Plot[edit | edit source]
Lois and Hal takes Malcolm and Reese to the water park for a vacation. However, the boys proves to be extremely ungrateful and fight. After Malcolm and Reese ruins Hal and Lois' attempt at a tropical vacation, Lois screams at them at the top of the Liquidator.
After being arrested by the Alabama Sheriff for sneaking out of Marlin Academy to hustle pool at local bars, Spangler demands Francis to play his best game or face the consequences.
Meanwhile, Dewey is saddled with a stern, but kind babysitter named Mrs. White.
Summary[edit | edit source]
In the cold opening, Hal runs into the boys' room and asks who would like to make $5 for taking the fall for an unknown reason. Lois is then heard shouting in shock and alarm, Malcolm tells him to double the amount to $10. Hal agrees and drags him out to face his mother's wrath.
Lois is prepping Hal for a family trip to the water park and unfortunately for Dewey, he can't go because of an ear infection. He becomes clearly upset about it, while Lois tries to console him and soon mentions that he needs to stop sticking dirty things into his ears. When Reese tries to give him a wet willy, she smacks his hand away reminding him not to make fun of Dewey. Lois points out that if she and Hal can't get a proper babysitter for him, they will go to the water park alone and leave Reese and Malcolm at home to be his babysitters. Hal is on the phone with the babysitter agency asking them for a babysitter for Dewey, trying to reassure them that Malcolm and Reese will be nowhere near them. Unfortunately the Wilkersons have a hard time hiring a babysitter for him. This is because each time Hal and Lois hires them and leaves town for their own vacation, the boys always misbehave themselves and chase the babysitters away. The babysitter agency are very wary of Malcolm and Reese because the two older boys are their previous babysitters' biggest tormentors with their pranks. As a result to their countless misbehavior, the agency has effectively blacklisted the Wilkersons and refused their services. They eventually manage to hire a stern babysitter named Mrs. White and the family is off to the water park.
At Marlin Academy, Spangler is gloating after winning against Francis in a game of pool. However, he soon gets suspicious when he learns that his most rebellious student has been plotting something. The next day, Spangler finds out from the Alabama Sheriff's Department that Francis was arrested by the sheriff. It turns out that he has been sneaking out of the academy at night and hustling at local bars in playing pool. Spangler is upset that Francis has been holding back and letting him win. He tries to maintain that the reason he's been letting the commandant win is to protect the other cadets from his wrath should he attempted to play a real game of pool and win. He doesn't want to infuriate Spangler to have him take it out on the cadets and punish them for his infraction. He claims he is not a child who would throw a tantrum over a simple game. He insists that Francis play his best game of pool against him and no more trying to throw the game or else he will be forced to raise the school flag and stand at attention 3 hours before reveille consecutively for the entire school year, and if he tries his best and still loses he'll be even more miserable. This puts him in a serious bind with Spangler and the other cadets.
At the water park, Lois and Hal are trying to enjoy themselves a nice "tropical" vacation, while Malcolm and Reese are at war. Hal reveals that he sneaked some alcohol in a suntan bottle. The pranks begin with Reese embarrassing Malcolm with his nose plug. Malcolm tells Reese he will get revenge on him but Reese claims he shouldn't be such a baby, forget about it and have fun instead. But Malcolm refuses to let it go and begins Malcolm embarrasses Reese in front of April (a girl he has a crush on) and their classmates. He tricks Reese into confessing the reason he likes her. He claims that she kisses with tongue and thinks of her as a tramp. April overhears this and is so humiliated that she calls Reese a jerk. Afterwards Malcolm attempts to go down the Liquidator waterslide but chickens out and is ridiculed for his cowardice. Reese in the line up then uses his noseplug as a slingshot to even the score. Malcolm attempts to tell his mother but she tells them to handle it themselves or be locked in the car for the rest of the day. Malcolm then tricks a lifeguard into believing that Reese is drowning. Causing a large man to give him mouth to mouth.
At Marlin Academy, Francis is trying to come up with new techniques to throw the game again. His fellow cadets appear before him having caught him practicing and are upset with him. Joe demands to know why Francis is training hard again despite being aware of Spangler's wrath. Joe and Eric both reminds him that he can't win against the commandant in that rematch alone. Francis tells the group that he understands their concerns and confess that Spangler found out about his late night pool hustling at the local bars from the sheriff in the Alabama Sheriff's Department whom arrested him the other night. Under normal circumstances, he would've come up with a way to make excuses for the infraction. However, Spangler is demanding for him to play a real game this time around or face expulsion. This is the reason Francis using this moment to practice on the pool table. He's hoping to find a new technique to throw the game again and lose to Spangler just so he can protect the cadets better. Eric and Joe remind Francis that he has to lose so Spangler doesn't get upset, due to last time a cadet named Hendricks beat him playing horse on a lucky shot the cadets could only watch PBS for a week. They emphasize if he wins, the cadets are going to beat him up and torture him with hours of educational programming on PBS.
