Robbery is the seventh episode of Season 2 of Malcolm in the Middle and the twenty-third episode overall of the show.
Summary[]
Lois and Craig get caught up in a robbery at the Lucky Aide, where Craig finally admits his feelings for Lois. Hal brings home an old armourer to give Lois as an anniversary gift, but it turns out to be full of bats.
They manage to get rid of all the bats, but not without trashing the house in the process. Francis tries to cheer up a recently dumped fellow cadet by taking him to a strip club, then an illegal cockfight.
Plot[]
In the cold opening, Lois and Hal are watching TV in the living room in the evening until Lois decides to turn in for the night, Hal tells her he'll be along shortly until he changes the channel to a telenovela and becomes hooked on the story. The next morning an emotional Hal has spent the entire night watching a marathon of telenovelas before turning off the TV. Lois comes in and is surprised to see Hal up so early before asking if he even came to bed last night. Hal sarcastically excuses that he spent the entire night watching Mexican soap operas which was technically true, leaving Lois perplexed.
At the Lucky Aide, Craig informs Lois that he just got in promoted to the new assistant manager and offers to share his bonus pay with her, Lois appreciates the offer but turns it down since she wouldn't feel right taking advantage of him. Craig says it's not an issue since having all the power of assistant manager is no fun without being able to share it. He then tells another employee named Theresa to look into a candy rack in Aisle 4 that was knocked over and asks that she puts the Coffee Toffees on a lower shelf, Theresa agrees and leaves to fulfill her command. Craig asks Lois if she heard the resentment in Theresa's voice and it's giving him the shivers.
Back at home the boys enjoyed the time between school ending and before their parents arrive home. Malcolm claims it as the brief time where kids rule the world. Dewey eats whipped cream, Reese saws his textbook in half and Malcolm melts action figures in the waffle iron. Just then Hal arrives and tells them he has found something wonderful. He shows them an antique armoire that was under 6 bags of garbage but in great condition. Malcolm reminds Hal that their mother won't be off until 10 PM that night, Hal says they'll have plenty of time to get it ready. Reese claims that the armoire is junk but Hal states with a little paint and elbow grease one man’s trash is another man’s anniversary present.
At Marlin Academy, Francis confronts a sobbing Finley over not doing his homework for him but soon asks why he is upset. Finley informs him his girlfriend Julie left him and sent back all the gifts he gave her, Francis is sympathetic and claims he should do something to get his mind off it. At first he tries to push his homework onto him but Finley doesn't know what to do now since Julie meant the world to him, Francis asks if she put out and Finley confirms she did "Like crazy". Upon understanding Finley's misery he decides to cheer him up his own way.
Back at Lucky Aide, Lois' register is approached by two men who show her they have a gun and ask her for all the money. Lois is exasperated that another robbery is happening but knows how to handle it she tells the thieves that it she will give them all the money in the drawer if they agree to leave which they do. Craig approaches Lois believing another employee named Cheryl A. flipped him off while he wasn't looking, Lois tells him that she's busy with customers before giving them their money. As they are prepared to leave Craig asks them if they enjoyed their shopping experience but Lois informs him that they are in a hurry. Craig assures them it'll only take a second and at Lucky Aide they take pride in customer satisfaction. They confirm they are satisfied and attempt to leave once more but Craig stops them again because they don't sound satisfied and they don't need to worry about hurting his feelings because he is learning how to do his position as assistant manager properly and asks how they can truly satisfy them. The robbers now irritated by Craig's antics answer his question by pointing the gun at him and telling him to empty out all the other registers. Craig panics but Lois tells him to calm down since she's been through five robberies before and if they just give them all the money from the other registers they'll leave. Craig mentions the safe upsetting Lois because now they know they have a safe. The robbers are intrigued but Craig corrects them he meant the safety of the customers but they don't believe him. The head robber tells his accomplice to round up the customers while he locks the exits, but he objects stating they should leave before the authorities are alerted. The head robber tells him he is tired of doing small holdups and asks if he wants to do something more important with his life. His accomplice mentions going back to school but he meant like hitting up a safe, wondering if he wishes to work at Orange Julius for the rest of his life. He agrees by raising his gun and ordering everyone to go to sundries.
