of a picture on the kitchen's China cabinet and realizes they now have a bargaining chip. When Lois comes home with some groceries, Malcolm and Dewey are waiting for her at the kitchen table. They ask about her teenage self riding a horse, and how it can be dangerous without safety wear and reason that a six foot fall from a galloping horse is more dangerous than a two foot fall from riding a mini-bike. Lois is unable to come up with a response and says she has to get ready for work, delighting Malcolm and Dewey that they've started to wear their mom down. When they go into their room to tell Reese of the good news by exposing the chink in the armour and if they play it cool and have a little patience they’ll have the mini-bike by the end of the week. But Reese tells them that they won’t anymore because it's broken. He admits to Malcolm and Dewey that he snuck the bike out for a ride, and crashed it. Reese admits that Lois was right about mini-bikes being dangerous and shows them the badly bruised lump on his right leg.

Malcolm chastises Reese for ruining their chances of getting the mini-bike, Reese tells him if they had gotten their mother's approval earlier, he would not have taken it. Malcolm asks Reese about his experience riding it, he says he looked really cool looking at his reflection in the passing car's windows up until he hit a mailbox. Dewey states that sometimes Reese just embarrasses him. Reese says that it's getting better and he will feel fine, Malcolm touches his bruise which causes Reese to cry out in pain. Lois comes into the boy's room with an explanation about the mini-bike, Reese starts yelling about how they can't even have a little bit of trust, but calms down. Lois offers them to take them to the skate park to make up for taking away the mini-bike. Reese makes up an excuse and tells her that he should get some rest so he can get started on next weeks homework. Reese's words make Lois suspicious but before she can ask any further questions about their shifty behavior, Craig calls her into the kitchen about his missing pickle from his labeled jar. When Lois asks him if he’s counting the one he's holding in his hand, he apologizes for his anger. As she heads out annoyed, Lois keeps reminding herself that she and Hal burned Craig's house down although her annoyances with Craig are now outweighing the guilt.

In the rec area, Hal is looking at a yearbook and quite shaken up by Spangler's assessment on Francis. Joe enters with his father introducing him to Francis, Joe's father asks Francis about how he got a cow onto the roof of Marlin Academy's gymnasium. Francis tells him that it was easy, the parachute being the only problem. Hal then interrupts his conversation with Joe and his father. He upsettingly tells Francis about the many Marlin Academy's clubs and extra-curricular activities in his yearbook, and that Francis is not in any of them, he doesn't even have a yearbook photo, Francis says that Hal can find it under the name "Pete Zahut," a joke name based on Pizza Hut. He explains to Francis that he had a chat with Spangler earlier about him. Hal mentions that in a school filled with problem children, he stands out as the worst one. Francis argues that isn't true, that there are three other students who are worse than him. He stops for a moment when he realizes that Hal is very disappointed in him for his lack of change. Hal pointed out that he and Lois's have tried to try to get through to Francis to grow up and stay out of trouble to no avail. He tries to explain himself to Hal. He refuses to listen to any more of Francis' excuses and tells him he doesn't care about anything or anyone but himself. Hal also tells Francis that he feels like he has to give up on him. He leaves the room, feeling heavily distraught and unable to even look at Francis.

Dewey and Malcolm are holding some ice on Reese's bump, Reese tells them he's forgotten whether or not they are liking or hating each other but states he appreciates his brothers' assistance. Malcolm says that two hours have gone by, and the swelling is not going down and Dewey can see his heartbeat through the abrasion. Malcolm tells Reese that he needs to be taken to a hospital, but Reese is against that because they know they will be in trouble with their mother finding out about the mini-bike. Malcolm tells Reese that it's not about the mini-bike anymore, it's about the fact that they will never be allowed to do anything they like doing for the next five years. He concludes that they need to find a way to get Reese to the hospital without their mother's knowledge so they can come up with a cover story. Reese asks them if they can handle that part themselves because he needs to scream into his pillow for the next five minutes to compensate for the unbearable pain. When Craig appears at the boy's door asking about Jellybean's sweater, a plan unfolds: Malcolm talks Craig into driving him across town for ice cream, despite Craig's opinion on it. As Craig is backing his pickup truck out of the driveway, he runs over something. The tire has hit a rock and Dewey removes it from the tire, the boys have their cover story for Reese's leg injury. To ensure a believable scream, Dewey punches the bruise causing Reese to scream out loud. Craig comes out and Malcolm tells him that he ran over Reese's leg, leaving him full of guilt. Lois comes out and sees this and runs towards Reese as he continues wailing in pain.