At the water park, Malcolm and Reese soon ruin their parents' tropical vacation with their constant fighting. Hal tells Malcolm that he doesn't want to hear about him and Reese and wonders if he can't give him and Lois five minutes of peace without him and Reese trying to kill each other. Malcolm complies and says they can have the rest of the day to themselves because he is quitting since he is not gonna have any fun anyway so he doesn't see a reason to try. Malcolm claims that the trip was horrible and all he did was chicken out, get laughed at and fight with Reese. So he resolves to sunbathe for the rest of the day until it's time to go home. However Reese throws a jockstrap in his face to even the score, Malcolm decides to rejoin the war and goes too far.
The climax of the fight comes when Malcolm pulls down Reese's swim shorts to reveal his naked butt. Everyone laughs at him but Reese is more furious than embarrassed and chases after Malcolm intending to beat him up for the deed. With her and Hal's tropical vacation ruined, a furious Lois chases after the boys to the Liquidator. Before Reese could pound Malcolm, she grabs his hand and shouts out a reminder the family's not wealthy. Lois goes in front of the Liquidator water slide to confront the two older boys. She yells at Malcolm and Reese for misbehaving and blames them for ruining not only their own time at the Wavetown's Water Park, but also her and Hal's as well. Lois mentions that wealthy families can afford to have their fancy things, air conditioning and heaters, go out to dinner anytime and even have their vacations ruined. She reminds Malcolm and Reese that she and Hal worked so hard and taken overtime just to have this vacation. Lois mentions the Wilkersons can't afford to have their vacation ruined because they're not wealthy. Instead of taking the time to appreciate it like good little boys, Malcolm and Reese demonstrated just how ungrateful they are to her and Hal's sacrifices by misbehaving and fighting with each other. Because of this alone, they have once more ruined their family vacation at the Wave town Water Park and Lois having to reprimand the two boys again wondering if they are aborigines. As she continues to yell, Malcolm looks at Reese and encourages him to push her down the slide. Reese refuses, knowing how angry Lois will further be at them. Malcolm encourages it anyway because he's sick of being afraid of her constant screaming at them for ruining her and Hal's tropical vacation. Lois comes to suspect something is wrong. Sure enough Malcolm pushes her down the slide and she goes down the slide. Reese tells him that this was the bravest thing he's seen from his brother all day. He warns Malcolm that he would end up being grounded, but he doesn't care for the moment. However, Lois somehow manages to hold on to something, grabs both of the boys and they slide down the water slide together. As she continues yelling at both Malcolm and Reese, Hal is preparing to eat nachos on the bench. Lois tells them "This is the last time, I'm taking you boys anywhere." They come out of the water slide splashing Hal and everyone else in the process.
At Marlin Academy, Spangler and Francis end up in a battle as to who can play a more spectacularly bad game of pool, pulling trick shots to scratch on the eight-ball. Francis sinks the final ball in the corner pocket and wins. Spangler loses, but the cadets end up not caring at the end. The cadets mentions that they really wanted Francis to win and were just scaring him. Both Francis and Spangler manage to gain a mutual respect for one another in the process.
Back at the Wilkerson home, Dewey bonds with Mrs. White and they start enjoying many activities together. After they dance around in the kitchen to "Fernando" by ABBA she was taken away in an ambulance, (Whether she died or not is clearly unknown) and he goes chasing after a red balloon that's being carried by the wind and winds up being lost in a Chinatown. He then follows a paper bag that's also being carried by the wind with the words "To be continued..." ending the episode.
Cast[edit | edit source]
- Jane Kaczmerek as Lois
- Bryan Cranston as Hal
- Christopher Kennedy Masterson as Francis
- Justin Berfield as Reese
- Erik Per Sullivan as Dewey
- Frankie Muniz as Malcolm
- Catherine Lloyd Burns as Caroline Miller
Guest Stars[edit | edit source]
- Bea Arthur as Mrs. White
Recurring[edit | edit source]
- Daniel Von Bargen as Commandant Spangler
- Arjay Smith as Cadet Finley
- Kasan Butcher as Joe
- Eric Nenniger as Eric
Cameos[edit | edit source]
- Malakai Pearson as Cadet 1
- Kevin Christy as Attendant
- John Michael Miller as Lifeguard
- Amanda Fuller as April
- Marsha Clark as Babysitter 1
- Laura Roth as Teenage girl and babysitter 2
- Jared McVey as Elderly man
- Adam Vernier as Babysitter 3 and Large man
Quotes[edit | edit source]
- Lois:[grabbing Reese's arm] DO YOU THINK WE'RE WEALTHY?!!!!!
- Malcolm and Reese: Huh?!
- Lois: (to Malcolm & Reese) Do you think we're wealthy?! Wealthy people drive fancy cars. They have fresh pasta. Do we do any of those things?! NO! Wealthy people can afford any of their vacations ruined, no big deal. They just pick up and go again. Your father and I worked so hard, so long. What IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO?! ARE YOU ABORIGINES?! Every time I turn around, I hear someone screaming and fighting. And I pray to God that's someone else's children, but it's not, it's always you! Sane children would appreciate this. Are you even thinking? No, you're always at each other like a couple of rabid monkeys. It is not enough you two do this every day, but you have to make me suffer. Well, help me....
