Malcolm and Reese spend the day fighting at a water park. Francis gets into a different kind of pool match with Spangler. Dewey stays home with an odd babysitter due to his ear infection. Hal and Lois are trying to enjoy a tropical vacation at a water park. Once the boys ruin that, Lois ragefully yells at her boys at the Liquidator
Lois is prepping Hal for a family trip to the water park and unfortunately for Dewey, he can't go because of an ear infection. He becomes clearly upset about it, while Lois tries to console him and soon mentions that he needs to stop sticking dirty things into his ears. When Reese tries to give him a wet willy, she smacks his hand away reminding him not to make fun of Dewey. Lois points out that if they can't get a proper babysitter for him, she will cancel the trip by making Reese and Malcolm, his babysitters. Unfortunately the Wilkersons have a hard time hiring a babysitter for Dewey, due to Malcolm and Reese's countless misbehaving themselves towards their previous babysitters. They eventually manage to hire a stern babysitter named Mrs. White (Beatrice Arthur) and the family is off to the water park.
At Marlin Academy, Spangler is gloating after winning against Francis in a game of pool. However, he soon gets suspicious when he learns that his most rebellious student has been plotting something. Spangler finds out from the local police that Francis has been out at local bars hustling, and is upset that he has been letting him win. He insists that Francis play his best game of pool against him, while his fellow cadets tell him he has to lose so Spangler doesn't get upset. Because if Francis wins, the cadets are going to torture him with hours of educational programing on PBS. They end up in a battle as to who can play a more spectacularly bad game of pool, pulling trick shots to scratch on the eight-ball. Spangler loses, but the cadets end up not caring at the end.
At the water park, Lois and Hal are trying to enjoy themselves a nice "tropical" vacation, while Malcolm and Reese are at war. They soon ruin their parents' tropical vacation with their constant fighting and Lois soon yells at them at the top of the Liquidator water slide. As she continues to yell, Malcolm looks at Reese and encourages him to push her down the slide. He tries but refuses and Lois comes to suspect something is wrong. Sure enough Malcolm pushes her down the slide and Reese tells him that this was the bravest thing he's seen him do. However, Lois somehow manages to hold on to something, grabs both of the boys and they slide down the water slide together. As she continues yelling at both Malcolm and Reese, Lois tells them "This is the last time, I'm taking you boys anywhere." They come out of the water slide splashing Hal and everyone else in the process.
Back at the Wilkerson home, Dewey bonds with Mrs. White and they start enjoying many activities together. After they dance around in the kitchen, she was taken away in an ambulance, (Whether she died or not is clearly unknown) and he goes chasing after a red balloon that's being carried by the wind and winds up being lost in a Chinatown. He then follows a paper bag that's also being carried by the wind ending the episode.
- Jane Kaczmerek as Lois
- Bryan Cranston as Hal
- Christopher Kennedy Masterson as Francis
- Justin Berfield as Reese
- Erik Per Sullivan as Dewey
- Frankie Muniz as Malcolm
- Catherine Lloyd Burns as Caroline Miller
- Eric Nenniger as Eric
- Bea Arthur as Mrs. White
- Kasan Butcher as Joe
- Malakai Pearson as Cadet 1
- Kevin Christy as Attendant
- John Michael Miller as Lifeguard
- Amanda Fuller as April
- Marsha Clark as Babysitter 1
- Laura Roth as Teenage girl
- Jared McVey as Elderly man
- Adam Vernier as Babysitter 2 and Large man
- Lois: (to Malcolm & Reese) Do you think we're wealthy?! Wealthy people drive fancy cars. They have fresh pasta. Do we do any of those things?! NO! Wealthy people can afford any of their vacations ruined, no big deal. They just pick up and go again. Your father and I worked so hard, so long. What IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO?! ARE YOU ABORIGINES?! Every time I turn around, I hear someone screaming and fighting. And I pray to God that's someone else's children, but it's not, it's always you! Sane children would appreciate this. Are you even thinking? No, you're always at each other like a couple of rabid monkeys. It is not enough you two do this every day, but you have to make me suffer. Well, help me....