Back at the house Hal and the boys bring the oversized armoire into the living room where they soon discover why it was being thrown out, Hal opens it and sees hundreds of bowties, Malcolm corrects him that they aren't bowties, they're bats. The swarm of bats then fly out of the armoire and fly all around the house.
Back at the store, Craig attempts to hit an emergency response button under one of the stores counters but Lois tells him that the button has been disconnected for over a year because of his constant hitting it. Craig reassures her he used it for emergencies but Lois isn't convinced since he used it when he saw a bee, a large fly he assumed was a bee and a ghost. One of the robbers tells them to join the other employees in the back, Craig claims he is waving the gun around too much and the night will end in body bags. Lois reassures him that everything will be fine. Craig attempts to tell Lois how he feels but she shoots him down because she knows it'll all be over soon.
Under the kitchen table, Hal tries to call an exterminator but after finding out how expensive it will be to get rid of one bat, let alone hundreds he hangs up telling the boys they're on their own, which they aren't happy about but Hal reassures them that bats are just flying rats with radar. He has them repeat the sentence until a bat flies under the table freaking them out.
In the back room, Lois tells everyone they'll be fine but Craig warns them all not to talk, look them in the eye or beg them not to kill them or else they will kill them. Lois tells Craig he needs to stop talking as he is only making the criminals job easier. They call him into the office and ask him for the combination to open the safe. As Craig goes in he remembers he forgot to feed his cat and finds it funny the things that go through one’s head when they're about to die. Lois informs him it’s not a big deal since they only want to talk to him. Lois asks the robbers if there’s anyway they can speed things up, to which they claim if somebody gives them the safe combination they will leave. Lois says she can’t but Craig can, she tells him to give them the combo but he refuses to give it to them, much to Lois' shock. The head robber reassures them he'll handle it and points a gun to his chest and threatens to shoot, this leads to Craig fainting on top of Lois.
Francis takes Finley to a strip club to cheer him up, but Finley claims watching a bunch of naked, middle aged women degrade themselves in a place that smells like urine and cigarettes isn't going to make him feel better. Francis claims with that wording he can make anything sound terrible. Then a man offers them to see a real show out back, Finley refuses but Francis tells him to give it a shot. The man says it’ll cost them 50 dollars, Finley informs him he only has 20 dollars but he agrees regardless. Finley is skeptical but they are roped into watching and participating in a cockfight.
The boys and Hal come back inside with head protective gear and split up. Reese tries to fool his brothers with a bra pretending its a bat but after a bat has grabbed onto his back and Dewey and Malcolm beat him with baseball bats, Dewey continues hitting Reese even after they kill the bat.
Back at Lucky Aide as Craig hyperventilates into a paper bag held by the second robber who demands a combination after he's done. Craig once again refuses but before he can physically hurt him Lois asks him to let her talk to him and she'll get Craig to give them the combo. She informs Craig that the robbers mean business and they both know there is less than 700 dollars in the safe and she wonders if Craig really believes that 700 dollars is worth more than the lives of seven employees. Craig informs her it's not just about the money but taking a stand for his dignity and doesn’t care if they kill him. Lois reminds him that before the robbers kill him they're going to do everything in their power to make him talk, and to picture himself with shattered eye sockets because that's where they're going to start. She mentions several other things such as breaking all his fingers and toes and even cutting a few off also mentioning how they may utilize a buck knife, leading Craig to faint once more to her further frustration.
Back at the house, Hal and the boys set up a tent in the living room for dinner. Hal explains that he left every door and window in the house open so the bats will fly out, but Reese questions what's stopping more bats from flying in. Hal changes the subject by asking the boys about school. Dewey claims he was pushed by a large bully named Mikey Duffy, Hal tells Reese to get back at Mikey. Malcolm claims that the situation is crazy and he cannot ignore the situation, Hal attempts to change the subject again but fails. Reese asks if anyone wants his baked potato since it’s too burnt but Hal reminds him they aren't having baked potatoes, they all look down and see a live bat is on his plate. They scream and step on the tent to kill the bat breaking all the dishes inside. Reese has had enough and suggests they simply move away and that their mom would find them somehow. But Hal claims that this is the last straw, and that he's tired of running and screaming like a girl every five minutes. Stating he won't be evicted from his home by airborne rodents and neither will the boys and although he brought them into the house, it is up to all of them to show the bats the door. Hal and the boys begin sucking up the bats with the vacuum and setting them free outside, whipping at flying bats with towels and rushing them out the side door by charging them out and throwing frisbees at them.
