Grandparents is the fifteenth of the second season of Malcolm in the Middle, which was broadcast on February 11, 2001.
Synopsis[]
Lois's parents Victor (Robert Loggia) and Ida (Cloris Leachman) come for a visit and don't seem to approve of anyone in the family except Reese.
Plot[]
In the cold opening, the boys sit at the kitchen table eating pancakes their dad made for them despite the fact that they keep having to pick hair out of their mouths. Malcolm’s thanks his father and says how great they are. Hal unsanitary uses the spatula to scratch his hairy back and asks them who’s ready for seconds. Dewey coughs up another hair and says, “I am”.
Lois is sitting at the kitchen table when Hal comes in, and she asks him which pink form he would rather let slide that month: cable or visa. Hal says they could probably live without cable since they can get together as a family, play board games and sing songs. Knowing how awkward it’ll be Lois decides to pay the cable. Hal finds that the freezer is broken after dumping out a carton of ice cream, which has melted. Lois is in disbelief since they just had it fixed, Hal admits that the refrigerator is nothing but a piece of junk and that it’s only five years old and can’t understand why it keeps breaking down. Flashbacks show that the boys' misbehavior is responsible for the fridge’s issues. Including: breaking the fridge’s light while playing hockey in the kitchen, Reese tackling the refrigerator to the floor and Dewey hammering a nail into the fridge to hang up a picture.
Hal decides to go get the ice chest from the garage, providing that still works. Reese and Malcolm come in and ask their mother to settle a bet on who has the longer tongue with the loser having to lick the tub drain. Lois's parents knock on the window wondering how long she plans to make them wait outside. Lois is surprised to see them and Hal tries to make them get down, so they don’t see them but upon seeing them through the window he realizes they’re too late. Her mother, Ida Welker and father, Victor Welker are really cruel and horrible people who are very annoying to everyone in the family with the exception of Reese out of nostalgia. Victor demonstrates this by complimenting how much Reese has grown and gives him five dollars. Malcolm attempts to greet his grandfather, but Victor has trouble hearing him because he sounds like a girl. Lois emphasizes how they just decided to hop in the car and drive down from Canada. Hal asks how long they’ll be staying; Ida says if they’re such a big inconvenience they’ll go right now but Lois tells them they are welcome. Dewey comes in and Lois asks if he remembers his grandparents. He remembers that as an infant when he needed to be changed, they dropped him and as he cried instead of showing sympathy, Ida says that’s what happens to little boys who squirm. Back in the present, Dewey runs out of the kitchen.
Meanwhile, at Marlin Academy, Francis and his friends watch a news story about the upcoming Mardi Gras parade in New Orleans. Eric claims those people are animals tearing each other’s clothes off and that they have no respect for authority. Francis states that Eric is right and that should be them if they left right now, they could arrive in New Orleans in five hours. Horton questions how they are going to get there and Joe questions where they would stay. Francis tells them to stop quibbling with logistics when he’s offering them 48 hours of non-stop debauchery and it could be the greatest weekend of their lives.
Unfortunately, once they arrive, Francis is sick from a bad sushi he ate at a truck stop when he and the cadets arrive in New Orleans. Eric claims he should’ve known better, but Joe argues that the cashier said the yellowtail was fresh and his octopus was excellent. Francis asked them to stop talking about it. Horton comes in and tells them it’s like a war zone out in the street since there’s looting rioting and the cops have turned a hose on the crowd, they all realize there will be girls in wet T-shirts and all eagerly run off to see, leaving Francis behind in the hotel room to recover.