- [Comes to the realization that Reese and Malcolm are up to something.]
- Lois: Don't you dare!
- [Malcolm pushes Lois down the slide by the finger and she screams.]
- Attendant: Arms and legs crossed at all times.
- Reese: That's the bravest thing I've ever seen you do.
- Malcolm: Yeah.
- Reese: You're gonna die.
- Malcolm: I know. So, you think Mom's going to be okay?
- [Lois pulls the two of them down the slide as well. While going down the slide, she continues yelling at Malcolm and Reese.]
- Lois: This is the last time I'm taking you boys anywhere.
- [Lois, Malcolm and Reese emerges from the slide, splashing everyone including Hal.]
- Dewey: [sobbing] Why can't I go?
- Lois: Dewey, we've discussed this. You have to stay home because of your ear infection.
- Dewey: I never get to go.
- Lois: Honey, I know it seems like a pattern. It's just this... and Disneyland... oh, and that chocolate factory tour. Maybe it's time you stop sticking dirty things in your ears.
- Reese: Hey, Dewey. How's the ear?
- [He puts his finger in his mouth and sticks it in Dewey's ear.]
- Lois:(slaps Reese) Stop teasing him, Reese! You know, if your father doesn't find a babysitter, nobody is going anywhere and let's see who's crying then
- Hal: (on the phone with potential babysitters) Oh no, no, no. It's just the little one the other two won't be anywhere near you.
- Malcolm Ever since I can remember, we've always had trouble with baby-sitters.
- Baby-sitter A: [cooing] Hello! Goochy, goochy, goochy, goo. Goochy, goochy— [screams as her finger is bitten]
- Baby-sitter B: I don't know, sweetie; what do you have behind your back? [screams, running from the house]
- Baby-sitter C [a man is locked in the closet by Malcolm and Reese]: You little losers, I've had enough of this! You open this door right now! Look, I'm a little claustrophobic, okay? Just open the door! Let me out! Come on!
- [back to the present]
- Malcolm: I don't know. I'm starting to think it might be us.
- Reese: (to Malcolm) Hey there, girly. Let me adjust your bra strap. (grabs his nose plug and smacks him) Now, we're even.
- This episode originally had a darker ending involving Mrs. White kidnapping Dewey and heading down south of the border to Mexico. She dyes his hair black and renames him, "Pepe".
- This episode marks the first appearances of Cadets Joe and Eric.
- Stanley isn't seen after this episode
- It has also been revealed that many babysitters refuse to take care of the boys whenever their parents go away due to their misbehavior.
- Craig and Stevie don't appear in this episode.
- The song that plays during Francis and Spangler's final game of pool is "Mixed Bizness" by Beck.
- Dewey is the only one out of the Wilkerson boys that got along with his babysitter. This would be repeated in the next season's episode Convention.
- The water park the Wilkersons are at is Wild Rivers Water Park, located in Irvine, California (As of September, 2011, Wild Rivers closed as a result of an expired lease with The Irvine Company, but is scheduled to open a new, larger park in Temecula, California in May 2014).
- In the next episode, it is revealed that Lois, Hal, Malcom and Reese are permanently expelled from the Water Park for rule violations (including sneaking alcohol and fighting).
- Beatrice Arthur is the first actress from the Golden Girls to guest star on an episode of Malcolm in the Middle. Betty White will soon follow playing Victor's secret wife, Sylvia.
- The song that plays while Dewey and his babysitter are dancing is "Fernando" by ABBA.
- In one scene Malcom is talking but his mouth is not moving.
- In one scene where Spangler and Francis are playing pool, Spangler is seen with his eyepatch over his left eye and his right eye intact. Usually, it's the other way around.
- In the shot where Malcolm comes up behind Reese to pants him, April is seen looking directly at them at the end of the shot. In the next shot, when Malcolm does pants him, it starts with April looking away and not looking back until she Malcolm's pantsing of Reese gains her attention.
- In one of the shots where Spangler attempts to lose, he sinks the eight-ball on a break. That would normally be considered an immediate win, not a loss.