- [Comes to the realization that Reese and Malcolm are up to something.]
- Lois: Don't you dare!
- [Malcolm pushes Lois down the slide by the finger and she screams.]
- Attendant: Arms and legs crossed at all times.
- Reese: That's the bravest thing I've ever seen you do.
- Malcolm: Yeah.
- Reese: You're gonna die.
- Malcolm: I know. So, you think Mom's going to be okay?
- [Lois pulls the two of them down the slide as well. While going down the slide, she continues yelling at Malcolm and Reese.]
- Lois: This is the last time I'm taking you boys anywhere.
- [Lois, Malcolm and Reese emerges from the slide, splashing everyone including Hal.]
- Dewey: [sobbing] Why can't I go?
- Lois: Dewey, we've discussed this. You have to stay home because of your ear infection.
- Dewey: I never get to go.
- Lois: Honey, I know it seems like a pattern. It's just this... and Disneyland... oh, and that chocolate factory tour. Maybe it's time you stop sticking dirty things in your ears.
- Reese: Hey, Dewey. How's the ear?
- [He puts his finger in his mouth and sticks it in Dewey's ear.]
- Lois:(slaps Reese) Stop teasing him, Reese! You know, if your father doesn't find a babysitter, nobody is going anywhere and let's see who's crying then
- Lois: (on the phone with potential babysitters) Oh no, no, no. It's just the little one the other two won't be anywhere near you.
- Malcolm Ever since I can remember, we've always had trouble with baby-sitters.
- Baby-sitter A: [cooing] Hello! Goochy, goochy, goochy, goo. Goochy, goochy— [screams as her finger is bitten]
- Baby-sitter B: I don't know, sweetie; what do you have behind your back? [screams, running from the house]
- Baby-sitter C [a man is locked in the closet by Malcolm and Reese]: You little losers, I've had enough of this! You open this door right now! Look, I'm a little claustrophobic, okay? Just open the door! Let me out! Come on!
- [back to the present]
- Malcolm: I don't know. I'm starting to think it might be us.
- Reese: (to Malcolm) Hey there, girly. Let me adjust your bra strap. (grabs his nose plug and smacks him) Now, we're even.
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- This episode originally had a darker ending involving Mrs. White kidnapping Dewey and heading down south of the border to Mexico. She dyes his hair black and renames him, "Pepe".
- This episode marks the first appearances of Cadets Joe and Eric.
- After this episode, Eric becomes Francis' roommate.
- It has also been revealed that many babysitters refuse to take care of the boys whenever their parents go away due to their misbehavior.
- The song that plays during Francis and Spangler's final game of pool is "Mixed Bizness" by Beck.
- Dewey is the only one of the Wilkerson boys that got along with his babysitter. This would be repeated in the next season's episode Convention and the season 4's Reese's Party when Craig becomes his babysitter.
- Driving scenes for the way to the water park were filmed on this bit of Woodley Ave, Lake Balboa, CA 91406. This location would be used several times, e.g. in Evacuation and Reese Drives.
- The water park the Wilkersons visit is Wild Rivers Water Park, located in Irvine, California (As of September, 2011, Wild Rivers closed as a result of an expired lease with The Irvine Company, but is scheduled to open a new, larger park in Temecula, California in May 2014). It's since been levelled to make room for a luxury apartment complex.
- Chinatown, where Dewey ends up after following the baloon, is a set street on the premises of the CBS Studio Center. It has previously been used as a Downtown setting in Sleepover.
- In the next episode, it is revealed that Lois, Hal, Malcolm and Reese are permanently expelled from the Water Park for rule violations (including sneaking alcohol and fighting).
- Beatrice Arthur is the first actress from the Golden Girls to guest star on an episode of Malcolm in the Middle. Betty White will soon follow playing Victor's secret wife, Sylvia.
- Originally, Arthur was going to play Sharon Wilkerson, Hal's mother, who lives next door to them and of whom has a recurring role in the show.
- The song that plays while Dewey and his babysitter are dancing is "Fernando" by ABBA.
Errors[edit | edit source]
- In one scene Malcolm is talking but his mouth is not moving.In one scene where Spangler and Francis are playing pool, Spangler is seen in close-up with his eye patch over his left eye and his right eye intact. Usually, it's the other way around. However, the numbers on the scoring rack behind him are also reversed, which shows that this shot was flipped to match continuity with the wide shot.
- In the shot where Malcolm comes up behind Reese to pants him, April is seen looking directly at them at the end of the shot. In the next shot, when Malcolm does pants him, it starts with April looking away and not looking back until Malcolm's pantsing of Reese gains her attention. Additionally, when Malcolm does pants Reese, the first shot between his legs should show his shins as he is facing away from the bleachers when the pantsing first happens. When the he turns around to face Malcolm, the shot between his legs shows his calves once again.
- In one of the shots where Spangler attempts to lose, he sinks the eight-ball on a break. That would normally be considered an immediate win, not a loss.
- In one of the shots were Malcolm is talking to the camera, a boy can be seen in the background looking at the camera while he is playing with the sand.