At dinner, Lois orders pizza for dinner due to the fridge being broken. Victor says that they should know better since their brand of refrigerator is tshovka. As Dewey eats his pizza, Ida tells him he can fatten up all and wishes him luck when raiders come with dogs to chase him into the hills, clearly worrying him. Hal strikes up a conversation about how great it is they can just pack up and go places on a whim, and how he himself would be constantly asking himself if he left the stove on or if the iron is still plugged in and how he once heard a story about a fire being set by a mouse chewing through an electric cable. Victor asks where his coffee is, and Lois pours it for him. She tells Ida to put out her cigarettes since it’s not good for the kids wonders if she thinks it will stunt their growth since she turned out big enough. Victor is impressed by how much pizza Reese can eat but is offput by Malcolm using a knife and fork to eat. Lois tells her father that since their last visit Malcolm has been put in a special class. Victor isn’t surprised, but Lois assures him it’s an advanced class and asks Malcolm to give him an example. Malcolm says that they are reading “Grapes of Wrath”, and they are starting advanced algebra. Victor wonders if it’s a shot at him since he didn’t study algebra, he explains how he couldn’t since he went to war when he was Malcolm’s age, and that math serves no purpose in war. Hal and Victor both reach for the last slice and Victor says that when Hal can provide for his family, he can have the last piece of pizza. Lois argues that Hal provides for them just fine, but Victor disagrees since they can’t even keep food in the house for his grandchild. Lois says they’ll get the fridge fixed, but Victor says it’s a waste of time since it will just break again and questions why they don’t just buy a new one since it will only cost between 700 and 800 dollars to buy a new one and they’ll gladly give them the money. Ida is thankful that their generation knew to save their money and didn’t frit it away on things like toys and dolls, mentioning when she was a girl, she dressed up a piece of wood, and she was happy to have it. Lois says that they won’t take their money. Victor tells her to accept it since they love her too much to watch her children grow up ashamed of her.
Francis calls home to ask Malcolm what their mom put in the hot tea when they were little and if she’s around. Malcolm informs him that their grandparents came to visit and she’s changing the sheets on their bed. Francis isn't happy asking if they drove up or if they heard their cloven hooves clatter up the driveway. He can’t be sure but thinks their grandpa spit at him, Francis reassures Malcolm to not take it personally because they’re primeval creatures with tiny little hearts. That they have stupid lizard brains and are threatened by anyone with an ounce of ambition or intelligence, and they would eat them if they had better teeth. Victor comes into the kitchen and comments how Malcolm is always on the phone, but Francis overhears him and tells Malcolm to say he is a malevolent poisonous troll he simply says Francis says hi and Victor says Francis is nothing more than a no-good delinquent.
In the boy's bedroom, after giving Lois’s parents their room Hal and Lois take Malcolm and Dewey’s bed. Lois tells Hal she can’t allow him to take her parents money because they will never let him live it down and will use it to humiliate him. Hal claims that they do that already and that they desperately need a new refrigerator since they can’t store the meat on the porch forever and he’s big enough to take one for the team. Lois is touched by Hal’s words and says that he’s better than all of them. They start kissing but when Dewey’s Herbie doll falls onto the bed. They both realize that doing lewd things on Dewey’s bed is just wrong. Lois sees that Reese’s bed looks fine and they both immediately move to his.
Hal buys a new refrigerator, and Dewey thanks it after it gives him ice cubes. Hal says that the new refrigerator makes ice cubes in circular and crescent shapes and wonders how people are supposed to decide. Lois finds it nice to have something in the house that works and as Victor walks in Hal asks how great the new fridge is, but he is more concerned over his descending colon being inflamed and questions how that could possibly be great. Lois informs her dad that after sending off their mortgage and car payments they should get reimbursement check right away. But Victor changes his mind since after discussing it with Ida, they conclude that it’s bad for money family to give money to family since it always ends badly, leaving them in shock before emphasizing their bad decision to buy orange juice with pulp.
Both parents go into the boys' bedroom and are furious at their promise to pay them for the refrigerator only to pretend it never happened. Lois swears that she will kill them by snapping their necks like chickens. Hal reminds her that won’t make the situation any better. Lois suggests returning the refrigerator, but Hal reminds her that they can’t since they bought it on sale. Hal then says that in the meantime until they pay off the debt, they’ll both just need to work a ton of overtime, Lois questions who will take care of the kids.
In the living room, Hal and Lois ask her parents to stay for a little longer and look after the kids. They are unsure and believe they should leave because they sense tension. They assure them there’s no tension and they just have a couple hectic weeks coming up. They agree to it as they claim they’d do anything for family. Dewey comes in and Hal informs him that his grandparents will be staying to take care of them for the next few weeks. Dewey recalls another traumatic experience when he was a toddler riding his bicycle, Victor nearly ran him over while backing his car out of their driveway. Despite ringing his bell repeatedly Victor couldn’t hear him, and Dewey gets off his bike before his grandfather runs it over and drives off with it being dragged along. Back in the present, Dewey runs out of the house.