Afterwards, Hal tells Dewey that there is only one bat left in Hal and Lois' bedroom who has managed to evade all their previous capture attempts, Dewey named the bat Tricky as a result of his craftiness. Hal tells him that they now have the perfect trap but Dewey has to lure him into the trap because he has the shortest hair he explains that if he lands on Dewey's head he will bite once and then fly away, but since Hal and his brothers have longer hair, Tricky will get tangled in their hair and continue biting them until they are dead. Hal gives Dewey a stick and tells him that he is going to go in their room and poke the bat until he chases him. Dewey approaches Tricky and pokes him causing him to fly after Dewey to the front door where he is ambushed by Hal, Malcolm and Reese who spray him with silly string until he suffocates. They all cheer for their victory until they realize they destroyed the house in the process, Hal says to get the dustpan to clean up before their mother comes home.
Lois slaps Craig to wake him up where upon he asks if she's okay. She informed him she's not okay because she's being held by gunpoint and she wouldn't have to be if he would stop being stupid and tell them the combination. Craig reminds her he can't but she tells him she is frightened and wants to go home and be with her family. Craig finally tells her the truth that they never told him the combination. Their boss told him he thought he couldn't be trusted with it and the man in charge of the photo lab next door comes in at night and transfers the money. Lois wonders why he didn't tell her earlier, Craig says he wasn't in a hurry to let everyone know what a pathetic idiot he was. Lois apologizes before Craig finally tells Lois that he loves her, she is initially confused until he elaborates that He loves her with all his heart and she is his reason to get up in the morning and furthermore states that he doesn't want to feel this way since he knows she's married with four boys but his heart won't let him feel otherwise and wishes he didn't have one because of it.
Lois is sympathetic to Craig's plight and apologize once again for how he feels and also apologizes for what she'll have to do now, since she'll have to hurt him to make her point clear but assures him it's for his own good. She tells him no to everything he just said including his "what if's" or any fantasy, wish, dream or elaborate scenario that involves the two of them. She then gives him an Indian sunburn and tells him to remember that pain whenever a thought creeps into his head wondering if there's something more to the "hello" she gives him in the morning and he has no future with her before leaving the room. The second robber overhears and tells him he got faced. Upon hearing that Craig spirals into a fury where he picks up the safe and throws it at them. The safe breaks open allowing the robbers to take the small bundle of less than 700 dollars and leave the store. Lois asks Craig if he's all right, Craig states that he felt something rip and if it wasn't his pants it was inside of him.
Francis and Finley are loaded into a police van to be incarcerated. Francis reassures Finley that the night wasn't a total loss and he should be proud he won 10 dollars. Finley reminds Francis that they are going to jail and when his parents find out he'll be stuck in military schools until he is emancipated. However he does thank Francis for putting things into perspective since there are worse things than losing your girlfriend and he has experienced every one of them that night and he should be back in circulation in no time.
Back at Lucky Aide, the police arrive as Theresa tells them the whole story about Craig's bravery and heroics. As Lois prepares to go home she hears a broken-hearted Craig singing "The Most Beautiful Girl" into the PA system while sobbing, although Lois feels guilt about hurting him she decides to leave since there's nothing more she can say to him.
Lois finally arrives back home and goes into the bedroom where she and Hal ask each other about their spouses night. Lois asks why there is an armoire in the living room, Hal tells her it's an anniversary present. They attempt to kiss but both of them are so fatigued from the night's events they immediately fall asleep.
Trivia[]
- The music playing while the gang wages war against the bats is "Frankenstein" by The Edgar Winter Group.
- The song that Craig sings at the Lucky Aid is "The Most Beautiful Girl" by Charlie Rich.
- At the timestamp 2:14, Reese can be seen in the background with a handsaw making sawing motions, but not sawing anything.
- Following the events of Lois vs Evil, Craig is promoted to the assistant manager of Lucky Aide after Mr. Pinter quit at the end of the episode.
- The newspaper briefly flashes to the bat on the ground covered in silly string you can see showtimes for the movie "My Dog Skip" starring Frankie Muniz
Errors[]
- In the widescreen version of the episode. After Hal and his sons open the armoire and hundreds of bats come flying out. A hand can be seen in the bottom right shaking the lamp with a tool.