As the father/son weekend winds down, all the fathers are saying goodbye to their sons, except Hal, whose giving Francis the cold shoulder. Eric’s father tells Jonathan not to get so emotional since Eric will be home in time for his birthday. Upon seeing another cadet glaring Eric asks him if he’s got a problem, and he shrugs it off. Commandant Spangler notices an untucked shirt tail on a cadet and starts to discipline him. Francis defends the cadet by telling Spangler off that it came untucked while hugging his father and that he cannot yell at him for that. The cadet runs and Hal tries to get Francis to back down. However, Spangler stops it and tells Hal that he's glad he witnessed it. He points out that this is the exact kind of behavior he has to put up with Francis all the time. He always undermines authority everyday with his insurrection and pranks, regardless of the punishment he has to endure. The first example when Spangler punished Cadet Dooley for an inside-out pillowcase violation, he made Dooley run 600 laps around the academy. To his anger, Francis retaliated against the punishment by rallying his fellow cadets and organizes a sit-in strike against Spangler. Another example is when he had shut down the electricity for the fifth floor for a possession of contraband boom box violations, Francis always hijacks a generator for them. Spangler tells Hal that his son lives to cause chaos. Francis adamantly tells him off that the cadet was hugging his father and refuses to back down. Even in front of Hal, Spangler points out that Francis still defies him at every moment he gets. When Hal asks him that every time this happens, his son always challenges him. He confirms it and that Francis doesn't care if he has to be punished. Hal understands his son better now, having witnessed first-hand how right he was about Spangler in being an unreasonable and demanding control freak. He tells Francis that he'll deal with him later and leaves. Francis tries to apologize for his behaviour. However Hal, having seen that Francis is the only cadet willing to stand up to Spangler and defend the others regardless of the consequences, gives him a big hug and admits that he's proud of him.

At the house, the boys are watching TV. Reese wears a cast on his injured leg. Malcolm is in disbelief that their plan actually worked as they came up with it in two seconds and concludes that since it worked so well maybe they should start doing all of their plans half-assed. Lois asks Reese if he needs anything else for his leg before she asks the boys if they thought that she wouldn't notice the busted up mini-bike half-buried in the backyard's sandbox. At that moment, Craig appears with Jellybean about to move out, professing his apologies and shame for running over Reese's leg and cannot even look them in the face before leaving. Since the boys not only got Craig out of the house but also learned a lesson about the danger of mini-bikes, Lois decides to let this one slide, much to their relief.

At the academy, Hal bids Francis a fond farewell as his son is digging a hole as punishment by Spangler for his earlier defiance.

Cast[]

  • Jane Kaczmarek as Lois
  • Bryan Cranston as Hal
  • Christopher Kennedy Masterson as Francis
  • Justin Berfield as Reese
  • Erik Per Sullivan as Dewey
  • Frankie Muniz as Malcolm

Guest Stars[]

Recurring[]

Cameos[]

  • Clement Blake as Garbage Man
  • Brian Noonan as Drew's father
  • Chip Heller as Mr. Hanson (Eric's father)
  • Weston Blakesley as Eric's Stepfather
  • Brianna Deutsch as Reese's dream girl

Trivia[]

  • Craig Feldspar leaves the house in this episode.
  • The song Craig sings along to while he is in the bathroom is "I Hope I Get It" from the Musical A Chorus Line which premiered Off-Broadway in May of 1975. During his exercise routine, the song that is playing on his portable stereo is "Maniac" by Michael Sembello which was featured in the soundtrack of Flash dance.
  • Hal says goodbye to Francis here in front of a set building located on the premises of the CBS Studio Center. Francis meanwhile digs his hole here, located on a set that was previously used in Surgery.[1]
  • Horton and his father perform on a xylophone made from glasses of water, the song is the theme song from Three's Company
  • It is revealed that Eric is being raised by a homosexual couple.
  • The car emergency kit that Hal is given was an actual product made by custom accessories.
  • This episode marks the final appearance of Finley.
  • Songs: "Diagonal Girl" By: Mint Royale
  • This is the first episode which Lois shows a hatred for motorcycles. Season 6's No Motorcycles, was supposed to have a scene where Lois explain more to her hatred of them.
  • Irony: The boys learned a hard lesson about the dangers of riding mini-bikes and motorcycles.
  • This is the only episode in which Hal meets Spangler, while Lois meets him in The Bots and the Bees. Hal and Lois did not meet with Spangler at the same time. None of the brothers ever met Spangler. Although in the episode Krelboyne Girl, Hal speaks to Spangler over the phone.

Quotes[]

Lois: What's the matter, Craig?
Craig: What does it say on this jar?
Lois: "Craig."
Craig: Well I'm glad someone around here can read. These jars come with 14 pickles in them. I had three yesterday, two for lunch today, and one and a half for snack. And now there are six and a half pickles in this jar! Simple math indicates...
Lois: Are you counting the one in your hand?
Craig: Okay, false alarm.
Lois: We burned his house down. We burned his house down.

