Malcolm and Reese are caught by the officer
Stock Car Races is the tenth episode of Season 1 of Malcolm in the Middle and the tenth episode overall of the show.
Summary[]
Hal takes the boys to see stock-car races on a school day. While she's looking for her paycheck, Lois cleans the house and finds enough evidence to ground the boys.
Francis sneaks a snake into the academy. Dewey constantly punches himself in order to get Reese in trouble so he can relax in front of the TV.
Plot[]
In the cold opening, Malcolm and Reese are sitting on the couch watching TV until Dewey arrives and starts slapping himself in the chest pretending that he is being beaten by Reese. Lois falls for Dewey's lie and drags him away while reprimanding him for picking on his little brother while Reese tries to explain he was being framed. Dewey joins Malcolm on the couch and Malcolm says that he taught Dewey how to manipulate Lois into punishing Reese.
Hal looks inside the fridge and ask Lois, which juice he doesn’t like apple or grape, she tells him he doesn’t like either. She then asks Malcolm about all the forms from his teacher Caroline as she sends home two or three flyers a day. Malcolm says it’s because she wants the parents to be as involved as possible with the students. Lois is in disbelief that she wants the parents to be involved with the kids at school since it’s the only break she gets; she then asks him what “Personal Fulfilment Week” is. Malcolm explains it’s square dancing and is upset about having to square dance in front of the entire school with his class. Reese loves how humiliating it is for the Krelboynes and how they laugh their asses off. Lois makes Reese gargle with salad dressing for swearing. Malcolm agrees that the class is turning him into a total weirdo. Lois assures him that he’s not a weirdo, he’s gifted and if gifted kids are supposed to square dance, then he’ll do it, and it probably teaches him geometry. Lois tells Hal to mail some bills and they’re still hot until she drops off her paycheque at the bank. After realizing how humiliated and/or beaten he will be for square dancing he decides to ditch school for the sake of his masculinity. Hal decides to drive the boys to school, Malcolm tries to argue but Hal is dead set on taking them and says it’ll be the highlight of his day. Malcolm is annoyed that now he can’t even be mad at him. After Hal leaves with the boys, he fails to realize that he accidentally takes Lois's paycheck after it is knocked off the table into his bag.
Meanwhile, at Marlin Academy, Francis smokes a cigarette before getting punched in the arm from a group of cadets while playing a game of pool with Stanley. Stanley commends him for not giving them any satisfaction claiming after six months they’ll be bored with him. As Francis lines up to take a shot, he sees an opportunity to get revenge and realizes that his mom was right about him getting a sick thrill out of trouble and launches the cue ball into the back of one of the cadet's heads. Before he can retaliate against Francis, Commandant Spangler arrives on the floor carrying his dog Patton, who smells smoke and when no one confesses he has Patton sniff it out on Francis. Spangler tells him that he has the worst attitude he’s seen in fifteen years at the institution, compelled to break every rule and flout every convention and he’ll never make it in the armed forces. He uses Patton as an example that although he is vicious and ungrateful even, he understands obedience. Francis agrees to act more like a Jack Russell terrier from now on. For smoking on campus, Spangler punishes the cadets with one month of no hot water and the cadets can feel free to thank Francis before leaving with Patton gnawing at his leg. After he leaves, Francis receives a black eye from the other cadets as payback.
In the car Dewey snitches on Reese for wiping his booger on his lunch bag, but Hal reminds him "only snitch when asked to snitch." The boys are shocked though when Hal tells them they aren't going to school. He tells them he plans to share an interest of his with them he hopes they’ll remember for the rest of their lives. He says he’s been planning it for years and just had to wait until they were all old enough to appreciate it. Reese wonders if it could be hookers. Malcolm is unsure as well, but if it gets him out of square dancing, he’s open to doing anything else. Hal tells them to sit back and enjoy the ride, because today they’re wild men.
Back at the house Lois plans to drop off her paycheck at the bank but cannot find it. She searches for it by rifling through her purse, old papers and the laundry but after dumping a bag of garbage in the sink she realizes she needs to take a more detail-oriented approach.