Back in New Orleans, the cadets come back into the hotel and ask Francis how he’s doing, he claims he needs a doctor. Horton says they brought him something better: beads. Eric tells him that outside there is free beer and women who take their tops off when they’re given beads. Horton questions the possibility that they crashed their car on the trip, died and went to heaven. Francis claims he would welcome death at the moment. Joe is in disbelief that Francis is talking like that reminding him that he’s their leader and if it wasn’t for him, they wouldn’t be there. He realizes he’s right and gets up to join the festivities. The cadets chant Francis’ name until he vomits immediately after leaving the hotel. The cadets carry him back into the room with Eric stating it’s a good thing they found a hotel with a drain in the hallway.
Victor and Reese come into the living room with ice cream and Victor takes notice of their parents' absence and if they are going to be working all the time, they shouldn’t have children. An annoyed Malcolm wanted ice cream too and questions why their grandparents give Reese nice things but never even ask him. After giving it some thought, Reese concludes that they must see him as the protector of the bloodline and if the future is half as bad as their grandpa suspects it is there will only be three kinds of survivors: mutants, cockroaches and himself, all living underwater and things are back in order. Reese feels nauseous from so much ice cream and regrets having a second one.
While out walking with Ida, she starts violently coughing and Malcolm offers to help carry her purse or her whiskey. Ida refuses as she claims she once strangled a border guard with her bare hands. Malcolm tells her how he studied about her country in school, and Ida is exasperated by his affinity for books and by doing so much reading he won’t be happy when it gives him eye cancer. Malcolm states that he found the folklore very interesting along with the history, the war and the revolution and how it must’ve been difficult for her growing up. She says it was and offers him a snort of her whiskey, Malcolm politely declines. As they walking, they pass by a group of boys who
In the bathroom, Lois nurse’s Malcolm’s black eye he received from the bullies thanks to Ida. Lois doesn’t know why Malcolm won’t tell her who did it to him since there’s no honor in defending a bully. Upon receiving no response, she tells him it’s his loss. Malcolm asks his mom if she likes her parents but informs him it doesn’t matter whether she likes them or not since he can’t just trade for someone else. She tells him that you can’t pick your parents, you’re stuck with her who you get. Malcolm fully understands and Lois is aware that they’re certainly not going to change and all she can do is hope that they’ll be gone soon. Malcolm questions about them going home and she feigns that that’s what she meant by that statement.
Lois comes home from work and informs Hal that Lucky Aide keeps both registers open until midnight and questions what idiot would need a beach ball at 11 PM. She asks if he’s made the boys lunches, but Hal says he's hasn’t yet because he’s been experimenting with the ice cubes the fridge makes and that the circular cubes cool quicker but the crescent ones last longer. Lois objects that Hal isn't helping, and he used a rectal thermometer. Hal disgustedly states he’s going to go brush his teeth. In the boy's bedroom they get into an argument with Hal believing she is upset with him; Lois responds with the fact that she just finished a double shift and she’s tired and needs sleep. Hal understands but brings up how snappy she was earlier; Lois retaliates against him because she’s tired of him not helping. Hal knows that she is pushing her frustrations with her parents onto him, and it is classic. Lois defends that she’s not displacing as much as he is focusing all his attention on the new refrigerator. Hal knew that she didn’t like it, she tells Hal she hates the new refrigerator and everything about it: it’s tubular handles, the way it keeps the butter and when she’s trying to sleep, she can hear it whirring and to top it off it keeps things too cold. Hal decides that is the last straw and how the motor housing is four layers thick. He says that her words are unfounded criticism and until she apologizes, he takes a pillow to go sleep in the garage. Through the door, Ida tells Victor she knew there was tension.
Malcolm goes into the backyard where Ida immediately whips him in the face and tells him he needs to toughen up. She whips him again before asking him to take a swing at her. Malcolm says he's not going to hit her, and a kid should never have to say anything about hitting their grandmother. Ida wonders how he is going to stand up for himself when raiders come and throws him in a truck to take him away, and reading will get him nowhere. Malcolm stands up for himself claiming that he’s smart and if she can't appreciate, he is taking high school math classes and reading great books then to just leave him alone because he is going to be successful and rich because he is smart before running into a post. Ida only laughs for not paying attention.