Malcolm: So, according to your logic, a two-foot fall from a mini-bike is more dangerous than a six-foot fall from a galloping horse?
Lois: That was a long time ago.
Malcolm: Before... gravity?
Lois: I don't have time for this. I have to get ready... I have to go to work.
[she leaves to go to the bedroom]

Craig:(turns the truck on) I don't know why we have to go across town. It seems kind of silly.
Malcolm: Craig, I promise. It's the best ice cream in town.
Craig: Well, I'll be the judge of that.
[backs up the truck and runs over something, making a loud thud; he stops the truck]
Craig: What was that?!
[Dewey moves a rock out of the driveway to fool Craig into thinking that it was Reese's leg that he ran over]
Reese:(non-emotional) Ow! Ow, my leg! Ow! Ow!
[Dewey rolls eyes and hits Reese's bump. He begins sobbing and screaming]
Craig::(quickly gets out of his truck, panicking) Oh, my God, what did I do?!
Malcolm: You ran over his leg!
Craig: Oh, no!
Lois:(runs outside) What happened? (sees Reese injured) Oh, my God, Reese!
[Reese continues sobbing loudly as Malcolm & Dewey look at each other and smile as their plan worked]

Lois: It's nobody's.
[Malcolm, Reese and Dewey are shocked when they see Lois twist the key to the mini-bike off and take it out.]
Lois: What's wrong with you? You're not allowed to have a motorcycle.

Francis: Sir, his shirt just came UN-tucked when he was hugging his father. You can't yell at him for hugging his father.
[The cadet runs when Spangler turns his attention to Francis]
Hal: Francis!
Commandant Spangler: On no, I'm glad you saw this because this is exactly what I was talking about. Always undermining my authority, day in, day out. It's the same thing. Like when I made Cadet Dooley do 600 laps of the perimeter for an inside-out pillow case violation, Francis organizes a sit in. Or when I cut off the electricity in the 5th floor for contraband boom-box, he hijacks a generator for them. The boy lives to cause chaos.
Francis: He was hugging his dad!
Commandant Spangler: In front of his father he still defies me at every turn.
Hal: And every time something like this happens, he challenges you.
Commandant Spangler: Every time.
Hal: Even though he knows he'll get in trouble.
Commandant Spangler: That doesn't seem to matter to him at all.
Hal: I understand.
Commandant Spangler:(turns to Francis) I will deal with you, later.

Craig:(leaving) Jellybean and I are leaving now. Once again, I'm very sorry. I can't even look you people in the eye.
[Once gone, Lois decides to call it even knowing her sons' plans got Craig out of the house.]

References[]

Malcolm in the Middle episodes
Season 1 PilotRed DressHome Alone 4ShameMalcolm BabysitsSleepoverFrancis EscapesKrelboyne PicnicLois VS EvilStock Car RacesFuneralCheerleaderRollerskatesThe Bots and the BeesSmundayWater Park
Season 2 Traffic JamHalloween ApproximatelyLois' BirthdayDinner OutCasinoConventionRobberyTherapyHigh School PlayBullyOld Mrs. OldKrelboyne GirlNew NeighborsHal QuitsThe GrandparentsTraffic TicketSurgeryReese CooksTutoring ReeseBowlingMalcolm vs. ReeseMini-BikeCarnivalEvacuationFlashback
Season 3 HouseboatEmancipationBook ClubMalcolm's GirlfriendCharityHealth ScareChristmasPokerReese's JobLois' MakeoverCompany Picnic (1)Company Picnic (2)Reese DrivesCynthia's BackHal's BirthdayHal CoachesDewey's DogPoker 2Clip ShowJury DutyCliquesMonkey
Season 4 ZooHumilithonFamily ReunionStupid GirlForwards BackwardsForbidden GirlfriendMalcolm Holds His TongueBoys At RanchGrandma SuesIf Boys Were GirlsLong DriveKicked OutStereo StoreHal's FriendGarage SaleAcademic OctathalonClip Show #2Reese's PartyFuture MalcolmBaby Part 1Baby Part 2Day Care
Season 5 VegasWatching The BabyGoodbye KittyThanksgivingMalcolm Films ReeseMalcolm's JobChristmas TreesBlock PartyDirty MagazineHot TubIda's BoyfriendSoftballLois' SisterMalcolm Dates a FamilyReese's ApartmentMalcolm Visits CollegePolly in the MiddleDewey's Special ClassExperimentVictor's Other FamilyReese Joins the Army: Part 1Reese Joins the Army: Part 2
Season 6 Reese Comes HomeBuseys Run AwayStandeePearl HarborKitty's BackHal's Christmas GiftHal SleepwalksLois Battles JamieMalcolm's CarBillboardDewey's OperaLiving WillTiki LoungeIda Loses a LegChad's SleepoverNo MotorcyclesButterfliesIda's DanceMotivational SpeakerStiltsBuseys Take A HostageMrs. Tri-County
Season 7 Burning ManHealth InsuranceReese vs. StevieHalloweenJessica Stays OverSecret BoyfriendBlackoutArmy BuddyMalcolm Defends ReeseMalcolm's MoneyBride of IdaCollege RecruitersMonoHal GrievesA.ALois Strikes BackHal's DentistBomb ShelterStevie in the HospitalCattle CourtMorpGraduation
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