Later, Stanley tells Francis that his black eye isn't as bad as the one Francis asked him to give him to get him out of practicing riflery. Francis secretly overhears how much the cadets hate the annoying dog; he secretly bought a boa constrictor for twenty bucks whom he named Otis and stashed him in his footlocker. When he shows this to Stanley, he warns Francis to get rid of the snake before Spangler finds out. He refuses and intends to use Otis one day to attack the dog. He asks Stanley if he’s going to rat him out. Stanley knows for sure that Francis will be caught and although he had nothing to do with it, he’ll be held accountable as well. Ultimately, he reluctantly agrees to keep Otis a secret, however when they leave the room, they fail to realize Francis left one of the buckles on his footlocker unlocked.
Hal takes them to Irwindale Speedway which excites them. As they find their seats Hal points out a blue car with the number 16 and it’s driven by to the best driver ever Rusty Malcolm whose accolades include fifteen NASCAR titles, six world records and the inventor of the in-car urination system. Hal claims that this is Rusty’s last race before retirement and wanted to share it with them before he left the sport. Malcolm himself was named after Rusty in his honor, and it took him three tries to convince Lois to name one of their children Malcolm. Dewey mistakenly cheers when he believes that Rusty Malcolm won but Hal informs him it's just the pace lap and there are hundreds of laps before the race is over in four hours. Reese asks if they at least get to see any flaming wrecks, but Hal says that the sport of stock car racing is more about skill, determination and precision and the wrecks are just sort of an occasional added bonus. After two laps, the boys grow bored and decide to get some sodas, Hal gives them some money including a little extra to get him a beer.
Back at the house, Lois combs through every square inch of the living room finding firecrackers that she knows belong to Malcolm and a porno magazine she assumes for Reese.
While arguing over who should watch Dewey, the boys lose sight of him and venture upon a forbidden room. Reese claims that it wouldn’t say forbidden unless there was something totally bitching on the other side. Malcolm agrees to go in only to be caught by a security guard named Karl who drags them into the security office. Malcolm has a pneumatic drill stuck on his t-shirt and Reese claims that he’s a diabetic and needs insulin, but Karl doesn’t listen and forces them to sit down. Malcolm claims it actually was bitching and plans to get a pneumatic drill of his own for Christmas.
Later back at the house Lois starts finding objects and "dirt" on the boys and Hal. She starts making piles for evidence against each of the boys in her life when Caroline, Malcolm's Krelboyne teacher stops by. Lois tells her to read the sign that says “No soliciting” which includes Jesus. Caroline informs her who she is and come in to let her know that Malcolm has been skipping school all week. Lois puts down "ditching" in Malcolm's pile. Caroline tells Lois that she believes Malcolm has been skipping because he has body issues and is worried about not being graceful. Lois immediately bursts into laughter until she realizes Caroline is serious. Lois tells her that although she may be an expert on teaching, she knows nothing about boys. She tells her that boys are able to think maybe three minutes into the future, and it's their job to make sure that future comes crashing down on them within the time limit to ensure they learn their lesson. They lift the couch to find something unsanitary which doesn't faze Lois as she goes to grab a pair of tongs.
Back in the security office. Malcolm tells Reese that he’ll be Kevin, and he can be Clyde. Reese questions if he can cry, but he claims that he needs to feel it. Reese has an idea, but Malcolm refuses to do it. Karl comes back in and tells the boys that he understands how tempted they were but just as he is about to let them off the hook, Reese punches him in the stomach much to Malcolm’s frustration especially when they attempt to leave only to find that the door is locked. As Karl gets back up Malcolm believes that he can cry now.
At Marlin Academy, after finding out that Otis escaped Stanley wonders if he is inspired by the snakes symbolic bid for freedom but realizes that he isn't and is just pissed at Francis. Francis assures Stanley they've got nothing to worry about until they hear Patton barking at Otis until he eats Patton alive, Spangler attempts to shoot the snake but due to his lack of depth perception Otis escapes into the wild. Francis clearly terrified, phones Lois and asks for her credit card so he can come for a visit and get away from Spangler's fury and further beatings. Lois tells him he's better off being far away from her. Francis attempts to argue but she claims he needs to trust her by pulling out a fake ID from his bin of evidence when he used the alias “Olaf Mortenson of Wheatville, Montana” Francis is visibly disturbed and immediately hangs up.