Victor brings Reese into the parents' bedroom and has been waiting for this moment and tells him he is now old enough to receive a gift, a case of his old weapons, Reese is impressed with the wide array of equipment such as a gas mask, field glasses and chocolate K-rations which Victor claims he can get a nice girlfriend with. Reese thanks him before pulling the pin off a live grenade, assuming it was no longer active, and Victor panics telling him that it is a live grenade and to hold onto the handle or it will explode. He grabs the pin to disarm it but accidentally breaks the pin.
In the kitchen Malcolm is nursing his bruise when they both run in and inform him of what happened, Malcolm attempts to call the police, but Victor claims that there is no reason to panic but Malcolm reminds him that he gave Reese a live grenade and he is a total idiot which even Reese himself agrees to. While arguing over it they drop the grenade, thinking on impulse Malcolm throws it in the new fridge to keep it from destroying the house, as they all run for their lives, blowing up the fridge in the process. They all run outside before it explodes.
Later a shocked Lois demands an answer, Reese explains what happened, but states Malcolm was the one responsible for destroying the new fridge, but Lois's anger is on her parents for bringing and giving Reese live ammunition and how they must be completely insane. Ida tells her not to talk to them like that, causing her to break down.
Hal announces that he has seen enough and tells Lois to take the boys into the bedroom and leave him alone with her parents. After they leave, he sits Ida and Victor down and tells them while it is not his place to fix their relationship with Lois, he decides to take a stab at the price for the traumas they have put her through, a total of $3000. Victor and Ida are shocked, though Hal calmly explains that this money will cover the cost of the destroyed fridge, the collateral damage, pay off some credit cards, and get his car's transmission fixed. Victor continues to protest, and Hal threatens that with one phone call he can get the two of them thrown in jail for child endangerment and acknowledges that since they don't like giving the family money, they will call this $3000 payment blackmail. Ida laughs and claims that this situation is similar to one they experienced with Victor's brother Vaslev all over again. While not seen onscreen, the two obviously pay Hal for the damages to avoid prison because Reese’s testimony along with the crate filled with weapons can put them away.
Back in New Orleans, the cadets are getting ready to return to Marlin Academy after having a great time. Eric tells Francis that they have to hit the road, or they won’t arrive in time for bed check, but Francis refuses to leave until he gets some action. The maid needs to do her job, so she lifts up her shirt and flashes him before telling him that he needs to leave. A stunned Francis says that it was good enough and gets up to follow the others.
Trivia[]
- First appearances of Ida and Victor Welker.
- Ida had been mentioned only as "grandma" is numerous previous episodes but hasn't made an on-screen appearance until now.
- This is also the only appearance of Victor. He was mentioned to have passed away in Christmas.
- Victor's death was foreshadowed by Lois as she says "she'll be thankful when they're gone" albeit Malcolm questions if she means back to their own home in Canada. She pauses and then says that's what she meant, implying what she really meant different.
- Malcolm mentions and foreshadows his grandmother's malicious behavior in the episode Old Mrs. Old. Hoping Mrs. Griffin would be a grandmother figure but not like his own.
- The episode reveals why Victor and Ida favors Reese more than Malcolm. As he is the only strong one in the family, they believe he'll go on to better things. To Victor and Ida, Reese reminds them of Susan because she was strong and overcame adversity. They resent Malcolm despite his genius mainly because of their own resentment to Lois for being weak all her life, and thus, they believe he has inherited all her weak traits.
- This is the opposite in Family Reunion in which the Wilkerson relatives favor Malcolm and treat him very well. They show their resentment to Reese because they believe he is the only thing that is wrong with Hal's family since his marriage to Lois.
- Dewey only had three lines in the episode. In the cold opening, he says, "I am," in a flashback montage when the boys play hockey in the kitchen he says, “Aw, man!” and when the new refrigerator gives him ice cubes, he says, "Thank you."
- A small animal cage can be seen on a high shelf in the boys' room when Hal and Lois are arguing.