Lois and Caroline are relaxing on the couch together and Caroline tells Lois that she has learned more in two hours with her than she has in six years of teaching. She then asks if her life turned anything like she hoped it would be. Lois explains none of her dreams came true as she wanted to be a blackjack dealer on an Indian reserve but due to her stubby thumbs it didn't come true. Caroline claims she is still fairly lucky to have her home and her family and all she comes home to every night is three yowling cats and her showerhead she named Bob. After a laugh she asked if she has a stronger alcohol for her coffee.
Back at the racetrack, Hal can’t believe the boys are missing such a great race and wonders where they could be. As he turns around Dewey wanders out onto the racetrack shocking the audience, but by the time Hal turns back around Dewey has already crossed the track and disappeared from his line of sight.
The next day, Spangler informs the cadets of Patton's death and despite his efforts he was unable to kill the snake due to his lack of depth perception. He wonders why God feels the need to take away everything that he loves but is more focused on finding who is responsible. He then confronts Francis who tries to claim that he was set up by someone else for it. The angered Spangler doesn't believe a word coming out of Francis' mouth because he found snake droppings in his footlocker and demands he confesses. Annoyed over Francis's defiance, he worsens the cadet's punishment with two months' worth of having the hot water shut off including no television and an 8:00 pm curfew for the academy and tells them to thank the cadet for not confessing to his latest infraction. Believing they're going to beat him up, Francis asks them to take a picture of him being beaten up and send it to his mom with the words "I told you so!" written on it. Instead, the cadets congratulate him which confuses him. The cadets reveal to Francis that they hated Patton so much for his viciousness and they commend Francis for using Otis to get rid of him. They all believe Spangler’s punishment was worth it to be rid of Patton and punch him in the arm once again, but in good nature this time. Francis questions Stanley on whether or not it is better.
After the race is over, Hal finds Dewey who points out that Reese and Malcolm being held by Karl. Hal is confronted by the security guard who explains the boys' rotten behavior and they are the most horrible children he’s ever encountered. Rather than apologize for it, he kicks Karl in the shin and flees with the boys in tow, leaving Karl keeled over in pain.
At home, Hal arrives with the boys and hopes they learned a lesson from their outing. Malcolm learned his dad is capable of doing something cool, not necessarily violence but definitely something cool. Hal finds Lois's paycheck in the trash realizing he took it by accident before taking it out. He quickly reminds the boys to tell Lois that he has been at work all day unaware of the NASCAR logo sunburned to his forehead. They are horrified to find the evidence of their crimes all sorted by name and Lois waiting for them with a cup of tea and a sinister smile. Malcolm is relieved that at least she is unaware of him cutting class, unaware of his mom’s afternoon with Caroline.
Trivia[]
- This episode reveals that Malcolm was named after Rusty Malcolm, and that Francis and Reese were originally going to be named Malcolm for the same reason.
- Malcolm's extreme dislike of the sport is ironic since his actor Frankie Muniz loves the sport and even shifted his career from acting to racing for a while after the show ended.
- Irwindale Speedway, a real racetrack east of Los Angeles, was used as a filming location for this episode.[1]
- In the cold opening, the cartoon Malcolm and Reese are watching is the 1942 Superman animated short The Arctic Giant, with the sound redubbed (presumably for copyright reasons). The same cartoon appears again on the Wilkersons' TV in Cheerleader.
- At the very end of the episode, when Hal and the boys come home, inside Francis' basket are cigarettes called ''Morley''. Morley is a fictional brand of cigarettes often seen in movies and TV, such as "Psycho", ''Pulp Fiction'' and "The X-Files".
- The couch at the very end of the episode when Hal and the boys enter the house is different than the couch from earlier.
- Commandant Spangler saying "Feel Free to thank (insert offender)" makes its first appearance here. The next time is in Dewey's Dog.